Jordan Is A Fruber?! | And How To Drop The Poo Bomb
episodePreviously titled “Jordan Is A Fruber?! | And And How To Drop The Poo Bomb” — renamed by the publisher on Sep 18, 2026
Transcript
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What is the episode’s opening banter and what topics will be covered today?
Hello and welcome to our Friday episode, where we see how much extra content we can squeeze into your week, random bits that have been sent in, and how our advice went down with you, our wonderful G and Divas.
You all good? Yes, all good. I'm making the final preparations for my luxury soirée this weekend. How would you got everyone? Paying people to do it for you. I s I clean.
Dear
Yes. I get things ready. I've got g overnight guests staying, so I'm going to prepare the guests. Can
I just say
Well no
I actually know I'm not gonna.
Yeah. So I you know, I just I mean tidy things away, make sure there's surface space for people to put their drinks down on. Open up my back I mean I'm not gonna do that until the last minute. Open up the back doors.
Is it a bit of a cop out to say you're hosting if you're paying for caterers?
No. You're still paying for it. Say you are hosting.
Yeah. Okay. Will you save me some of the food? 'Cause it was really good last time.
Uh what if there's any left? There wasn't last time. What drinks are you doing? Uh red wine, white wine.
Mm-hmm.
Champagne. We are, and I haven't I don't I'm not a fan of this at a soiree. Uh uh at my caliber of soiree. Yours it it works. Beer. Oh, you're doing there's not a lot of beer.
I'll be run out then.
But we have got some.
You'll never run out of beer in my house ever.
And then some soft drinks for the non drinkers. Okay.
You didn't have beer last year.
We did not have beer last year. To be honest, we've got loads under the stairs where we keep a lot of our it's like a little bit of odd bins under the stairs. Um so I thought, well, we could serve that to try and clear it.
Oh, okay.
Because we're not gonna drink it. It's gotta be cold though. Have you got enough room? Well this is this is this is what I'm worried about because also we've got we've got to we've got to chill the white wine and the um and the champagne.
Pull out a drawer in your freezer and put the beers in your freezer. Just don't let it and then it'll be a little bit more. Well I said this to Mikey
the other day. I said, you know, we've got to like this week we've got to run down the fridge so we actually have space for Ice buckets. Get ice
bucket.
Oh, there will be ice buckets. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wobbly buckets. Get those wobbly buckets, put some ice in them.
Uh do I look like a wobbly bucket sort of person?
Yes. Just get those, put it in your back garden. No. There's not worse than a warm beer and a warm white wine. I am not doing wobbly buckets. Put get out a drawer in your freezer, clear it out and just put all your beers in there and just keep your eye on them and they'll they'll be cold within an hour. Ice cold. That's what you want.
Well MyFridge has a um Frit Riza has a bottle freeze uh function where you press it. I don't think it makes it it just times it for twenty minutes and then beeps at you incessantly before you take it out so you don't forget it's in there.
Great. I wish my freeze had that. That's well fancy. Can't say this enough, Steen Deed has said it before. It's no longer putting a bit of alcohol in the freezer, just don't forget it. It gets it colder quicker.
Well yeah, because I think I've said this before, when we moved into the the house we're in now we got the fridge freezer that we have now, Mikey decided to put a thing of Guinness in the freezer and forgot about it. Exploded. And it was Three days old. That That Frit Triza, I was fresh out of hospital where I was fighting for my life and that was the last thing I wanted to do.
That was last year.
When
I rung you and what did you say? You went, It was
Close to death.
No, you said I think oh it was Dutch and go. And I rang you on my holiday and you're like, It was And I'm not sure
you actually realised the severity of the
biggest.
No, I don't. I
didn't realise how well you were. Yeah, you won't be doing that again. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Um right, in our episode Help That's Not My Man Porridge. Dean wrote in asking what the classiest colour scheme is for your home. Jordan, you've uh made your love of fancy paint names very clear in the past.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What is the episode’s opening banter and what topics will be covered today?
0:05–5:43
2
How do the hosts plan a luxury soirée and what drink‑and‑food tips do they share?
5:43–11:13
3
What quirky paint‑colour names did the G‑&‑Divas create and how did they decide on the winners?
11:13–16:10
4
What quick‑fire etiquette questions are answered and what are the key takeaways?
16:10–22:57
5
Should you eat the froth from a cappuccino with a spoon or just stir it?
22:57–29:12
6
How can you politely decline a handshake without offending someone?
29:12–35:34
7
How long should you wait before asking a friend to repay money they owe you?
35:34–35:44
Speakers
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