How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
‘I Went from Lonely to Dating Like Crazy!’ How Kyle Attracted His First Girlfriend in Years, and How You Can Too (Live Coaching)
Thu, 17 Apr 2025
A proud veteran with a big heart, Kyle was lonely and struggling to get dates—until dating coach Connell Barrett showed him how to approach women with real confidence and charm. “It’s amazing, but authenticity really does work,” Kyle says in this live coaching call. Soon he was going on two dates a week and had landed a girlfriend. Now newly single, he’s ready to level up again. Listen as Connell reviews Kyle’s Hinge profile and shares 3 simple ways to get more matches today.The Moments You Don’t Want to Miss:07:11: From Lonely to “Dating Like Crazy”—Kyle’s Big Breakthrough08:32: How Kyle Overcame Approach Anxiety and Attracted Women IRL15:08: Connell Reveals the 12 Essentials of an Irresistible Online-Dating Profile17:35: The Photo You Need to Add to Get More Matches25:30: Should You Pay to Boost Your Profile? Connell Breaks it Down31:33: How to Write a Prompt that’s Funny and Flirty47:07: The Approach Opener Kyle Used to Meet a Large Group of Women at a BarDO YOU WANT TO ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND? BOOK A FREE CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN ABOUT 1-1 COACHING:http://www.DatingTransformation.comEMAIL CONNELL FOR A FREE COPY OF HIS NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”:[email protected]
Chapter 1: How did Kyle go from lonely to dating like crazy?
And so all of a sudden, Kyle had gone from a scarcity of options to a lot of good dating options and a lot of confidence. And he had this wonderful girlfriend in his life. And that's where I had left him until recently when he reached back out to me and said, Connell, we broke up. It ended. We had a tough conversation.
Chapter 2: What is the key to overcoming approach anxiety?
We just looked at our lives and realized that there were some big picture things that we both didn't want. So they decided to end their relationship. And that was painful for Kyle. Breakups are hard.
Even when you've got a new and improved sense of confidence and you've got lots of dating leads, if you end it with somebody or if somebody ends it with you, a woman ends it, and you cared for her, that's going to hurt. That's going to really be painful. And so Kyle has just recently come back to me saying, Connell, time to get back to it. Let's go get some more dating options.
So he came back to me for a little bit to restart, reboot his dating life. And essentially what we mainly looked at today is his online dating profile. And I think you're going to get a lot of value from today's episode. First of all, I think you're going to be really inspired by Kyle and just realize, wow, if he can succeed and date some incredible women, then I can too.
That's what I would love for you to feel. And also... Pay special attention to when I go through a checklist. I'm going to go through a checklist today of what I call the 12 essentials of online dating success. And there are 12 core essential things that a man needs to have handled correctly on his online dating profile to make sure we get him, you, good matches and good online dating results.
So if you're not getting matches on the dating apps, if you don't get good matches anyway, or not very many of them, chances are that you don't have many or most of these 12 essentials handled. So I'm also going to be speaking with Kyle about that too. So get ready to meet Kyle. I think you're really going to like him. He's a great guy.
It was my pleasure to serve him and help him as his coach and help him find a relationship, albeit temporarily. And now we're going to get back at it. And help him find the one he's going to be with long term. So you're going to enjoy meeting Kyle and also learning some online dating secrets as well. And by the way, so obviously, so today is 80% coaching session, 20% success story.
That's what today's episode is about. And by the way, if you are interested in working with me, if you want to know more about like what is dating coaching? How does it work? How does Connell? Help guys. How do we go out and get dates? Then what you're welcome to do is you can go to my website, datingtransformation.com. And I do one-on-one personalized coaching with men.
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Chapter 3: What are the 12 essentials of an irresistible online dating profile?
I only do one-on-one coaching. I don't do like large groups. I only do one-on-one because personalized coaching is what works, is what works best. And if you want to know more about how online or sorry, how my coaching works, then you can do a free call with me. Go to datingtransformation.com and click the book a call button and you can book a call with me. Talk for free.
And I'll help you identify some of the dating problems that are holding you back. I'll look at what confidence improvements we can make, what improvements we can make on your profile. And then we'll figure out if we might want to work together. So it's a free call. There's absolutely no pressure. You can go to datingtransformation.com to do that.
Chapter 4: How can you choose the right photos for your dating profile?
Okay, let's get to my coaching session with my good buddy, my former and now current client, amazing guy named Kyle. Here we go. Kyle, long time no chat, man.
How you been? What's up, brother? Just living life, man, you know. trying to get some success in online and in-person dating. Okay.
Very cool. I love it when a former client comes back and says, Hey, I'm out of a new, I'm out of a relationship and let's do what we can to take things to the next level and find you an even better dating option and the girlfriend you're going to settle down with. Before we do that, I wanted to ask you a couple of quick questions in terms of the coaching that you and I did together.
or you came to me with some, some problems. Can you talk a little bit about what progress we were able to make in our time together? Um, maybe some lessons you learned, things that helped you.
Yeah, absolutely. Uh, we definitely revamped the entire online dating profile and, uh, a way I just didn't understand, uh, the algorithms of, uh, the different apps and how they worked and stuff like that, how to be successful on them. And, uh, between, uh, You and Rianne, we definitely were able to make all the necessary changes. I saw the results almost immediately, right?
Yeah.
What from the pictures and the order, which, again, didn't realize that mattered, but it does.
Right.
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Chapter 5: Should you pay to boost your dating profile?
Then the prompts and, of course, the openers. You know what I mean? What should they be? Are they personalized? And, you know, you see the results. So whether it's generically changing it based on the modules, which helped a lot, Yep. Or even on a coaching call, you know, sending a screenshot, you know, what should I do here, you know?
Right.
And it really helped me out. I exercised those muscles to the point where I didn't, every time I was launching into it, I just went with what felt natural because I had practiced it so much. And I didn't need to rely on you as much anymore, you know what I mean?
Okay. What about approaching girls? We're going to talk mainly about online dating today.
Okay.
And I know that the photos you got definitely helped you get... more better matches online, it sounds like. At the same time, I know you were also out meeting women in real life. And it sounds like we had a couple of nice funnels of dating leads coming into your dating funnel.
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Chapter 6: How to write a flirty and funny dating prompt?
What was the biggest thing that you learned about approaching women that you could share that maybe the guy listening to this doesn't realize he needs to know?
Well, everything that you thought you knew, you have to forget, which if you realize it was wrong, that shouldn't be too hard, right? But we're analyzing it, you know, based on like trying to solve a traditional problem. You have to just kind of throw that away, right?
So let's talk about approaching briefly. You said a few minutes ago to me that you got to forget everything you know. What is it that you thought you knew about approaching that I helped you with and that maybe the guy listening to this needs to know?
Yeah, so approaching is not like, you know, conducting a business transaction at the DMV or something like that, right? It's not like going to the social security office. Hey, next up, I'm Kyle, how you doing? This is what I bring to the table, right? A lot of times she's just tuning that out. You have to offer some value, right? You have to add some value. What?
You're saying women don't want to see your resume and treat it like a job interview?
What?
I know. And if we thought that that was the case, even if we didn't actually think that, but if that's the way we acted, right?
Right.
It wasn't going to work out too well, right? She's looking for you to add value. And there's... Definitely enough regular business transactions in the course of everybody's life. We want to feel good when we're approaching. Whether we're being approached or the one doing the approaching. we have to figure out how to add some value. And that's how I reframed it in my mind. You know what I mean?
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Chapter 7: What approach opener did Kyle use to meet women?
authentic approach right if there's a follow-up if we're there long enough right yeah then we can stop and kind of uh go back to our whole problem solving thing that we do as men and say okay like you know now i've added some value right now i can take a step back and assess you know how do i think she's feeling and what could i do about that you know and then that that'll have the rebound effect of adding even more value and i think it's going to
work out pretty well for you.
Well, I just want to say how proud of you I am. I remember the first night I met you, you came out with me in New York City. I do in person one on one coaching in New York. You came out and I saw you were in your head and I saw you were not super comfortable socially. And to think of all the dates. and successful approaches and a girlfriend. You ended up dating for a while. I'm just so impressed.
I'm not surprised, but I am impressed by the incredible progress you made. So I appreciate that. Well done. And now you're back because you recently had a relationship end and that is totally normal. Usually a guy might, might cycle through a few women he's seeing and dating, one or two girlfriends, before he finds the person who's the right fit long-term.
And I know you're back single after having recently ended a relationship with the woman you dated. And let's get back to you on that path to abundance and great options. And how can I serve you today? What can I help you with?
Well, as a condition of this relationship that I was in, right, we had both... deleted our dating profiles, right? So now essentially I'm reverting back to the training that we had done before and I'm just in the process of rebuilding it and re-exercising those muscles that we talked about, you know what I mean? So that's pretty much where we're at, yeah.
Okay. And what would you like my specific help with? Should we start by looking at your profile together or is there something you want to ask me about?
That sounds good. I think there might be some modifications that we could make, so let's take a look at it.
Okay, great. Let me check out your profile. And so what I did is I sent you something right before we hopped on this call. I sent you a list of what I call the 12 essentials. 12 essentials of an irresistible dating profile. And I'm going to post this also on my Instagram for you listening to this if you want to be able to see a screenshot of these.
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