GRANNY BINGO'S NMF: Setting Fire To A Lesbian & Retail Wars
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Who are Granny Bingo’s Edith and Maureen and what’s their back‑story?
It's a Lot is recorded on Gadigal land. We pay our respects to the traditional custodians of this land and to elders past and present. We also would love to extend our respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people listening today and remind you all that sovereignty was never ceded and it always was and always will be Aboriginal land.
It's a Lot is Everyone, we're here for a Nightmare Fuel with – I'm actually with Starstruck and I can't quite look at who I'm with. I'm with the amazing – I went and saw their show. I can't even talk. I'm so nervous. I went and saw their show about a year ago and I was really thrilled to meet you both in person. I'm here with the incredible granny bingo duo Maureen and Ed. Edith. Hi there. Hello, everyone. Thank you. Nice to see you. Thanks for
having us on finally,
Debbie. I know, I know. I've been using, I have your little souvenir tea spoon. Plug the merch. Thank you very much. It's really genius. I'm actually jealous of it. I had a tour recently and I almost did it, but I thought I might get in trouble. No, you do it. We'll fix
tour.
Exactly.
Thank you.
So Maureen and Edith, tell everyone a little bit about yourselves. Well, we're Melbourne girls.
Sorry.
It's audio only so they mightn't see what's going on right now. You must tune in on the video. That's right.
Maureen and I, well, we've been best friends for years, haven't we? We went to an agricultural boarding school for young ladies
and
we were the naughty girls up the back of the
class. I can imagine. Yeah, we used to, you'd flick the rubber bands at the teacher, the nun, you know, or one of our friends, Beryl, she used to put a bomb under the priest's car. That's right, yeah. She was a Protestant. She was a Protestant.
Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, they're out of control. And, well, we've raised our children together and we worked together. Yep. And we now live together. Yeah. In the nursing home in Areola Gardens, which is the name of the home, we share a room to cut down on costs. Yeah,
it's not a bed.
Top and tail. Top
and tail. Never any funny business? Never any funny business. Never
once? Oh, once a while ago. I don't want to go into too much detail. But we've popped up here to Sydney to see you, of course, in Sydney, and we are loving it, aren't we? Oh, it's wild. I mean, Sydney used to be the last place
you'd
choose
to go to. That's right. Now
every pub has
pokies.
That's right.
It's
unbelievable. I've got to say, you know, this podcast, you've really looked after us. Thank you so much. You should see the accommodation they've put us up in. We're staying in a hotel.
What's it called? Oh, it's on Oxford Street there. Sydney. Sydney sauna. Sydney sauna. Sauna. The rooms
are a little bit small. Small. And the beds are a little bit sticky, but there's as many towels as you like.
Very nice. And in the morning they bring in the breakfast, you know, and they've got the little hole in the door like they normally do in a hotel and a little chipolata comes through. Just through a
small hole in the wall,
which is very nice. Yeah, very efficient. Very efficient.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah. But it's lovely. Self-sourcing. We've been going around. Self-sourcing. We've had culinary experiences, really, here in Sydney. We went out for dinner last night at about 4pm. It was very
nice, wasn't it? Oh, really nice. Really lovely, yeah. Where
did you go? We had Peking duck. Oh!
As did I. Do you like
Peking duck?
What crazy ‘fire‑the‑lesbian’ stunt did they pull at a show?
Yeah, all the time. Wonderful.
I need
extra sauce on my Peking
duck. That's right. It's very filling. No, I don't like the sauce that much. You don't like the sauce? I don't ever have the sauce. Right. Genuinely never. I thought it was just part of the deal. Yeah, no, I actually, this is a weird fact about me, I actually have never swallowed Adam's Cump.
Really? Well, that's more information than I needed to
know, I think, Abby, but
good on you.
And, you know, I know
you're all about your feminism and things and girl
power and
hysterectomies and that sort of stuff.
You
know, maybe, though, Abby, every now and then do a nice episode of your podcast,
I think.
Well, I've
got you on today.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Who are Granny Bingo’s Edith and Maureen and what’s their back‑story?
0:00–3:27
2
What crazy ‘fire‑the‑lesbian’ stunt did they pull at a show?
3:27–6:56
3
How did the attempted murder with the flour‑filled urn unfold?
6:56–10:54
4
What happened during the optical‑retail nightmare with the angry customer?
10:54–14:59
5
Why did the customer threaten legal action over lens colour?
14:59–18:55
6
How did the hosts use the ‘ombudsman’ perspective to dissect the story?
18:55–23:32
7
What’s the significance of hot coffee and ‘extra hot’ cappuccinos for the guests?
23:32–27:31
8
Where can listeners find more Granny Bingo content and follow the show?
27:31–30:29
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from It's A Lot with Abbie Chatfield
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BENSION SIEBERT'S NMF: The Threat That Made Him Go Public as a S*x Worker
IT'S A LITTLE: The Problem with the Lindsay Clancy Trial Discourse
SOLO: 'Why Men Don't Listen And Women Can't Read Maps'
NMF: Everything's A Conspiracy!!