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Full Episode
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Patriots, Gatriots, Thatriots. Caw, caw, caw, caw. Maybe ho, ho. Ho, ho. Caw, caw. Ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho.
Ho, ho, ho. All right. Pumps, what have you had it with? What I've had it with is wrapping paper. And let me tell you why. I've got all my gifts wrapped. I'm ready to go. I have two gifts left. I have to go out and rebuy wrapping paper. I just think we should do unwrapped gifts. Have you ever been to those showers where everything's just unwrapped so you don't have to open it?
That's what my campaign is going to be. And now granted, I don't have one Christmas decoration up. I don't have my Christmas tree up. I only have lights and a wreath on my door. That's it. That's the list. But I'm just like, fuck. It's like Christmas and I have no paper.
Here's the thing. I think that is a ball humbug city. Unwrapping the gifts. You can dress up like Christmas all you want to today. You're a ball humbug. No, I have two trees up. My house is lit up like an intercontinental ballistic missile of gay pride lights. I have the black nutcracker. Which is fabulous. He's purchased. He's up.
And I wrap each gift individually and I tie a beautiful bow on it because the unwrapping is a huge part of the process. You can't just start giving people unwrapped gifts. What if I said they were from Santa? Yeah. Well, everybody knows Santa's not real. And kids that are listening to our podcast, I'm sorry that I just blew the whistle on that. But your parents shouldn't let you listen to us.
We are terrible people. We're terrible people. We have filthy mouths. Yes. So I think that is a ball humbug. I think we have to wrap. I think you... You've always struggled with wrapping.
Yeah, I'm a great corner wrapper. But I just, it irritates me. I'm the only one that wraps in my house. So I end up wrapping everything. And on a couple of the dog wrapper wrapping. Wait, what do you mean dog wrapping? Well, for the dog's presents, I got them little babies.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Pump the brakes. Because I remember for years, I would buy my dog gifts and I would wrap them up. And I was browbeat, ridiculed, shamed, ostracized. It was really bad. And now you're telling me that you've purchased gifts for your dogs and wrapped it up.
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