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Chapter 2: What are the challenges of dining with tardy friends?
She is America's top DEI hire.
America's top DEI, me, mom, meat, curtains, effortless.
Legal eagle.
Legal eagle, effortlessly cheat.
You know what would be great? The real legal eagle. I wish he'd sue you for us kind of using the name legal eagle, just for a distraction. Just for a little entertainment value? Yeah.
Yeah. The thing about suing somebody, it's just a pain in the ass. I know.
Everything about it is a pain. I know it is. I need something to take my eye off the ball of the Russian billionaire power grab on the United States of America.
I think we're stewing in that for quite some time. Definitely the foreseeable future. Kylie.
Yes. Do you have this issue with belts? I don't have this issue with belts. I have before, and you know what I do. I take a knife, and I'll make my own holes. Surgery? Mm-hmm. I would have done that at your age too. DIY surgery?
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Chapter 5: What issues does Chelsea have with belts?
I have never I know I I hit it. I love flight attendants. I dedicated my entire new book to them. They do not get enough respect. These people put up with garbage and nonsense and inebriated people and men with fucking bare feet on planes. They deserve raises and they deserve to drink and do drugs while they're transporting us from one location to the next.
Yeah, I loved it when they got to duct tape people during COVID. I was like, go for it because people are awful.
They act terrible. As if you would be mad at a flight attendant about the rules on a flight. I once had a guy next to me tell on me because I had my phone on and I was listening to something during takeoff. I'm like, and he flagged the flight attendant to tell on me. Meanwhile, we're both adults. I'm sitting right next to him.
It's like if we're in like, you know, fucking Catholic school or something. And the flight attendant was like, sir, she's right here. If you want her to take her headphones off or take off, which, by the way, is not a thing. You can actually listen to something while you're taking off. I mean, maybe not now with the way the FAA is being organized by.
Doge and Elon Musk, maybe you should turn your, your, your phone or your program off. But I, my, the flight attendant was like, I'm not ever going to fuck with Chelsea. Like I've got their back and they've got my back and passengers can, you know, I don't like when people tell on each other as adults. It's so stupid.
Okay. Had it or hit it pickleball.
Oh, I've had it with pickleball.
Chelsea, I've won a tournament in pickleball. Most recent tournament, I was a semi-finalist, which means hashtag almost a winner.
Which means that you're almost an exerciser. That pickleball is not a real sport and everyone needs to stop acting like it is. I can understand that there's fun to be had, but it is not a real, it's not, that is not a demonstration of athleticism. Have you played? I have played. I played at the Bush compound in Kennebunkport with George W. Bush watching me play.
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