Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots, brown-triots, triple-trumpers, can-do-what-pumps.
Fuck off! All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with, and I know I've probably said this before because it is one of my biggest habits of all time. And that is when you're on the phone and you say, okay, well, I need to run or I need to go or I've got to let you go. And the person says, just one more thing. Just one more thing. Not one more thing.
I said I had to go. That drives me insane. I think it's controlling. And because I'm working in therapy on my boundaries, my new thing is I don't have time for one more thing. I got to let you run. But can you imagine being that like, I don't know, what is it? Narcissistic, lack of self-awareness, selfish, controlling. What is it?
Chapter 2: What frustrations do the hosts express about phone conversations?
Well, I, I have to say sometimes I've been on the phone with you and we're literally in the middle of something and very important points that I have to make. And I'm only 75% with the points. And then you start this, I got to go. And I'm like, no, you're not going. I still have 15 more percent to tell you or 25% more to tell you. And then you hang up and, uh,
And then I call you right back and I'm like, no, I wasn't done. So to me, it's about completion. However, however, the specific type of person that you're talking about, a phone lollygagger, that is very real. And that is really problematic. And I have a person in my life that does this to me, Josh. I was going to say, your husband? Yeah.
And I'll start, I'll go, well, I'll start closing language at first. Right. He's a lot more sensitive than I am. And so like, you can go, I got to go. And you hang up, I'm like, you're such a fucking bitch. I didn't finish my story. And you're like, okay. Neither one of us is sensitive about it. I cannot do that with Josh, right? Because he's a lot more sensitive.
Not with other people, only with me. Right. And so I'll start, okay, well, I am. And he goes, oh, are you wanting to get off the phone? I'm nowhere near done. I mean, I'm just gearing up for the conversation, mama. And I'm just sitting there like...
Chapter 3: How do the hosts define boundaries in their personal lives?
you know clenching my jaw kegel shoulders core exercise isometric out the wazoo and he's really bad about this really bad and he likes to be on the phone when he drives from point a to point b yes bill those full 15 minutes so who called me at the beginning of the drive
And he wants to keep me on until the very end where he can hang up the phone, turn off his car and walk out and walk into his appointment.
sometimes like i'm in he's i've been on the phone so then i'm like into the conversation he wants to abruptly end it but he's a phone he's a user he uses people on the phone for entertainment right you're entertaining him from point a to point b giving him something to do with this time here's i hate when somebody calls you out on your closing language one of my kids does that to me when i'm like
Okay. Right. He's like, oh, so you're, you're done talking to me. You're bored with me. And I've just gotten to the point now. I'm like, yeah, I am. I am done. We've, we've covered it all.
I go, yeah, we're, we're landing the plane. This is, we're wrapping up. We're done. You know, I'm, I don't want to hurt your feelings. That's not what this is about, but we need to get, we need to end the phone call now. It's ending now. And I think that that's, if you can't tell your family and your friends that, then who can you tell? Yeah.
And I would even say, I've gotten to where if I'm on the phone with something, placing a to-go order, and then they read it back, and then they have more follow-up questions, I'll just say, I need for this phone call to end right now. I'll be there. We're done. I'll just say, I need for this call to end.
If I'm on the phone with an airline and then at the end, they're like, okay, well then I'm like, are we done here? Because I need for this call to end. I need it to end right now. And I'm speaking from the eye and from my knees. Ask your therapist about that. The eye and what I need. And what I need is for this to end. To be over. Yeah. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Okay.
There is a jackhammer. And you'll probably hear it in the background outside of my apartment. And it is jackhammering and jackhammering and jackhammering and jackhammering. You hear it?
Do you hear it? I didn't hear it this morning. I did hear it a little bit earlier, but not.
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Chapter 4: What humorous anecdotes do the hosts share about family dynamics?
Yeah, but it's not always been a hypochondriac, I don't feel like.
I would say the last six, seven years, we've been really committed to the hypochondria. But you've been together for like 30. I think the hypochondria is an offshoot of the sobriety. Because addicts are so focused on themselves and their moods. Here's the deal. I'm going to go ahead and make the hypothesis now, as I always do. Hypochondria is a common symptom of sobriety.
Now we'll watch and it will show up in the internet in about a month or two. Somebody will listen and then steal all my scientific ideas and do the study on it. And then we'll find out that, yes, recovering addicts have a higher propensity to hypochondria. And I'll get no credit for any of it, but that's okay.
I'll keep my ear to the ground in recovery circles if I see an upshoot in the hypochondria.
They're there. I'm certain of it because it's just...
addiction is the most selfish disease on the planet because when they're using it's all about them using and then when they're sober it's all about their recovery it's all about them them them them and so the hypochondria just goes straight into that it's like perfect because the hypochondria is about them it's a common thing all right welcome to i've had it america's top dei podcast if you hear the um humming in the background that is a jackhammer
not to be confused with like little jackhammer maga men. I was thinking like a gyrator, not to be confused with the maga gyrator. Yeah. All right, Kylie. Hi. Hi. I've got, well, really quick, Jen, I just Googled if there's a link between hypochondria and drip addiction. Oh, that's a great question. Oh yeah. There's hits on hits on Google. This one says it's, it's an illness, anxiety in itself.
And often people with hypochondria also suffer from drug addiction. Wow. That makes perfect sense. It just, because the, the. The nature of addiction, whether you're in it actively or in recovery, is a default setting of you always operate from the position of yourself, right? The focus on self is next level from the average non-addicted person. That's fair. Yeah. Okay.
I've got a couple reviews. This one is five stars titled Good Trouble. And JBX writes, found this podcast on TikTok one day and never stopped listening. Not for the sensitive or the titty babies or the easily offended. Jennifer, I nominate you to be in charge of all interviews of government officials and pumps. You're in charge of deconstructing as many people as you can. Love y'all.
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Chapter 5: How does the conversation shift to the topic of societal pressures?
Like it didn't fit in. But my God, how much you've grown.
I'm wondering if... The willful denial, maybe instead of denial, the blanket statement I made earlier about being in my, it's willful denial.
It's willful. It's willful. If you were hooked up to a polygraph and truth serum, just your husband fuck hookers, and you said no, you would have failed it. You would have 100% failed it because you knew, because you got super defensive. I don't wanna know, I don't wanna know.
That's a reaction. There's a component in that. I really, I mean, and I'm not trying to bring everything back to religion, I know, but there's a part of that
i feel like is linked to the super religious part of my life like you only believe what you want to believe and then you deny the existence of the rest and so i feel like i don't know what to what level but to me that's interconnected so it brings me to my point of willful denial right right totally willful
That's a lot of juicy tea, but it's in our book, guys. I'm not outing this stuff. She's written about this, so it's in our book, which you can buy. Speaking of grifting, Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches, where she talks about Spanky broken crack with hookers.
I don't think the license plate. You have to listen to the podcast and read the book to get all the details.
Is the license plate, is that not in the book, Spanky? I think it's in there. It is. Can I ask why Spanky? Well, that is... What I think and what I was told is completely different. And he just put it on his license plate. Yes. It was out. He drove to the megachurch. He drove to the megachurch with the family and the kids and the license plate said Spanky.
And I hate personalized tags. I just excuse so much. Let me just tell you, this is a true story, Kylie. We would sit... in the mega church. And he would tell me, so and so's fucking around on his wife, so and so's fucking around on her husband, he would go through all of the congregants.
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Chapter 6: What are the hosts' thoughts on the concept of denial in relationships?
A little spanker, a little crack. You got this shit because people are broken. People are broken. And we project that we have to, we have this stupid give a shit that we care what other people think of our families instead of really living and being with our families.
So some people I think buy into this, well, everybody thinks we're a nice family instead of really being and enjoying and not giving a fuck what anybody else thinks, but literally enjoying and being a nice family. And what other families think of your family is none of your fucking business. That's their business.
But I think so many Americans, white, suburban, upper middle class get caught up into this if we have the appearance of being a good family, then therefore we are a good family. And it's bullshit. It's just superficial bullshit.
No, I completely agree. And that was one thing that really... like I tried to pay it forward, people with that I really didn't even know that well, would come and talk about what was going on in their marriages, because they knew a there was no way I could possibly be judgmental, based on what my life was like. And so it made they had somebody to talk to.
And that really like you pay, you gave that to me a judgment free zone of let's just talk about it and be real. And so that was, That is one of the gifts in going through all this thing is to be able to be there for another person.
Yeah, totally, totally. Because when that veneer is broken, that, oh my God, it's not perfect. Because what you're doing with that veneer is you're living in judgment. That means you're judging everybody else by the veneer of their family. And once that veneer is broken, then you need to go to somebody that's judgment free.
That's like, look, man, we're all fucking broken behind every... I always think when I drive through like nice neighborhoods, I always think behind every single one of these doors, right?
are just secrets and and listen i think generally people can be happy i think that mega church culture white upper middle class mega church culture is a really specific broken culture these are the people that turn out in droves to vote for to triple trump
And I think they have, there's a combination of a culty religion, evangelical Christianity, combined with like this capitalism, combined with appearance culture. You know, like if we look good and if we do matching Christmas pajama pictures, then we're going to be fine.
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Chapter 7: How do the hosts conclude their thoughts on leadership and responsibility?
I mean, I would love for it to be a woman. Listen, I'd take a dead pig right now. If the dead pig had the leadership skills of Big Fat the Corgi.
Yeah. Fuck, we'd take fucking Corgi. We'd take Big Fat over here.
Lead us out. Just these dogs, fucking Corgi showing more leadership than any fucking American politician right now. Look at that. Look at Big Fat. Look at Big Fat. Look at the compassion, the leadership, the commitment, the dedication, PAC leader. Where are you, fucking Hakeem and Chuckles? Take a lesson from Big Fat. Big Fat the Corgi knows what to do, stands on business. I love that one.
All right. What else, Kylie? Okay, we have another story. The headline is, a professional cornhole player with no arms and legs has been accused of murder in Charles County. And Bridget on Twitter says, am I having a stroke? And I actually have the video of the news report. And honestly, it just gets more confusing as you learn more facts. So we're going to play it here.
Now to a bizarre story out of Charles County. Police now investigating after a professional cornhole player with no hands and no legs is accused of firing a deadly shot all while driving. We want to get out to our Homa Bash. She is live in La Plata this evening with more details. Homa.
Angie, bizarre to say the least, but before we get any further into this story, I just want to try to answer the question that so many people have right now. How did someone with no arms, no hands manage to fire a gun and allegedly kill someone?
It's early in the investigation, but there is no evidence at this point to suggest anybody else was involved in the shooting and that he acted alone on this. Now watch closely. You're looking at the man accused of murder in this case. Video from his tick tock page titled no hands, no feet shooting 9 millimeter handgun.
OK, so and he went on to shoot a passenger in his car. I did not ever learn how he drove the car and held the gun.
I was going to say you can have hand controls, but that wouldn't fix the whole problem.
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Chapter 8: How do the hosts discuss the impact of religion on personal beliefs?
Yeah, that's how fucked up America is, that even a fucking quadriplegic can commit murder. That's how good Americans are with guns, which was interesting about the Olympics, because I guess there was like a shooting thing and like we lost.
really a shooting in the olympics yeah and i'm like we lost like shouldn't we win gold gold gold gold gold for any sort of gun shooting thing yeah country we lost i don't think i don't even know if we meddled really yeah kylie look that up i will yeah i mean i would say probably one of the better things i've heard um but yeah that's crazy about the quadriplegic
It's sad too, because he went super viral when he was in that- Did he throw the cornhole with his mouth? I mean the- No, he holds it with his- He two hands it or two- Yeah, yes. And he went super viral for it. And he was kind of a star. So it's sad to see.
Driving and shooting a gun with no fingers, I will say, takes a lot of coordination that I certainly don't have. I can barely drive, which I have an update for all of the people. A few weeks ago, I was like, this guy honked at me for a mile. I fucking had it with honkers. I don't know if you remember that. Since then, I have noticed I'm getting honked at a lot.
So I must be the common denominator. So I'm going to take that habit back because clearly I am doing something that I am unaware of that is irritating the fuck out of people. And so I've really been trying to be more diligent. But like last week, it was like three different days in a row that I did something that somebody honked. I've ridden in a car with you.
And when you propose this story, I remember saying, what did you do? And you swore up and down, but I've ridden in a car with you and you're on your phone and I know you're about to say, oh my God, I'm trying to be better. But your version of being better is just responding quicker to texts. It's not texting. Yeah, no, it's bad. But no, I mean, seriously.
I've been in the car with you. You're weaving like a drunk.
I don't stay in my lane.
It's a miracle that we're live. Yeah. But in this situation, like whatever I'm doing, I'm not aware of it. So I'm trying to be super aware because I am doing something that is worth note for a lot of other drivers.
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