Sexually Transmitted Disasters
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Why is Pumps fed up with people parking badly and taking up multiple spots?
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots, brown-triots, fighters of fascism, Antifa members, keepers of the gay agenda, the very top secret club. We love you and all of the triple Trumpers. And I'm at the stage right now where I'm almost kind of like single Trumpers. If you ever voted for Trump,
even considered voting for Trump, fuck off! Yes. All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with, we have, I just, I am at the end of my fucking rope with people in their cars and their inability to park and the lack of spatial awareness. I've had it. I know I've said that before, but I've devised a whole system. Okay, here's what happened. Three times this week, I have parked like in a parking lot that's crowded, but I go park away from it. And then I get back to my car and everybody's over the line, you know, maybe just a smidge. And I'm shimmying into my car like I need like lube to lubricate myself into my car practically. That fucking pisses me off. And then I love my fucking dog school.
I love it. The people that go there, there's a big parking that you can, there's space for three or four people to park and just run their dogs in. These fuckers get in the middle and they take a four spot into a one spot because that's how bad they fucking suck. And it happened like three times this week and I fucking sat in my car and then I got out with my dog that is mean as fuck and he is like barking like crazy and I'm just looking at him. One bitch parked behind me and I couldn't get out. There are three other places. It drives me crazy. So here, I mean, like I'm in the shower last night and I'm like, I have a new plan. This is what it's going to be. I'm going to volunteer my time to be the parking police and you, I'm going to send pictures of bad parkers and you get a few demerits and then you, your insurance rates go up.
Like you do not get to live in a polite society. If you can't fucking park your car in between the lines. And if there's a four spot parking lot and you take all four because you're that stupid and, then you shouldn't even have a car. And maybe we should just completely think about revoking your driver's license. That's just my little, that's just me today. Yeah.
I mean, sharing stuff with people is difficult, even parking lots, you know? I mean, it's just, and there's just so much fuckery with people. And cars. And I don't miss not having a car. Not at all in New York. Kylie, do you miss? That's so nice. You just don't. You don't have this. The parking lot
saga. Kylie? No, I don't miss it. I will say, though, I read something that said people think people are mean in New York on the streets when you're walking because we don't have cars. And that's our road rage. isn't that interesting? I'm like, that makes sense to me. Like move, get out of the way, be on the right side. I think car behavior is a
thousand times worse. If
somebody tells me to
move, I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Let me move. Car behavior is a thousand times worse because people are kind of anonymous in their cars.
Yeah. Yeah. I agree with you. There's nothing more infuriating when you, there's, this is the worst part. There's a parking lot And you need to get in this place and it's completely full. And there's one little slot left. But a person is about six inches over
the line. And
you can't park there. And that is the one where I really just completely lose my mind. I'm like... Nobody else can park here and this parking spot is so needed. But like you, when I am driving and parking, I go the furthest far out in the parking lot that I can. I don't hunt for debutante parking at all because
I'm
just like, they can have it. They can have it. I want steps. I want to be away from all of this shit. Josh is the same way. We just park our cars, pull in the parking lot. The furthest spot out in the back is where we park. And then we go in because I can't, I can't deal with it. I want to have fewer interactions. And I think that's a key part of my serenity right now is mitigating interactions with strangers for the most part.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
Why is Pumps fed up with people parking badly and taking up multiple spots?
0:06–11:19
2
How does the crew discuss the rise of Instagram‑driven wedding overload?
11:19–21:00
3
What arguments do they make about the generational divide over no‑show vs. crew socks?
21:00–33:30
4
Why do the hosts criticize the mainstream media’s interviews with the AI actress Tilly Norwood?
33:30–44:10
5
How do they explore the problem of oversharing personal information online?
44:10–53:40
6
What is the story behind Pumps’ “crabs” diagnosis and how does it relate to college‑age STD trends?
53:40–57:36