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Chapter 1: What app solicitation freaked Angie out?
What I've had it with, I got a direct solicitation from an app on my phone asking me why I was no longer using the app. I felt freaked out. So here's exactly what happened. It was like a stalker app. So I noticed one day while we were filming, I had my phone on Do Not Disturb. I had like seven or eight calls from the same New York City number, but there were no messages.
I was like, well, that's weird. So the next day I had like four or five. Well, then the next time they called, like, so now we've done this for two days on the third day. this number calls again and I answer and I go, who is this? And they were like, oh, this is so and so app. And we were just calling about your usage. I was like, you are calling me to see why I haven't used your app.
If I haven't used your app, I don't need your app anymore. Quit calling me. And I was probably too harsh with the girl because it wasn't her fault. I've never heard of anything like that. Calling to see why you're not using an app anymore. I mean, that was like a bridge way too far.
Chapter 2: What does Jennifer think about late-stage capitalism?
That's crazy. I mean, that's just that is way too much. I just can't. There's a neediness to late stage capitalism that is blooming right now that drives me absolutely crazy. They're just so needy. Want our information. Can you join our club? Can you join our newsletter? And it's just like, I don't want to be this close to you. What I'm trying to do is limit my relationships.
I want to have limited relationships. And you're wanting to have an exclusive relationship. And I don't want any part of it. It's so annoying.
Well, and they won't let you break up with them. Like, if it's not them calling you to see why you're not using the app, then it's sending you emails. Can we get you back? Or you try to unsubscribe. And it says, what can we do to change your mind? It's like, I'm breaking up with you. We're broken up. That's it. Full stop.
All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with... the crusty unattractive white guy that reads to convicted felon Trump at his executive orders. I've just had it. He's like, so this executive order is you know, blah, blah, blah, some stupid, horrible, terrible idea. And Trump acts like it's the first time he's ever heard it. He's like, oh, that sounds pretty important.
And he signs it. And, you know, some chicken shit, something like we're changing the name of, you know, the Gulf of Mexico, something that matters zero to anybody that has any depth or intelligence. And it's like, you know, orgasm city for all the MAGA nuts. And I've just had it with that guy. I think he has a terrible job.
I'm disappointed that Dosh hasn't cut his job because I think it's unnecessary. And if we have a president that has to have everything read to him and translated to him,
I mean, I know that we are screwed beyond all measure, but the fact that he has to have people kind of guide him like a host all the time, like an MC to his presidency tells me that he's not all there mentally because they have to keep him on schedule and have somebody kind of babysit and lead every single thing. And I think it's pathetic. I think it's weak and I've had it.
No, I completely agree. When you have an interpreter for English to the US president, that's cause for alarm. But here's the thing. You've read the articles like I have that he has a really hard time reading. Like it's not, he can't pick it up. Like he has to read it over and over and over again. My guess is he probably hasn't read what these orders are. I mean, that would not surprise me.
Project 2025 rolls them out and he just signs them.
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Chapter 3: What are Angela Dawn's dating app experiences?
Angela Dawn, I like it. This is the type of content we need in Trump's America. Also, listeners, if there are any firefighters, military, or law enforcement that would like to date Angela Dawn, please email or text Kylie. Okay, next. Corey, I live a quiet and drama-free life. I enjoy reading, walking, and riding my e-scooter.
I'm not a foodie person, but like the occasional pizza, salami, and cold tomato slices. Also like thrifting and getting savings on food, et cetera.
That just tells me it's cheap. I'm out. No, no, no, no. What about the e-scooter? Didn't you say in an episode you'd had it with those? I'm sure I have because they're just everywhere, like in big cities.
Oh God, these are her Tinder matches. Okay, she matched with Jesse and he says, hi there, my name is Jesse. I'm a six foot one inch and weight 215 pounds. I'm a high value alpha male that is very driven, competitive, successful, and productive. I'm well-traveled, high emotional IQ, extremely fit and very passionate about life.
Looking for someone that's fit, smart, respectful, fun, feminine, cooperative, agreeable, inspirational, beautiful, and has a family first mentality. Sharing similar interests and values are important. No masks, no games, no cats, no libs, no smoking slash drugs, and no bad attitudes. I think you sound like the woman of his dreams.
I think I'm exactly what he needs. Hey, Kylie, put that back up there. I want to go over a few things. Okay, here we go. He's got his height and weight listed. That's a red flag. He's an alpha male, a high value alpha male. That's a huge red flag. Successful He has a high emotional intelligence, which tells me he doesn't. He thinks he does, but he doesn't, which is even worse than not having one.
He's looking for someone that's fit, smart, respectful. So I guess that means you have to ask before you can use the bathroom. Fun, feminine, cooperative, and agreeable are my two favorites.
What do you think a high value alpha male is versus just an alpha male? I don't know. That's a great question.
I'm assuming that means he has high values, high morals, high ethics, but I don't know. That's a guess.
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Chapter 4: What are the red flags in online dating profiles?
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Go to calm.com slash had it for 40% off unlimited access to Calm's entire library. That's calm.com slash had it. Okay, next up. All right, here's Harold. He says about me, how do I describe myself? Three words. Hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable. Three words? Hardworking, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable. Those are seven words. Yeah. What about the jackhammer?
Do you think that means it's a quick shot?
No, the jackhammer is intriguing. The rest of it is no. Do you think he's confessing to be a quick shot? I think he's confessing to be a gyrator. Most gyrators are quick shots.
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Chapter 5: What unique dating profiles did they come across?
I would imagine, considering you're such a size queen, he probably has a very large penis. You'd almost have to think he does, wouldn't you? I mean, you would think so if he specialized in the money shots. Right. So I don't think they're trotting out teeny weenies for the money shot. No, I wouldn't think so.
Unless it's like that kind of video. What do you mean? Like a teeny weenie video? Haven't we talked about this before that they have little weenie porn sites?
Haven't we? Or did I make that up? I think we had Kylie get on Pornhub and she found it. Yeah. Okay, next. Jonathan, looking for my lovely ever after must be blonde or brunette, be fit and toned, go to the gym more than four times weekly, but no more than five foot 11 inch and no less than five foot four in height. Be available at all times. Give good head. Be able to cook and clean.
Devote as much as your time to me as possible. Have a steady income, more than $70,000 annually. Have own apartment that I can crash at occasionally. If you fit these criteria, swipe right. If not, settle for it. I will not settle for anything less. Also not interested in BBWs and single moms. What's a BBW?
It stands for big, beautiful woman.
Oh. So like chubby or like tall? Both? Like thick. Thick. Yeah. Okay. Here's the deal. This guy must... wants somebody to cook and clean, support his ass, live in their apartment, go fuck yourself. I mean, what a dick. I gotta hate him.
Yeah. What about give, get ahead? And he just puts it right out there.
I mean, that part I at least have like, okay, like all these other men are pussy funny, right? I want a long-term relationship. I want to hold you in my arms and tell you I love you. Like you can imagine all the bullshit. Really, they just want a good blowjob. So
you know that was the only thing about it that i was like okay yeah everything else was just awful okay next up all right this person's bio says i'm looking for a woman with conservative values pro-life 2a and liberal please be five foot two to five foot six 105 pounds to 115 pounds 32B to 32C, size 12 to 16 waist and size 6 to 7 feet. Be fun, but down to earth.
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Chapter 6: How do they react to outrageous dating preferences?
Chapter 7: What is the significance of Angela Dawn's dating profile?
That just tells me it's cheap. I'm out. No, no, no, no. What about the e-scooter? Didn't you say in an episode you'd had it with those? I'm sure I have because they're just everywhere, like in big cities.
Oh God, these are her Tinder matches. Okay, she matched with Jesse and he says, hi there, my name is Jesse. I'm a six foot one inch and weight 215 pounds. I'm a high value alpha male that is very driven, competitive, successful, and productive. I'm well-traveled, high emotional IQ, extremely fit and very passionate about life.
Looking for someone that's fit, smart, respectful, fun, feminine, cooperative, agreeable, inspirational, beautiful, and has a family first mentality. Sharing similar interests and values are important. No masks, no games, no cats, no libs, no smoking slash drugs, and no bad attitudes. I think you sound like the woman of his dreams.
I think I'm exactly what he needs. Hey, Kylie, put that back up there. I want to go over a few things. Okay, here we go. He's got his height and weight listed. That's a red flag. He's an alpha male, a high value alpha male. That's a huge red flag. Successful He has a high emotional intelligence, which tells me he doesn't. He thinks he does, but he doesn't, which is even worse than not having one.
He's looking for someone that's fit, smart, respectful. So I guess that means you have to ask before you can use the bathroom. Fun, feminine, cooperative, and agreeable are my two favorites.
What do you think a high value alpha male is versus just an alpha male? I don't know. That's a great question.
I'm assuming that means he has high values, high morals, high ethics, but I don't know. That's a guess.
Oh, that's probably right. That's probably right. Okay. The next one is Trey. He says, a good time is always welcome. So come with it. Got boats and horses. You tell me which one you want to ride. No fat bitches allowed.
You know what I'd love to know? Who are the people that respond to these ads? I mean, who are the people that are like, that's my guy? I believe one of them is Angela Dawn. I'm a real person.
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Chapter 8: What are the thoughts on dating in Trump's America?
Agree. And people are trying to catch your eye.
Do you want to have any input over your bio and stuff?
No, because I'm, I mean, no, I would never do, I would never put myself on a dating site.
Never, ever, ever. Let me ask you one more question. Okay. What if there was a dating site for men in uniform, like firemen, policemen? I think you mentioned the Marines earlier that you were rather turned on by the Marine Corps. I mean, I don't care though. Air Force, you're turned on by the Air Force, Army, Navy? Yeah, sure. Yeah, I like all this.
Tyler, is there a dating site for men in uniforms? Yes.
Right now I'm looking at, there's a website called Military Cupid to meet single military guys. And there's also MD Date to meet doctors.
I think we've got probably a lot of lying on that site, if I'm guessing. I mean, a lot of these things. But I mean, I'm kind of disturbed about all the controlling men that are looking for a single woman with no children to cook and clean their house that's a size zero. That's the ideal, I guess.
I mean, I think Kylie's just plucked a high concentration of them. But I think in Trump's America, we're all abundantly aware. pumps. And I know you like to pretend like it's not out there, but we're abundantly aware that this quote unquote alpha male movement is a big problem. It's a huge, huge problem. All right. Well, thank you for joining us today.
Next week, we'll be back together in studio and listen to our other podcast, IHIP News. Check us out on Substack, join our Patreon, buy some merch, pre-order our book, Pumps Tell Them.
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