Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.TV and now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
If you want to check out Tony Hinchcliffe's website, go to TonyHinchcliffe.com. everything Golden Pony, including his tour dates, at TonyHinchcliffe.com.
If you want to check out the Sunset Strip or get some Death Squad merch, go to DeathSquad.tv. And now, here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Who's ready to start the best episode of Kill Tony of all time? Ladies and gentlemen, introducing... Shane Gillis! Joe Rogan!
Andrew Schultz! Steve Attell! Jeffrey Ross! What's in the bowl, bitch? Joey Diaz! I want to see you do coke and open those eyes up. I owe you a blowjob. I don't care. I'm gonna do it. We got pizza!
It's delicious! USA! USA! USA!
Is it possible to eat it with our butt?
What are you gonna do now? Kill Tony Live from Madison Square Garden is now available. Watch it now before it gets edited down. Go to killtonylive.com.
Hey, this is Redbeck coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hatch.
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Chapter 2: Who are the featured guests in tonight's episode?
Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives tonight, huh? Yippee! And here we go. It is indeed the number one live podcast in the world. How are you guys doing tonight? This is Kill Tony, brought to you by ExpressVPN and Shopify. How about a hand for Red Band, everybody? And how about one more time for the best damn band in the land? Wow.
Joining us on the violin, that's Christina Steele, ladies and gentlemen. Nick Rothaus on extra percussion. That's the great Michael Gonzalez. Matt Muehling on the electric guitar. As always, John Dees on the keys. And of course, Dee Madness on the bass guitar tonight. Huge show planned for you. Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible.
The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.
You guys ready to start tonight's episode? You know, I just love this show because you never know what kind of a melting pot of guests you're gonna get. Tonight is just a perfect little stew. Three unbelievably entertaining human beings. Ladies and gentlemen, your guests tonight are Jordan Peterson, Tyler Fisher, and Kim Condon. Oh, my God! Jordan Peterson! Tyler Fisher! Kim Congdon!
Make some noise for our guests tonight! Oh, yeah! We're gonna watch some damn stand-up comedy tonight with Jordan Peterson, Tyler Fisher, and Kim Congdon. Kim started on the show 11 years ago, the first regular, writing and performing a new minute 11 goddamn years ago. How about a hand for Kim, everybody? Thank you. She just moved to Austin, Texas this week. We got another one.
Another Austinite, ladies and gentlemen, was in New York for a long time. Brand new special, the election special out on YouTube right now. Also just moved to Austin, Texas. Another one of the funniest human beings in the world. You guys are going to know all about it real soon. This is the great Tyler Fisher, everybody.
And one of the great minds of our time, absolute genius, starting his own university. You can't even make this up. First guest we've ever had on this show in 11 years that has a university coming out. The Peterson Academy. Yes, the Peterson Academy is coming soon. It's like out now. And his book, November 12th, We Who Wrestle With God. Jordan Peterson is here, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
So, you know, we're gonna talk to some comedians tonight. We're gonna figure out a lot. This is gonna be both a smart episode and a stupid episode of Kill Tony, guaranteed. I'm pumped about it. Over 250 comedians signed up for the chance to get 60 seconds on this stage. Yeah, if I pull their name out of the bucket, you know their time is up when you hear the sound of a kitten. Unbelievable.
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Chapter 3: What insights do the guests share about their experiences?
You've never eaten a vegan burger, but have you eaten a trans pussy?
Not yet. Oh, okay. Would you? You know, if the time is right.
Yes.
They're getting better. Maybe in like four years, you know. How do you know they're getting better? Are you looking them up? Are you researching them? Well, there's plenty out here, you know. Are you seeing them?
Are you tasting them? What do you mean they're getting better?
I mean, like the first one, you know, like Bruce. That one is kind of rough, but like lately. How do you know? Have you seen it? No, just in person. I mean, not in person, just on TV, you know? Like they look.
I'm talking about specifically the vagina.
Oh, no. I have not seen a vagina in person, no. A trans vagina. How about a trans vagina? I've seen regular vagina, a couple. But no, I haven't.
I don't know if I believe you. Clemente, how long have you been doing stand-up?
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Chapter 4: How does the show incorporate audience interaction?
I like tits. I like butts. He looks like he's going to try to sniper in a few months. then we will truly be, if that happens, we will be unburdened by what has been. That is for sure. Jack, congratulations. Your first time cashing in on your golden ticket. A fantastic set, a fantastic interview. Thank you so much, everybody. This is the beginning of the saga of the young Jack Shaw.
Back to the bucket we go. I do believe this is a famous character from our past. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a new minute from Karen Jones, everybody. Karen Jones, it is indeed that Karen Jones.
How crazy was that, watching Trump almost get killed? That was so insane that I was distracted watching it by how stupid the Secret Service girls looked. I watched it and thought, they are so worthless. They're doing nothing. And then I thought, if only Trump would just grab them by the pussy and then hold them up and use them as human shields. They could have looked so cool.
They could have shown us their girl power. But don't think that the government is feeling bad and is going to back down on going after Trump and the people who support him. They're still going after P. Diddy hard. They raided his house for being at the Capitol on January 6th. They did. They said that he was calling for an insurrection, going in and out of congressional offices. I was there.
They're wrong. He was going in and out of congressional orifices saying, insert erection. He was framed.
The return of Karen Jones, ladies and gentlemen. One of the wildest women in the history of the show, famously stormed the Capitol. She did indeed. Actually, we've talked, she's been on multiple times before. She ended up, by her appearance on Kill Tony, talking about storming the Capitol. Her local government came after her. Allegedly. Right, yes, allegedly.
On video and proven over and over again. Her local government came after her because of the Kill Tony episode. So you actually sacrificed some stuff sharing your story on the show. And what I love about this show is there's always different shapes and sizes of people. Karen Jones, clearly the type of lady that Jack Shaw would jerk off to.
That's what I was thinking listening. I thought, oh no, he likes older women. He's going to jerk off to me. It makes me very uncomfortable.
Yeah, I was kidding. No one's jerking off to you, Karen. No one in the world's jerking off to you.
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Chapter 5: What vehicle did the speaker acquire and why is it significant?
Ah! It's got an actual key and everything. Real shit. My last vehicle was a bike, so I'm happy. I'm having a good time. But he learned from that autistic comic how to drive, so heads up. I didn't see that nigga, but okay. Amazing. A 2003. What made you go so ā you're doing so well. Doing great. You are selling out everywhere. You're adding shows. You're hitting bonuses.
You're wildly successful.
Chapter 6: How has the speaker's success in comedy been acknowledged?
You have a great manager, great agent. You're part of a promotional machine. You're a theater act. You're selling out comedy clubs. 100%. You're far ahead of the curve. What made you go with a 2003? By the way, if you didn't notice, he started to say 20. when he was mentioning the year, but you can't say 2003. So we had to go back 20, it's a 20, it's a 2003. What made you go 2003 Acura?
Only one with the windows down. You said what? It was the only one with the windows down. I don't steal cars no more, nigga.
Chapter 7: What personal experiences influenced the speaker's journey in comedy?
I'm doing great. You can hit Tony, nigga. It's hard to make fun of a black guy when you have resting January 6th face. I'm trying.
Nah, it was, uh... I mean, I'm never really here, and I want some shit to, like, ride around. And plus, like, if I get that bitch scratched up or something, it's already fucked up already.
Bro, I don't care. You know what I'm saying? How much was it, though? $4,000. Oh, my God.
Oh, shit, bro.
You got nothing to lose. Huh? You got nothing to lose.
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Chapter 8: What are the speaker's thoughts on their family's support and their career?
Nothing to lose. I can blow that bitch up right now. He'll be happy. Yeah. I'm cool, man. Wow. That's incredible. Amazing stuff. Hell yeah. When did you find out you were funny?
I don't know. I was small. I was young. I was real little. I used to bite people all the time. People would laugh. Yeah, yeah. I wasn't even talking. I was just biting the shit out of my cousin. They were like, that nigga retarded. He better find something quick.
Do you have an Audi belly button?
No, I got any. I want one of those. I'm not that bad, all right?
Kids that bite, they have Audis.
Yeah, niggas don't make out the hood with Audi belly buttons, all right? Them niggas steal them, brother. It's true. That nigga with Audi belly button, that nigga is in prison, brother.
It's not an Audi. It's an Acura 2003. Cam, you did it again. Somehow you do it every week. I think it's one of the most interesting things to see in all of standup comedy. No other show do you get to watch somebody's growth or their fucking sustainability other than Kill Tony, and you are just a perfect specimen. Every week, you're doing it with energy, with writing, performing.
Cam Patterson, ladies and gentlemen. We found him out of the bucket. Just like we're about to do right now. Anything can happen. This is a brand new minute. We're gonna meet them all together. Make some noise for Brandon Farris, everyone. Brandon Farris.
Clearly I'm going through a midlife crisis. Because I matched everything purple. I recently shaved my beard because I got tired of being called Fred Durst. On a steady diet of hot dog water. Now I look like a Nickelodeon producer. I shaved, now I have a mustache, so every time I go near a park, I get reported on the Facebook neighborhood page. It's okay, I'm with my kids. I'm a dad.
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