R.F.K JR (Kyle Dunnigan), Ari Shaffir, William Montgomery, Ari Matti, Kam Patterson, Hans Kim, D Madness, Michael A. Gonzales, Jon Deas, Matthew Muehling, Joe White, Kristie Nova, Yoni, Troy Conrad, Tony Hinchcliffe, Brian Redban - RECORDED– 12/09/2024 TONY HINCHCLIFFE @TONYHINCHCLIFE TONYHINCHCLIFFE.COM BRIAN REDBAN @REDBAN DEATHSQUAD.TV SUNSETSTRIPATX.COM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the introduction to the podcast?
you
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out ShopSquad.tv for Death Squad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.tv.
And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
The uncensored live stream of two nights here from Austin, Texas, December 30th and 31st. You can snuggle up in the cold with your loved ones or all by yourself or with a bottle of tequila or whatever you're into in this crazy world.
Chapter 2: What special announcements are made for upcoming shows?
snuggle up stay warm december 30th and 31st with the completely uncensored kill tony's live from the heb center in austin texas this is a new super annual amazing event it is our biggest two-night event of the year and we're super excited about it it is on sale now kill tony live.com get it for your loved ones get it for yourself love it or hate it live december 30th and 31st
We are sharp. Hey, this is Brad Pitt coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Keanu Doughty. Give it up for Tony Hatchcock!
Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? Thanks so much for Bryan Red Band, ladies and gentlemen. Keep it going for the best damn band in all the land, that's the Kill Tony Band. The great Michael Gonzalez on the drums, Fernando Castillo, Raul Vallejo, and Carlos Sosa on the horns.
Matt Muehling on the electric guitar, John Dees on the keys, and the great and powerful Dee Madness on the bass guitar, everybody. Having fun in here tonight. Feels electric. Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible.
The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.
Are you guys ready to start tonight's episode? Well, here we go. This is going to be fun. Ladies and gentlemen, we have one guest tonight and one guest only, and I couldn't be more excited about it. One of my favorite human beings on planet Earth, one of the funniest people I know. Ladies and gentlemen, make some noise for the great, the powerful. This is RFK Jr. All right.
Great to see you, Tony. I'm so glad you're here, RFK Jr. You're one of my favorite people.
I should probably say that I can't... I can't stay too long. I have a German shepherd slow roasting on my grill that I have to tend to. But I'll be here for most of the show.
Yeah.
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Chapter 3: Who is the guest of the night?
They're actual professional musicians. So if you just tell them.
So it's, man, what's the style? It's just, it starts on G, the one, the four, the five. And then that.
God, you're turning us all into lesbians right now. This is so incredible.
It's a slow song. Yeah, if you got a guitar, I could play it for you.
Yeah, there's a guest guitar if you want to play it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, we do have the guest guitar. There's the lovely Heidi. Man, I literally... With a guitar. We're going to plug it on in. You got to put it on. This is incredible. It reminds me of Colt. Colt, this is like you. Colt, come up here. Stand next to this guy. Take your hoodie and your hat off real quick. We're going to do a little experiment. See which one is which.
Yeah, give me some of that Colt music. Look at that, everybody. Hey, look at that. Look at this. Just stand up there next to him like you guys are conjoined twins. I just want you to stand there with him. No, leave the hat off, Colt. Leave the hat off. Very good. There you go. Yeah, it's perfect. All right, here we go. That's the spirit. G to the one, to the two, to the fifth, and here we go.
Hey! Here we go. Fucking go.
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Chapter 4: What are the comedic highlights from RFK Jr.?
Well, in Telluride, it's skiing, snowboarding, whitewater rafting, mountain biking. Is that what you do? Yeah, I do all these things. But here, I've been two-stepping. Oh, really? Yeah.
You just never see blacks.
Right?
I mean, when do you...
They come for one festival in Telluride. It's called Blues and Brews and they're all on stage and we're just staring at them.
Whoa.
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. It got queer. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it close.
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. God damn it. They never let that son of a bitch play any goddamn games. There's a lot of bullies and assholes out there. If you see a reindeer, I'm going to kick him in the goddamn head.
I am having... I am having so much fun right now. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's real hard to step in alone. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Obviously, it's also hard doing comedy alone when you're you. So Simon, Simon, Simon. What's your love life like up in Telluride?
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Chapter 5: What are the experiences shared by William Montgomery?
Yeah, what did she have to say?
She wasn't even mad, nigga. She wasn't mad at all. Seems she's dating a comedian.
He's called you the N-word like five times. Unbelievable. Yeah, I think we're probably good. You want me to do something about it? No. All right. All right. Just give me the word, Tony, and I'll take care of it.
She wasn't mad. She's got a good sense of humor. Yeah, she said she loves gay guys. She loves them.
Very good. Hey, watch it, pal. All the Puerto Ricans have a great sense of humor. A little fun fact. One of the highest rankings of sense of humor of all the races. I've studied this. She has a good sense of humor, right?
Yeah, yeah. She's a good girl. She's got to be a gynecologist, man.
Yeah.
Seeing Dirty Pussy all day, you got to be able to keep your spirits high, nigga.
She keeps her shoes on the whole time, right?
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Chapter 6: What bizarre health advice does RFK Jr. give?
I didn't know any of this about you. We should grab a coffee sometime or something, Matt. Let's do it. We've been working together every Monday for years. This is absolutely wild. Six cats, you have two daughters? Yeah, man. One of them's 16.
What?
Are you fucking serious? What's your only thing? You have a... Where's your sound effect? Red band. Where's your victory sound? There it is. You have a 16-year-old cat or a daughter?
16-year-old daughter. Wow.
12.
Oh, my God. How old are the cats?
A couple of them are like eight. Wow.
That's a hundred years of pussy.
Incredible. You have a century's worth of leave your shoes on pussy at your house. Amazing. Jamie Lee Simmons. So you've been sexually active while here in Austin, Texas?
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