Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network.
This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.TV, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out ShopSquad.TV for Death Squad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.TV. And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Hey, this is Rampant coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Give it up for Tony Hitchcock!
Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? Ladies and gentlemen, and that is the best damn band in all of the land, everyone. Raul Vallejo, Fernando Castillo, Carlos Sosa, Michael Gonzalez, Nachos Belgrande.
The great Matt Muehling on the electric guitar, the leader of the band, John Dees on the keys, and the backbone, the one and the only, the notorious Dee Madness, ladies and gentlemen, on the bass. Oh, my God. What a show we are going to have tonight. We're happy to have you all.
Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible, especially ZipRecruiter, Shopify, PrizePix, and OpenPhone. But here's some more.
The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets.
You guys ready to start tonight's fucking show or what? Every single week, two of the best comedians in the world I book on this show. This week, no different. One of them has the most watched special of 2025, including... 10 specials available on YouTube. The other one is one of the original regulars of the show.
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Chapter 2: How does the episode introduce the guests?
I am wonderful. I'm doing great. Making a lot of money. Damn right. Can they do that money sign thing for me? Yeah, let's do it one more time. Thank you. We love that. Did the lights go a little bit? Do it again. Do it again, Red Band. Wow, amazing. You guys are, I love the firework edition there for no reason. Nobody asked for that. Nobody asked for that. Kim, how you feeling?
I'm doing great. Can you do the money sign, but stop it halfway?
Yes. She's coming up the ranks.
KimKongman.com for tickets. Yes.
That's right. You guys know how it works. About 300 comedians signed up for the chance to get pulled out of this bucket. They do a minute uninterrupted. You know their time is up and you hear the sound of a kitten. That means they have to wrap it up then or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear.
And then I interrupt them and we talk about their lives, about their set, about anything that might be more interesting that they possibly could talk about or anything interesting about their lives whatsoever. The whole thing's improvised. Anything can happen. You guys ready to start tonight's fucking show?
While we go wrangle the comedian from the bar next door that I just pulled out of the bucket, we are going to start with a very, very special comedian. While he's not a regular and he's not a golden ticket winner, he's been on only one time ever before, but I want to see more of him. I think everybody wants to see more of him. I kind of think he's an instant legend in my mind.
Make some noise for the long-awaited return. Kicking off tonight's show with a brand new minute, this is Sir Winston Pickles.
Anybody else relieved when a severe weather warning turns out to be just an amber alert? I've actually lost my cell phone. I accidentally put it in Malaysian airplane mode, so that's gone. I've been married twice, buried my first wife. Shallow grave in the woods. No, that's just a joke, everyone. She's under the patio. My second marriage, that ended when I found out my wife was a swinger.
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Chapter 3: What are the guests' backgrounds in comedy?
You're damn right he does. Holy shit, I was wondering what looked familiar about you. That's what it is. Absolutely incredible. Sir Winston, is there anything interesting about you that we haven't learned in any of the other parts of the two interviews that you've done?
I left England and unbeknownst to anybody, I just took off. Oh. I had a psycho bitch for a first wife and she came home from work and I'd already gone, moved to America. Just like that.
Wow. Did you ever- True story. Did you ever call her and tell her?
Nope, just left.
Wow. Good for you. Yep. Ali.
Saw chums, got out of there. If he didn't have on the makeup, he'd be a pinky blinder.
Sir Winston. That is true. Well, Sir Winston, you got tonight's show started for us. Another solid new minute, starting with some dark clown fun. I loved it. Thank you so much. Make some noise. The show has begun. Sir Winston Pickles has started it. And now we go to the bucket. Yes.
And your next or your first bucket pool of the night, as you guys know, this is where we meet somebody all together. Could be the next future star of the show. Could be a crazy person. Anything can happen. Make some noise. Your first bucket pool. One minute uninterrupted. Going to Jenny Ann, everybody. Jenny Ann starting off the bucket.
Hi everybody, my name's Jenny Anne. And I bought the sexiest car America's ever made. And no, it's not a Tesla Cybertruck. It's a Mustang convertible from 1969. Woo, yeah, probably the year some of you were born. And you're probably wondering, well, why do you have this car? Well, I wanted to attract men who like beautiful, high maintenance things over the age of 30.
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Chapter 4: What unique stories do the guests share?
What was that like? Is the earth as flat as your chest? This is Kill Tony. She has hips, though. She does have hips. Hips have been confirmed. What was NASA like, Jenny? What'd you do over there?
It was like SpaceX's daddy.
I know what NASA is. I'm asking you what you did at NASA.
I worked in the bioengineering department on a project to grow algae in space. Oh, catering. Yes. Catering for astronauts.
Yes, absolutely. Okay. All right, Jenny. And where do you live?
In Austin.
Okay. How long have you lived here?
Since 21.
2021. Okay. Where were you at before that?
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Chapter 5: What humorous exchange happens at the beginning?
All right, listen, knock, knock. Who's there? Never mind. All right. Did you see? Did you see?
Wow. Holy shit, Dave. What the fuck are you doing here, man? What would make you do this? Why would you sign up for this? I'm sorry, man.
Chapter 6: How does the discussion shift to stand-up comedy experiences?
It's bright as fuck. I can't see shit. Yeah, well, how would seeing anything? D Madness crushes back here. He literally can't see shit. Kills every single week. You're right, you're right. Biggest pop from the moment he walks out, plays like a fucking, like the devil himself. He doesn't go, sorry, off today, can't see shit. Yeah. Crushes. Meanwhile, you can see a lot.
Yes, the lights are brighter than they are in the alleyways where you're used to performing. Have you ever attempted stand-up comedy before? A couple times. I'm six months deep. Six months deep. Yeah. Okay. All right, Dave. What the fuck? Do you have a joke in six months? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a couple jokes. Do they all end in knock-knock? That's how the joke's supposed to start.
It was supposed to be knock-knock. Go ahead. Knock-knock. Fuck you. All right.
Chapter 7: What insights are shared about adopting a child?
Fuck you. Unbelievable, Dave.
Apologies, apologies. I fucked up.
You did fuck up, Dave. You did.
I got one for you. Knock, knock.
No.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ice.
I was going to say Homeland Security, but that was it.
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Chapter 8: How does the episode wrap up with reflections on growth?
Okay, where at in Houston? This little place called Philly Flats. Philly Flats. What do you make there? What do you specialize in? All kinds of stuff. Italian food, Spanish food, whatever. Okay.
Sandwiches.
Are you good at that? Yeah, I'm the shit. Okay, you know what I think you should do?
Yeah.
I think you should go back there. All right.
Fair enough. Fair enough. I fucked up. You from Houston?
Yeah. Fucking making me look bad. Yeah. Exactly. This thing. Check out the kicks though, man. They clean. Shit's terrible. Do you have lampshades on your tires, like on your car? Oh, okie dokie. Negative, yeah. I thought that was bad. That was bad. Yeah. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. You are the worst thing to happen to Houston since Katrina.
Damn.
It is incredible.
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