Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What introductions are made at the beginning of the episode?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.tv, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out ShopSquad.tv for Death Squad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.tv.
And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Hey, this is Redneck coming to you live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Give it up for Tony Hitchclap!
Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? Make some noise for Red Band, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, yeah. And how about one more time for the best damn band in all of the land, the Kill Tony Band. Raul Vallejo, Fernando Castillo, Carlos Sosa, Michael Gonzalez, and Nachos Belgrande. How about a hand for the great Sean Greenberg all the way to the end, playing guitar.
One of the best in the world, ladies and gentlemen, Marcus King is joining us. His brand new album, Darling Blue, available everywhere. Literally one of the best in the world. He just plays with us sometimes because not only is he a great musician, he has a great fucking sense of humor too. He's not like a fucking, one of these woke musicians out there just trying to pander to whatever.
This motherfucker's gonna win Grammys and he's gonna do it laughing all the way. The great John Dees on the keys, as always. The man that puts it all together. The backbone, the black bone, if you will. And right here, live in the flesh, truly the one and the only, the great and the powerful, that is Dee Madness right there. Holy shit. What a show we have for you.
It is a very, very special night. You're going to find out more about that in a second. Right now, let's find out more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible. Are you guys ready to start tonight's fucking show? Well, well, well, it is truly a special one indeed because Red Band and I are celebrating five years of living in Austin, Texas. My, how the time has flown.
Just a couple L.A. boys were living the dream, had the comedy store by the fucking balls. We were running the joint. We could have done anything we wanted, and instead we took a chance on a crazy little fucking hip rock and roll awesome-ass fucking city. And it all happened because of tonight's guest. Now, a lot of people get it twisted. They think, oh, shit, you know.
This guy owns a comedy club, so it must be this guy. But the person that actually started this gangster shit wasn't Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan was convinced to move here by one of the wisest fucking sage comedians of all time. He's been basically everybody's favorite comedian since we were 12, 13, whatever, you name it. And he really started the Austin comedy scene.
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of Ron White in the Austin comedy scene?
Oh, shit. And I fucked that girl till the morning time. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school, since father-friendly hands in the boys taught me about causticism, you know what I'm saying?
Wow.
Chivalry ain't dead, motherfucker.
Look at that. Wow. Ron White, what do you think about all this?
You know, I... I never really got you, you know? I did. But to see you really turning into a comic, man, and talking about your life and getting laughs and set up, that's really fucking encouraging, man. I think that's great. It really is. So congratulations. Thank you, buddy. Moving forward, man.
That's great. That's all all of us are going to do, move forward. Five years ago, he was the second show I ever did. The second, like, literally, I swear to God. Yeah.
Seemed like it.
Ha!
But I was telling people on the road this weekend in the car when we were in Salt Lake City, I was telling them Uncle Lazer took the ball and ran with it. He took the ticket draws that he could, went to every city, headlined the small comedy clubs, went back to those city, got the medium comedy clubs, and now you're doing the big comedy. You're just doing it, man. That's how you do it.
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Chapter 3: How did Ron White contribute to the success of the show?
You seem to be a good-looking guy that seems to have a little bit of a serial killer vibe to him. Tell us, how's your love life going?
I don't have one right now. Really? Yeah, just chilling. What's the last date you went on?
What was that like?
I just got out of a relationship. How long ago? A while ago.
What's a while to you?
Like five months.
Okay. How long was that relationship? Like a year and a half. And why did it end? Uh, no reason. Just amicable. Did you kill her?
Yeah.
What do you mean, no reason? A year and a half long relationship, there kind of has to be a reason.
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Chapter 4: What memorable stories does Ron White share about his experiences?
Life's amazing, Tony. I feel great. I feel like a million bucks. Wow. Amazing. You look like 20 bucks.
Little 20 never hurt nobody.
That's right. That's right, Fuzz. So tell us about life. What are you up to? What's your living situation? Tell the people what it's like. You've been in Austin for how long? Almost five years. And you came from? Wisconsin. And here you are. Oh, great. We got some alcoholic retards in here, that's awesome.
Yeah.
perfect yeah some cheese eating chuds in here that's what we got so tell us about your uh your life fuzz life's amazing i've got a 330 square foot studio on the east side east fifth street i'm the king of that little two block radius right there i say everything the light touches that's tony he's the king oh in that little two blocks on east fifth you don't want to go there
That's your hood? I'm the fucking king over there. Wow. Look at that. How far east is it? It's far. Is it the Middle East? It's about the Middle East. It's far. It's over there, yeah. I love it, Fuzz. Tell us about your neighborhood. What do you love about your neighborhood? Coffee shops. Oh, yeah. Coffee shops.
Yes. Whole Foods. Ooh. Target.
Let's go. Sexy women. Ooh. Yeah. Hell yeah. Keeps you in check. Absolutely. Having hot girls around. What do you like to do when you see a sexy woman?
You are so sexy. You are most beautiful princess.
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Chapter 5: What challenges does the guest face in their sex life?
Not a lot of returns, there were always scratches on the back.
stuff you know but i supplement it you know i supplement my uh my sex life a little bit with porn when i can but texas makes that very difficult there's not exactly porn down here so you got to get creative you know i uh i found something pretty interesting it was david blaine's sex tape that's good shit that's good shit you know he's having sex with a girl and she's like oh david don't come in me i'm not on the pill and he's like check your pocket
All right. Carter Fancutch. Am I saying that right? Fancutch? Fancook. Fancook. Okay, I could see how that would be. Welcome, Carter.
Chapter 6: How does the guest feel about moving to Austin?
This is your first time on the show? Yes, sir. Awesome. How long have you been doing stand-up? About eight years. Eight years. Wow. Where at? Springfield, Missouri. Moved down here a year ago.
Chapter 7: What is the guest's experience with their parents' professions?
Nice. How do you like Austin compared to Springfield, Missouri? It's a bigger town. A lot more opportunity. You know, I like it. Okay. What's a crazy thing that's happened for you in Austin, Texas so far? A lot of opportunity, a lot of fun to be had. You had a wild night or anything yet? Yeah, I had some crazy nights.
Chapter 8: How did the guest's health issues impact their comedy career?
I saw a homeless person shitting on the street yesterday.
I'm pretty sure he was just on stage. Is it at a bus stop, perhaps? Took a shit up here, too. Yeah. I love it. What ethnicity are you? You really do have a look to you. I'm a German man. The last name Fancook means pancake in German. Wow. Look at that. How do you think you ended up with the last name Pancake? I... Have to assume we fucked up a loaf of bread somewhere back in the gene pool.
I don't know. I love it. What do your parents do? What are they up to? Are they together?
No, no. Long gone on the marriage there. My mom, a radio dosimetrist, treats cancer. Okay. And then my dad was like a pharmaceutical salesperson. Then got popped smoking weed, and I guess you can't do that as a pharmaceutical salesperson.
So he bought an Airbnb, or a bed and breakfast, rather, and ran that for a while.
Now he works at a dock. A dock? Yeah, he owns a dock. Okay. Fills gas, wears jean shorts. He lives the fucking life. Yeah, that sounds like a dream. It really does. Red Band is excited about it, right? You like it? This is good. Yeah. OK. And you said your love life's like a red box. How's it been going? What exactly is going on? Why do you think you're having trouble?
Uh, it's, it's actually going okay. I'm married now.
Oh, wow. I've remedied the solution. I found a box that I can just go back to over and over again. Look at that. But yeah, no, it's good. We both travel for work and stuff. So it is, there's some dry spells, but yeah.
What does she do? Where does she travel for work?
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