Episode 618: Martin Bryant Part I - The Most Irritating Man in History
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There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started.
Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I'm crying. I'm crying because I'm too dark. God, I'm so dark. I'm dark and mysterious.
You are. Yeah, me and Trent Reznor. Hanging out. Yep. The two of you, I could not see a better duo out there having fun. Peas in a pod. Eating sliders. Batman and Robin.
Here's Trent Reznor, there's me. Hanging out. Just sitting there, just be like, hey, hey. Do you ever feel, hey, Mr. Reznor, do you ever feel like you maybe are too sad? Ever thought about adding some? Some of that greasy ass fuck. When you did that closer video, did that pig head smell? Yeah, when you said fuck me like an animal, did you mean like a horse? Or a llama? Or were you talking about a guy? the perfect drug is that heroin or vagina the perfect drug for me it's a leave because it really helps me with my joinish news mr resner come back welcome to the last podcast on the left ladies and gentlemen my name is marcus parks i'm tugging on your tunic mr resner please just let me in the clubhouse let me hang out with you i'm dark
I'm here with Trent Reznor's new best friend, Henry Zebrowski. It's me.
It's your buddy. I got that gum you like. Here you go. You want some cinnamon gum? I know it's super hard to chew, which is what you like.
And some people have called him the perfect drug. His name is Ed Larson.
That's right. I only listen to Trent Reznor because I like Atticus Finch.
Nice. Yeah.
Put them both together. That's right. That's right. Yeah. He's the guy he makes all the soundtracks with. Now I understand. Yes. Now I understand. The guy after we saw Nick Cave, I did not understand that Warren Ellis wasn't the comic book writer Warren Ellis.
I had to argue with, I don't know if you remember, but after we left the Nick Cave show in Detroit.
I might have been intoxicated.
I had to argue with you for a good two to three minutes in the Uber that the Warren Ellis that plays with Nick Cave is not the same that writes the comic books. You would not believe me. I still don't.
I mean, he looks like a prospecting wizard. That's what all comic book writers look like. Have you seen Alan Moore? He looks just like Alan Moore.
Yeah, he does look like Alan Moore, but Warren Ellis does not look like Warren Ellis.
Because you know what it is? It's the pewter rings. That's what I thought, because all comic book writers that we have met, don't tell me I'm wrong. Every comic book writer I've ever met loves giant pewter rings.
Oh, James Tynion doesn't wear pewter rings. No, but it's in his heart. Today, on Last Podcast on the Left, we're starting a new true crime story, ladies and gentlemen. We're covering one of the biggest in history. Today, we're going to be covering the Port Arthur Massacre and its perpetrator, Martin Bryant.
Yeah, best to ever do it. Is that true? No. No, no, no. He slid down the list now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if we're going to be dickheads about it, I feel like the guy from University of Texas is probably the best. Oh, you're talking about the OG. Oh, Whitman. Oh, yeah. I mean, that was like, if any of them had talent...
Okay, people can't see you do the quote-unquote.
See, now he caught it for me. And let's not say talent. Maybe we could say skill. Skill, skill, skill, skill, skill. Charles Whitman is like the Madonna of mass shooters. He started it all. You know what I mean? And he really kind of set the template. One more share.
So Martin Bryant, a.k.a. the most irritating man in history, was the perpetrator of the 1996 Port Arthur massacre on the Australian island of Tasmania, in which 23 people were wounded and 35 were killed. Using an AR-15, a semi-automatic .308, and a shotgun, Martin killed with incredible speed and utter cruelty, murdering 12 people and wounding 10 in just the first 15 seconds of the massacre. Bryant even took a hostage, and the ordeal only ended when the bed and breakfast he'd barricaded himself inside began to burn down from a fire Bryant had set himself, and the cops arrested him in the B&B's front yard naked because his clothes had been burned away.
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