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Last Podcast On The Left

Side Stories: Clavicular Criminality

01 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the online discourse around this year's March Madness of Murder?

1.111 - 13.956 Henry Zebrowski

there's no place to escape to this is the last podcast on the left side stories that's when the cannibalism started side stories yes

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19.775 - 25.307 Eddie Pence

No, I'm just talking. I knew you hadn't hit record, so I felt like I could talk about my doo-doo.

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25.849 - 26.39 Unknown

It's best.

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26.41 - 38.577 Eddie Pence

That's why I saved it. That's why I said it then. But yeah, now that you have started recording, I took a life-changing doo-doo, and my life is better now. Great. I feel great. I feel better, and I'm ready to start a show with you, my friend.

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38.557 - 61.611 Eddie Pence

you're my friend my friend henry you're my friend my friend i like you and i like champ and i like rob yes i think julie is wonderful i love natalie good i love jackie your sister i love your mother let's just not you know we don't we're not they're not here i know they're not but i'm just pronouncing my love that's good to do or like it sounds suspicious not pronouncing when we do that when men do that

62.013 - 69.845 Eddie Pence

It normally means you've done something bad. No, no, no, no. That's when people... No, that's when you're trying to explain to everyone how good of a guy you are. Well, that's the idea.

Chapter 2: What details emerged about the Armless-Legless Cornhole Champion charged with murder?

70.085 - 82.603 Eddie Pence

Or you become, like, Christian. No, this is just so I remember... I'm saying that you're my friend out loud into a microphone, so I remember to think of you that way. And the people know that then, too. Yes. And that we're not mortal enemies. No, no, no, no, no.

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82.623 - 83.004 Unknown

We're not.

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83.224 - 83.725 Eddie Pence

Not at all.

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83.905 - 84.146 Unknown

Not anymore.

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84.206 - 89.133 Eddie Pence

Why would you bring it up? I'm not your mortal enemy. You're not. I'm not. You're not. Why would you be?

Chapter 3: Why was Gypsy Rose cancelled from her influencer role?

89.313 - 98.323 Eddie Pence

I'm your friend. My... Friend. You're my... Friend. Friend. You're my friend. Friend. Friend.

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98.504 - 99.225 Unknown

Friend. Friend.

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99.566 - 104.195 Eddie Pence

And we're all friend here. We're all friend here. Yes. At Side Stories. You friend too.

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Chapter 4: What allegations led to Streamer & Influencer Clavicular's ban from Kick?

104.355 - 125.961 Eddie Pence

You friend. Me host. Yes. Henry Sabrowski. This me friend, but host... Ed Larson. I'm wearing Henry on my chest today. New merch. He's helping us with merch. New merch. He's helping us move merch. It's tighter than usual, or am I getting fat again? No, you're just... I think I'm getting fat again. I think you're wrong about sizes. What do you mean?

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Chapter 5: What mysterious disappearances are linked to the UFO community?

126.241 - 148.13 Eddie Pence

I wear extra large every day, and now I put this one on, and it's very tight. It could be a smaller one. Are you sure it's an extra large? I read the label after it was stretching out. Yeah, but I know it's hard for you to read if the words aren't, like, special of the day or, you know, value meal. Oh, man. You know, you just, like, check out, which I get. Do I have to go back to XX?

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148.15 - 153.057 Eddie Pence

Don't let me wear tiny shirts like Holden. I will. I will. No, I won't. I promise you.

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153.077 - 153.717 Unknown

You let me know.

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153.798 - 154.478 Eddie Pence

Oh, no, I'm with you.

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Chapter 6: What were the convictions against BooBoo the Clown?

154.519 - 156.782 Eddie Pence

I care about how you look. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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156.802 - 157.823 Unknown

You know what I mean? Holden's a lost cause.

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157.843 - 173.104 Eddie Pence

I try to explain to him. No, Holden's a lost cause. Holden comes in every single day, which I am proud that he goes to work here every day, and he comes to work, and he sits in his little office, and he sits in there, and he puts on his Taylor Swift cardigan. Holden has the biggest office in this place. It is the—it seems to be— Oh, we have a tiny office.

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173.124 - 186.883 Eddie Pence

The way I'll put it, it seems that— How did that happen? He is in a group office, but it seems that his presence makes him then alone. Yeah. And then he gets a private office. I have no idea how. But he, yeah.

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Chapter 7: What is the significance of the recent missing scientists?

187.123 - 202.765 Eddie Pence

There's two group offices. One office is packed. Packed with people. The other one's just him. Just holding in the corner. Because they don't want to be in there watching him. They only just watch Twitch all day. God knows what he does in there. You know what I mean? But he comes up with great ideas. And check out Bloodbath 77. It's coming out. We're about to start shooting that real soon.

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202.845 - 203.246 Eddie Pence

Yeah, man.

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203.386 - 205.369 Unknown

I got Holden a police outfit.

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Chapter 8: How does the podcast address the topic of cleaning underwear in coffee machines?

205.389 - 222.986 Eddie Pence

I asked him what his size was. He said extra large. And I looked up and down. And I was like, you know what? I'm just going to get a 2X. You're right. I'm just going to get a 2X. Oh, no, I'm taking him on a, like, this is a full sidebar, but I'm definitely going to take him on a shopping spree. Well, I took him on a shopping spree on HalloweenCostumes.com, and they, you know, they have his eyes.

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223.126 - 240.04 Eddie Pence

I want to get him different shirts, dress him better, shave his face. Get him some Bo's hocks. I would love the pretty woman, Holden. Let's do this. I think we really need to do this, and we'll bring Travis to film it. And then we should take care of Travis while we're out there, too. Oh, Travis needs a couple outfits as well.

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240.08 - 241.521 Unknown

He shaved recently.

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241.742 - 262.307 Eddie Pence

I saw it. And he really looks better this way. Yeah, no, he got rid of his neck beard. It's hard. It's hard out there because, you know, everybody's got an opinion. Everybody's got an opinion about you, especially if you put yourself... in the public sphere, right? We're seeing right now, Erica Kirk. Sad. Oh, yeah. She made that great video where she's dancing around the sparklers.

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262.347 - 285.177 Eddie Pence

You know, she was hilarious in it. No, that was black comedian Drewski. That's not her! That's not her! We also don't like Drewski here either because he's a weirdo or whatever, and I think he's got gations coming down the fucking pipe, but I will say the Drewski thing dressed as Erica Kirk was pretty great. It made me laugh very hard. His makeup team is the best team in the industry, right?

285.197 - 309.786 Eddie Pence

Her being like, my daughter didn't know the difference? That's how stupid your fucking daughter is. Yeah, like, how dumb is your daughter? God, I can't wait till her funeral. Can we do this? Her? Or the daughter? Erica Kirk. Oh, Erica Kirk. No, the daughter hasn't committed crimes yet against me. I'm afraid that she's definitely going to live longer than us. We'll see. We'll see. Who knows?

310.246 - 331.855 Eddie Pence

Who fucking knows? I think that's the thing. There's plenty of ways to skin that cat, Eddie, and we'll get to it. Yeah. But a lot of people have opinions, and one of the people that, because our audience, we love them. Mm-hmm. You guys got a lot of thoughts. And I do want to kind of come at some of the responses we got from this week's March Madness.

331.916 - 332.857 Unknown

Yeah, March Madness.

332.897 - 352.581 Eddie Pence

I mean, there's always people who are always mad. Always. And it's usually me. It's usually you. But I will say I found that like normally it does. Obviously, we intentionally cause debate. Sorry. You know, we're pretty media savvy over here. Yeah. And we figured by the time we got to the ending, people always got their opinions.

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