If sex is painful, you have options
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The working class. It's a term politicians throw around a lot these days, but do we know what it actually means? Midterm elections are coming up, and on It's Been a Minute, we discuss who these candidates are really talking about. Watch the full It's Been a Minute episode on YouTube or listen in the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Is painful sex normal? It's never normal, but there are times in life when it is more common. But painful sex is always a sign that there is something going on that needs more attention.
Hey, it's Marielle. You're listening to Life Kit. And you just heard a little bit from a conversation that reporter Andy Tagel had with Janelle Frederick. She's a pelvic floor physical therapist who specializes in care for painful sex. And she says there are a lot of reasons why you might be hurting. Stress, menopause, childbirth.
But we should not be seeing prolonged pain with intercourse or with any type of intimacy. Even an arousal can sometimes be painful. And a lot of people have pain after sex too. All of those things are not normal, even on your first time. So this is definitely a discussion that we need to start having more and more often, uh, because there's millions of couples and women and people living with the pain Because of either shame or they think that it is normal.
Of course, this is a hard topic for a lot of us to talk about.
You know, I think because we are People who typically assume sex is just perfect and normal.
Is painful sex normal and what are the common causes?
Um we grow up seeing videos of people coming home from a date and getting thrown against the wall and you just like rip their pants off and they're having sex. You don't see sexual dysfunction normalized in society. And while it is a really common problem We don't see it talked about. A lot of people feel guilty, even though it's not your fault. It's not one's fault. This is a medical condition just like any other condition, like endometriosis or fibroids or You know, menopause, it happens and there is help. And there's no shame.
On this episode of Life Kit, What to Do When Sex is Painful. Andy and Janelle talk about how to communicate with your sex partners, when to see a doctor or PT, and what exercises you can try at home to relieve the pain.
Take away one. Don't suffer in silence. Sex should not be painful. Not just before. Or during or after penetration. So if you're experiencing stinging upon entry or aching pain in the moment or cramping afterwards. Your body is trying to tell you something. And you need to speak up about it. For people who have a hard time talking about this topic with their partner, do you have any helpful starters for us?
Yeah, I would say definitely bringing it up outside of the actual act. I think people are more inclined to hear and process when those sexual hormones are not raging. And so having a conversation, uh While cuddling in bed or while going on a walk or You know, on a long commute, you know, saying, Hey, is it okay if we talk about Intimacy at this time. So it's like a planned conversation where you're saying, you know, after dinner tonight, I want to tell you. a bit more about intimacy and how I've been feeling. And then letting them know, you know, I love being intimate with you if you do, don't lie. If you do love being intimate intimate with them, letting them know I've been feeling pain. that is making it difficult for me to enjoy the moment.
You can even be a little bit more descriptive. It feels like sharp pain or I feel burning during penetration. And I haven't been able to forget about it or I haven't been able to breathe through it or whatever. And I wanna know if we can explore some other options while I start working on this or while I seek support for this because it's making it difficult for me to enjoy intimacy and I don't want to give up intimacy. So I I think that's a good way to put it. If you do Want to remain intimate with this person. But you're also acknowledging your body and the needs that your body has. Your partner for sure needs to know about it.
It sounds like any other starting it off any with any other conversation you might have as a couple, you know.
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