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Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 598 - Night Shadow (feat. Dan Soder, Chris O'Connor, Billy)

12 Feb 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What humorous anecdotes do the hosts share about their childhood experiences?

0.031 - 21.988 Billy

wild wild west ew dude ew what is that ew dude uh that is the poppy genre of a wild rap baby did you spit that onto your phone no no no i i was eating earlier and i i had it like this so maybe a little raunch dipped on that

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22.424 - 30.5 Matt McCusker

Is what it is. A little patina didn't hurt anyone. You got some raunch on your phone? Dude, it smells. It smells like raunch.

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30.861 - 35.17 Billy

Do you ever spit up that stuff that was like concentrated powder as a kid?

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35.531 - 47.551 Chris O'Connor

No. You ever spit up like a ball of just... Oh, like phlegm or what? No, it was like... I think it was like a thing that my buddy had it real bad. He had to have like surgery. It was like something wrong with his tonsils or something.

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47.571 - 57.125 Billy

But like, I think there's a period during your adolescence where you can cough up, it's just like a solid house of tartar. It's like a pocket in the back of your throat.

Chapter 2: How do the hosts discuss the challenges of adulthood and personal growth?

58.127 - 65.806 Dan Soder

Yeah, I guess it's a tonsil stone, yeah. Like a gumball machine? They smell like fucking assholes. Do they really? What is it? It's just fucking gunk?

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65.826 - 70.17 Billy

And your tonsils, it's little deposits of shit. I don't know.

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70.23 - 71.391 Dan Soder

Damn.

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71.792 - 81.601 Billy

Did you do that? Is that what's happening? It only happened once, but my buddy had it so bad he had to get surgery. You smelled it? I did smell that. Yeah, when it came up, I was like... Did he one-time it?

0

Chapter 3: What are the hosts' thoughts on health and fitness trends?

84.084 - 87.768 Dan Soder

Tied tail off? Tag and throw up.

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88.548 - 93.133 Billy

It was like an alien egg, dude. Because I smelled it. It didn't smell like anything, and I broke it, and it was like,

0

94.531 - 104.425 Dan Soder

You were a curious man. I mean, dude, if you got one of those, I got it. He did gender alter. He gender altered. He tried to poke his nipples when they were getting puffy as a boy.

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104.505 - 113.839 Billy

I know a kid who did that, but his dad had him on HGH and his nipples started lactating. What? And then he put a fucking pin in it and squeezed it. Can I tell you as a puff nipple guy?

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114.325 - 115.086 Dan Soder

That's crazy.

Chapter 4: How do the hosts react to the topic of celebrity culture?

115.707 - 134.988 Dan Soder

Listen, I've been a puffy nipple since I was a boy, but here's what you do at the public pool. You do a side tickle, get them things down. Then you look great. This gets your nipples down? You just go like, you tickle it, and you get like, yeah, hard nipples. You get nipples hard before you get in the pool. Yeah, why not? I'm not walking around with puffy nipples.

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135.448 - 153.865 Dan Soder

Puffy nipples makes you look, always, dog. Not like crazy puff, just like a little puff. And you never thought about getting rid of them? What am I, The Rock? You know The Rock had nipple surgery. Really? Yeah, when he was like Rocky Maivia and he came in, he had like big puffy nipples and then you see him a couple years later and it like looks like... Yeah, you gotta do that.

0

Chapter 5: What insights do the hosts provide about their experiences in comedy?

153.905 - 166.247 Dan Soder

Yeah, if you're a pro wrestler, you can't have... Was it that? That's a fucking disaster. That's crazy. That's like elbow pads on your tits. Yeah, you're just definitely a heel. There's nothing you can do. You have to have straps. That's straps if you're a pro wrestler.

0
0

166.908 - 168.19 Dan Soder

You in the Vader suit?

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169.993 - 179.186 Billy

Sometimes you got to get a surgery because you're, like, if you take steroids, you get, like, gyno, and, like, you get, like, fluid buildup in your nipples. Wouldn't know, like, if I'm natural, but.

0

179.727 - 183.152 Dan Soder

You are, like, if I'm natural. Matt's juiced to the gills.

183.172 - 184.414 Matt McCusker

I saw a picture of him the other day, dude.

Chapter 6: How do the hosts navigate discussions about relationships and dating?

184.434 - 191.645 Matt McCusker

He's, like, actually, like, fucking big. Looks like Jocko Willick. Dude, I saw a picture of him in the back.

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191.665 - 216.152 Dan Soder

Can't make my birthday party good. don't want to make me a call on my 40th good the uh yeah mass juice of the girls we pray for him we pray dude i hope i hope he just takes over austin when you're gone i mean you come back and there's gates built he's fully yeah that's the austin lifestyle he's juiced biohacking yeah you got to go down there get get giant with hot dog mick

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217.6 - 238.838 Dan Soder

Yeah, that's good stuff. Well, I'm glad you're here, dude. I want to settle this Austin, New York beef once and for all. It's the gayest thing. I hate it. It's like an old person with dementia. Yeah. You go, Hinchcliffe. Let's go. Let's go.

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Chapter 7: What are the hosts' opinions on recent news and pop culture events?

238.858 - 252.496 Dan Soder

The deadliest game. Yeah. Yeah, the Lemaire thing was like I didn't even know. I got told like Bush got told the towers got hit. I sat down for the regs and they whispered into my ear and I was like. He said Lemaire got attacked. Lemaire got crushed.

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252.696 - 255.139 Billy

We put his tweet at the end of our intro this week.

0

256 - 257.462 Dan Soder

Did you see it? Yeah, I listened to it.

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257.442 - 283.315 Dan Soder

no soda yeah oh my god lemare's got it is my favorite tweet msnbc brain i mean i don't know it's it's wonderful msnbc brain is crazy because now that means you also have stuck through the shifting through the through the the trans surgery that the network went through it's like that's my dead name my new network name is sa yeah he's all about that shit really i swear to god if it's on the view he agrees

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283.295 - 293.671 Dan Soder

He could be the sixth chair. Just to let you know where LaMera's brain is, my grandmother. He's the guardian. He's the guardian of the mantle.

Chapter 8: How do the hosts wrap up the episode with their final thoughts?

293.931 - 311.158 Dan Soder

He's Chimera. My grandmother, before she died, I want to say like 93 to 97, would just wake up and just blare the view at like 73 volume. That's what's happening in my house right now. I would just wake up and hear Joy Behar being like...

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311.138 - 334.783 Billy

i'm sorry he's not okay grandma's guest bedroom like what the fuck is that let me see that's me here i'll tell you alex jones might be the biggest victim of this epstein shit because like he tried and then he fell for the hillary shit and then he kept falling into epstein traps joe rogan too yeah fully concise thought

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335.101 - 354.247 Dan Soder

I can't even decipher what that means. What do you think it means? I think it's one of those things where you're gonna look at it backwards and see the pattern. I'm sure he's speaking to us strictly in code. Like listening to Led Zeppelin backwards. See, it was Dershowitz the whole time. I'm just telling you. That's high level. The only time I talk to the man now is... Maddo undercover in a suit.

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354.267 - 374.981 Dan Soder

My hair is a character. On my ring camera, I see him pick up his Grubhub. So anytime I get to talk to him, I go, put the fucking Twitter down, bro. Delete your Twitter. And he's like, okay, I will. I got some good photos of him scratching. You have a Nat Geo camera.

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375.001 - 376.062 Unknown

I do.

376.082 - 389.357 Dan Soder

Of La Mer. It is. It's like those live cameras of falcons on skyscrapers. You go, ooh, he's eating again. That's him. That's him picking up the pizza. That's so fucking funny.

390.113 - 394.379 Matt McCusker

You should put it on the local Facebook group. Has anyone seen this man at the front?

394.82 - 416.83 Dan Soder

I film him collecting his pizza. Please turn him into Austin Sasquatch. Oh, no. Oh, that's so... I make a highlight video. You gotta call him to wake him up, too. He'll order a grub hub and fall asleep. And I'll just keep checking the ring camera and be like, dude, your food's still outside. It's been outside for two hours. He's like, oh, I fell asleep.

418.16 - 422.894 Billy

You got to do a highlight video to I'm a Boss by Rick Ross and him picking up all the grub.

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