New York Interactions, The Blame Game, Traveling The World | Monday Morning Podcast 8-10-26

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Monday Morning Podcast 1h 8m 1 speaker 8 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What does Bill Burr say about his recent New York experiences and the city’s quirks?

Bill Burr 0:01
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday,
Unknown 0:06
August 10th, 2026. Six? Six?
Bill Burr 0:14
Getting sick of doing that. Oh, Bill, you've been doing it every week, you know, for the last eight months. Why, why, why, why would you stop? How are you? Sorry about no Thursday podcast. I'm sure you guys got over it. Sorry, had a little bit of a little fucking showbiz gig and it went a little longer than I thought it was gonna. I was in New York City. New
Unknown 0:36
York, New York, I wanna wake up
Bill Burr 0:42
living on top of 200 different units and smell their food and hear their fights. You don't get it, man. Man, you don't get it. You don't get it. As New Yorkers always say, you don't get it. I live there. I get it. I'd like a parking spot. I'd like to fucking be able to, you know, walk outside to a yard. Anyway, I had a great time. I love shitting on New York. It's just a fun. Somebody has to do it. You know, they're so busy fucking sucking their own dicks every once in a while. You just got to remind them. You got to remind them like, hey, you know, this is how you live in your 20s and your 30s. You don't have to do it into your 50s and 60s. Probably a lot less people move out of the city in their 50s and 60s now because of Ubers.
Bill Burr 1:47
But back in the day when you had to fight for a cab, I remember when I get in my late 30s just being like, I don't have this in me anymore. When it was raining out and you have your hand up and then some chick would just walk past you, you know, because it's a one-way street. So now she's in front of you and it's just like, oh my God. I was just, I, okay. I'm doing this for my whole fucking life. Then you got the guy in the corner selling the umbrella that was three bucks and now it's raining, so now it's ten bucks. And the first time you buy it, and the first time there's half a gust of wind, the whole fucking thing falls apart. You feel like you're in one of those cartoons. You know, like the coyote where you fucking put the umbrella up to stop the rock.
Bill Burr 2:38
Anyway, you wouldn't know. I did have a great time when I was in New York. And I did my job that I had there. And so the next day I had like a little bit of a free day. And I went to this guitar store. And I was just, of course, they didn't have any lefties. And of course, I suck at guitar, but I still like looking at them, right? So I come out of the fucking place. And dude, it's broad daylight. And I don't know where this woman came from. She was just up on me. And she had like her hand, I had sweatpants on. She was pulling on my pockets. And she was like talking like she was in Shutter Island. She's like, I don't know what she's saying, but like, you know, that all hit me at once. So I like fucking slapped her hand away like a child.
Bill Burr 3:37
You know, you get distance, you know? Slapped it away and I backed up like, the fuck are you doing? The fuck is wrong with you? And then I was checking my pockets, backing up. I'm like, you don't fucking touch people like that. And she's still going like, whatever the fuck she was saying. And then finally, there was enough distance. You know, crazy people. They don't have, they can't see too far because they're like tripping, you know? So you stepped into their fucking matrix or something. So then she sees this other guy and she starts talking to him and he put both his hands up. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She started grabbing on him. So, I don't know. You know, your adrenaline's going. You're like, what the fuck, the fuck?
Bill Burr 4:18
And I got back into my hotel room and uh i'm not gonna lie to you i was like shook up like it really bothered me um i mean she was crazy whatever she didn't have like a weapon but if like she like the fact that it was broad daylight and i was so walking on the guitar shop like wow that was like really cool like no situational awareness like was just right up if that was a dude and he wanted to stab me that boom that happens so um Didn't like that. I was like, little Billy back in the day used to fucking... Took a few of them self-defense classes. I think I need to go back. I'm out there like, I'm singing in the rain.

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