the Playoffs, Life Insurance, Being An Executor | Monday Morning Podcast 1-19-26
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What playoff game is Bill watching and why is he so upset at the start of the episode?
Hey, what's going on?
It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, January 19th, 2026. What's going on? How are ya? Oh, Jesus. Drake May, throw the fucking ball away, brother. Just throw it away.
Watching the Pats right now. End of the third quarter, 21-16. I got to do the podcast while I watch because I'm losing my fucking mind. I can't handle this. I will say this. As much as it was hard to watch the Patriots the last few years, you know, it was nice to not have to worry about having a heart attack during the playoffs because we weren't in them. They could just sit here and enjoy it and not be emotionally invested. This has been an ugly game. This has been an ugly game. Halftime. Jesus Christ, could they trash C.J. Stroud anymore? Guy threw four interceptions. No, he didn't. There were four interceptions. One of them was tipped at the line. Okay? That's not throwing an interception. That's a tipped fucking ball.
It's not like he threw it to somebody. And then another one... He fucking throws it to that 87, his tight end, whoever the fuck that guy, hits him right in the hands, and the guy tips it up in the air like he's setting somebody up for a spike in volleyball. And I'll tell you what. Oh, I'll tell you. I'll tell you right now. I will tell you what. With all of these new fucking stats out there, yaks, yards after catch, and all of this shit, like... I don't think quarterbacks... I don't think that that should go against them. When you throw it to a wide receiver and it hits them in the fucking hands. I don't mean slightly overthrown. I mean a ball that should be caught. Maybe that's why they don't do it. Because, you know, how do you decide that?
That's like, did he or did he not make a football move? Which I will get to with that fucking debacle of a call. That makeup call. I have a theory of that on that fucking Bills-Broncos game. Um... But, you know, if you throw it to your receiver, he's a professional. He's supposed to catch it. If it hits him in the hands, like, you know, you threw it on the floor, hands are fucking stone and it flies. Who is that stupid reporter with that serious look on his face during that goddamn commercial like he's actually fighting the battle with his bulletproof vest on? You know what's so dumb about a bulletproof vest? What about your head? I understand your head is a smaller target, so people aim center mass. But, you know, I always looked at that like, you know, your head is the hard drive.
All right? Your chest is sort of, you know, I know there's a lot of important shit in there.
But you can get shot in the chest and you can still... You know, stumble a few feet. You get shot in the head, that's it. It's fucking over. Why don't they have a bulletproof vest for your head? It's like motorcycle riding. You can buy a vest now that's an airbag, but nothing for your legs? It's just such, like, a corporate cunty thing to do. Like, let's get them to buy the fucking one for their torso first, and then eventually we'll get the one for their head. Although... I remember back in the day, back in the day when I was young, I'm not a kid anymore. Two fucking lunatics robbed the Bank of America in the Valley. I got a buddy of mine, you know, totally grew up here in L.A. It was the most L.A. things ever.
I was like, dude, I drove by that Bank of America where that big shootout happened back in the day. And he's like, dude, that was my bank. total fucking valley guy anyway um and that's like a catchphrase now whenever between us whenever like you know somebody brings up something that somebody or the other guy already knows about that that's what you say now dude that was my bag um anyway those guys had full body armor full body armor i always wondered
That's a flag. That's a fucking flag. There you go. There you go. Boutte interfered with.
Anyway, they had the full armor. Like, head to toe, they had the skates guards. They could block shots. They could do whatever the fuck you wanted to do. And the only way that... They ended up getting killed.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What playoff game is Bill watching and why is he so upset at the start of the episode?
0:01–5:31
2
How does Bill critique NFL replay calls and the controversial Bills–Broncos makeup call?
5:31–8:20
3
Why does Bill compare bulletproof vests and full-body armor to police militarization?
8:20–22:50
4
What are Bill’s reactions to big plays, catches, and the Patriots’ playoff run during the broadcast?
22:50–56:49
5
How does Bill describe his experience attending and tape‑watching Bruins games this season?
56:49–1:09:46
Speakers
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