Utah, I.D.'d For Coffee, The Ladder | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 3-26-26
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What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast, and I'm just checking in on you. Sorry. How's it going? How are you? I just got back from the great state of Utah, man, which if you've never been there, it's like flying into a fucking postcard. It's ridiculous. It's absolutely gorgeous. The streets are wide. You know, there's space. There's still a lot of mom and pop shit out there, even though I see the expensive apartment buildings being built by, quote, developers. It's fantastic for 24 hours. For 24 hours, it's fucking amazing. And you're sitting there going like, oh, this is why people trash California. This is why they talk about California is this and California is that.
And oh, my God, I'm so glad I live out here and I don't live in crazy California. And I was there for 24 hours before I realized that I was living in a fucking police state. I got to tell you, man, all of this hate that California gets, you know something? I can get a cup of coffee without showing my driver's license and having it scanned. I went to go get a burger.
What are the highlights of Bill's trip to Utah?
The same fucking thing, right? I go to get a burger. I'm with Club Soda Kenny. We want to get a burger. And they go, do you have an ID? I go, why? They go, we serve alcohol here. So I go, all right, well, we're not drinking. They go, well, you just have to take that. So we go to hand it. The lady takes her fucking phone to go scan the thing. I covered it up real quick. I'm like, what are you doing? She goes, oh, we have to do this. This is a law. It's such fucking bullshit. And then people try to say that was some Mormon shit. That is not some Mormon shit. That's some corporate shit and that's some government shit. We're gonna see where you are at all times. And then this fucking restaurant, what do you think they're doing with that shit that they scan?
They bundle it and they sell it. Name, address, driver's license number. Who wants it? Who has the most amount of money? They have no respect for your fucking privacy. I went to a coffee shop. I went out to get coffee at fucking 7.30 in the fucking morning. And the barista asked me for a fucking, he wants to scan my driver's license for a fucking cup of coffee. You shouldn't scan my driver's license ever. You're not a governmental agency. You're a fucking coffee shop. And let's say even if I was getting a drink, what the fuck happened to just showing you my ID proving that I was of age? Why do you have to scan it now? Why do you have to track me? So here's my question to all you fucking people out there who are trashing California.
And you guys... You're all informed. You all know your rights. You all have a fucking gun collection. You got a big truck with these bumper stickers that go, these colors don't run. And you allow that to happen in your fucking state. You're all fucking upset about fucking immigrants. And meanwhile, you can't even get a cup of coffee. I had to go to fucking Jimmy John's. Jimmy John's, that fucking shithole. Well, Jesus Christ, can I fucking do anything without bang? Everybody's doing construction. It's not that. It's a fucking leaf blower.
Why does Bill feel frustrated about ID scanning for coffee?
Anyway, I had to go to fucking Jimmy John's. I go to Jimmy John's. There's not as much meat as there used to be on the sandwich. Instead, they fill it up with all this other crap. I got the roast beef sandwich. The amount of extra shit that wasn't roast beef. Fucking, you know, four pounds of fucking lettuce. These crunchy fried fucking onions. Just trying to fill the sandwich up. I couldn't even see the roast beef. And somewhere, there is a CEO that is considered a genius. Because he figured out that fried onions were cheaper than the actual fucking lunch meat. And that would fill it up. And that saved him .02 fucking percent per sandwich. That went right into his pocket. And that cunt's sitting there on a fucking yacht.
And I'm sitting there with a mouthful of fried onions wondering where the fucking roast beef is. So anyway, how the fuck do you sit back and you accept that you have to get your fucking driver's license scanned for a bunch of corporate cunts?
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is discussed at the start of this section?
0:01–1:30
2
What are the highlights of Bill's trip to Utah?
1:30–3:36
3
Why does Bill feel frustrated about ID scanning for coffee?
3:36–17:24
4
What insights does Bill share about corporate practices?
17:24–55:02
5
What recent sports events are highlighted?
55:02–56:16
6
How does Bill describe his experience at the birthday party?
56:16–57:57
7
What are the implications of calling flight attendants 'stewardesses'?
57:57–58:47
8
What insights does Bill offer about relationship dynamics?
58:47–1:46:23
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Monday Morning Podcast
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