Love on the Spectrum: Navigating Romantic Relationships with Alexithymia-Jasmine Loo
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What is alexithymia and how does it affect romantic relationships?
Welcome to the Neurodiverse Love Podcast. I'm Mona Kay and I was married for 30 years and in that relationship for 32. We didn't find out that we were a neurodiverse couple until our 29th year of marriage. I've been divorced since twenty eighteen and together we have an amazing adult daughter who is thriving and doing fantastic. My hope is that as you navigate your relationship, That the information shared in this podcast will help you better understand the strengths, differences, and challenges you may have in your mixed neurotype relationship. If you would like to learn more about the resources I have available, I hope you will also check out my website at neurodiverseelove.com. And I also hope you will subscribe to the podcast and let me know what you like about each episode.
Thank you so much for listening to the Neurodiverse Love Podcast. Hi, Jasmine. It's really good to see you again. And thank you so much for joining me at the Neurodiverse Love Conference.
Hi Mona. Thank you so much for having me again. And apologies for the disorganization earlier. I'm really happy to be here.
Oh, I'm really glad you're here. And today we're going to talk about a topic that is really important to a lot of neurodiverse couples. In fact, probably most of the neurodiverse couples that I've met. And we're gonna talk about navigating romantic relationships with Alexathybia. And so I am going to ask you a few questions. And I know this is your jam. This is an area of your expertise. And so we'll start with maybe if you can give us an overview of what Alexathymia is. And we can pull up your slide if you'd like.
Fantastic. Sounds great. Thanks, Marina. And yes, you're absolutely right in that, you know, um, Alexithymia, it has always been a topic that um I just feel really passionate about. Um, mainly because I I was surprised at, you know, how many people even in our field didn't used to know about it. Now I think we're getting more awareness around that. And it can really be something that creates um. A lot more of a barrier in whether it's uh in close relationships or even in my work like therapy work, for example, um, if you know the other party doesn't necessarily recognize um alexithymia being a part of it. And this is especially so with um when we talk about like people who are Um, usually extremely eloquent.
Like, for example, they could even be a psychologist, you know, talking a lot about emotions and you know, working through emotions with people. But it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't have electhymia because it is something that is separate from the cognitive understanding of what emotions. are all about. So this, you know, has a lot more to do with uh a person's awareness how easily they could pick up bodily cues that suggest um they may be experiencing or going through certain emotions at much milder levels before It boils to potentially a point of concern so that uh you know we could use that uh opportunity that. that uh window of opportunity to do something uh I guess conducive to regulating our emotions so that it doesn't boil over.
So yes, um I I see that you've brought up uh the infographic I've made for Alexithymia and Thank you for that. And this is actually one that I've made um for the book. And once again, just like many moments in my life, you know, once I made this, I wonder what took me so long to make this. I should have made this a long time ago because I I just thought looking at it, I was like, this is so much easier to understand now, to explain what it really is. Um, like a lot of different uh things experiences um when it comes to neurodivergence or
How does alexithymia create communication barriers for neurodivergent couples?
um neurodiversity, you know, things are really on a spectrum and alexithymia is similar. Um it's a spectrum condition. Um you can put it that way. It's not uh in any sort of formal diagnostic criteria for any neurodivergent conditions. But um it is something that and uh you know, to be honest, research is still sadly quite lacking, but from the research that we do have currently, we know that, you know, alexithymia is a huge part of um neurodivergent conditions, but especially for autism.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is alexithymia and how does it affect romantic relationships?
0:00–4:25
2
How does alexithymia create communication barriers for neurodivergent couples?
4:25–8:53
3
What are the four components of alexithymia that impact emotional awareness?
8:53–12:47
4
How can partners identify and label their own emotions in real‑time?
12:47–17:37
5
What strategies help couples bridge the emotional‑understanding gap?
17:37–23:30
6
How can explicit communication tools improve intimacy for alexithymic partners?
23:30–27:47
7
What practical apps or exercises support emotional labeling and self‑care?
27:47–31:48
8
How can listeners get coaching or professional support from Jasmine Loo?
31:48–37:25
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D.
Lessons Learned & Lived Experiences: Mona’s Final Solo Episode
Improving Regulation & Communication-Jill Corvelli, Daniel Dashnaw, Barbara Grant & Jessie Mahoney
How is Neurodivergence Impacting Your Relationship?-Karen Doherty
Could I Really Be Autistic? Your First Steps to Self Discovery-Sarah Hendrickx
Imposter Syndrome, RSD, PDA & More-Panel Presentation from 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference
Creating Consensual Reality in Your Neurodiverse Relationship-Margaret Cocharan