Misunderstood By My Parents: Healing from the Trauma of Neurodivergent Parenting: Giji Dennard
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What is the core desire for being understood that drives the discussion?
Welcome to the Neurodiverse Love Podcast. I'm Mona Kay and I was married for 30 years and in that relationship for 32. We didn't find out that we were a neurodiverse couple until our 29th year of marriage. I've been divorced since 2018 and together we have an amazing adult daughter who is thriving and doing fantastic. My hope is that as you navigate your relationship, But the information shared in this podcast will help you better understand the strengths, differences, and challenges you may have in your mixed neurotype relationship. If you would like to learn more about the resources I have available, I hope you will also check out my website at neurodiverse love dot com. And I also hope you will subscribe to the podcast and let me know what you like about each episode.
Thank you so much for listening to the Neurodiverse Love Podcast. Hi Gigi, it's nice to see you again and thank you so much for being here at the Neurodiverse Love Conference.
Thank you, Mona. It's great to see you again. And I'm so delighted to be here today.
Yeah, I I'm really excited to hear your presentation.
And it's about the relationship with an autistic parent and the challenges that you've experienced. So I am going to step backstage. Your slides are going to come up. And then I'll return when you're done.
Awesome. Good afternoon, everyone. So My understanding is that Being understood. being heard and understood by people is really one of the core heart desires of every human being. That's whether it's loved ones or strangers. We all really have a desire to be understood. But child development becomes particularly challenged. When parents' neurodivergence repeatedly contributes to the children feeling misunderstood by their primary caretakers. Years of disconnect can create a variety of emotional and mental health dysfunction in the children. This talk will explore several of the effects of this dilemma. And then offer hope for healing. Through my three step jump start program. Now if I had a quarter. For every time I'd heard somebody say that they were misunderstood by my parents.
I could probably buy a Ferrari. So first we're just gonna talk about universally. How This phenomenon of being misunderstood by our parents. Can have significant effects on us. There's a quote here that I love by Tanya Israel. that says it's a little bit magical how much people appreciate being heard and understood. I think Tanya would agree with me that it's it's something that is so central to people's well being. You know, if you've ever seen a toddler, even. So this this need starts early. You know, I've seen toddlers. Explaining something to their parents. And getting super frustrated when the parent doesn't get it, right? Have you seen that before? I've seen that dozens of times, you know, and the kids like.
I don't understand. Whatever I'm saying is it's clear to me. I don't understand why you don't understand. You know, and it can be really frustrating for the kid. Because the kid thinks that what they're saying is really clear and ought to be understood by their parents, right? But it's interesting that conversely, feeling misunderstood can really negatively impact. Our emotional and mental health. Um, which can lead to a variety of psychological challenges. So we're gonna kind of look at three. Areas that are kind of universal no matter what types of parents you have. Um where being misunderstood can really create problems. One is in the area of self esteem and self worth. So persistent feelings of being misunderstood can really erode.
Your self confidence. It can cause you to question your worth. And your abilities. And this can in turn result in a low self-esteem and reluctance to express your true authentic self. A lot of times when parents
How does neurodivergent parenting create early misunderstandings between children and parents?
Don't or or kids perceive that their parents don't understand them. It creates this sense of what's wrong with me. You know, it's very easy for kids to internalize. from their parents who are kinda like their north star. You know, that if my parents don't understand me. Then there must be something wrong with me.
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Chapters
3 chaptersSpeakers
1 identifiedMore from Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D.
Lessons Learned & Lived Experiences: Mona’s Final Solo Episode
Improving Regulation & Communication-Jill Corvelli, Daniel Dashnaw, Barbara Grant & Jessie Mahoney
How is Neurodivergence Impacting Your Relationship?-Karen Doherty
Could I Really Be Autistic? Your First Steps to Self Discovery-Sarah Hendrickx
Imposter Syndrome, RSD, PDA & More-Panel Presentation from 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference
Creating Consensual Reality in Your Neurodiverse Relationship-Margaret Cocharan