No Such Thing As A Fish

141: No Such Thing As Ancient Roman Pictionary

25 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the wisdom of Wisden, life in an elephant's footprint and why to strive for that 'classic poo look'.

140: No Such Thing As Books For Pirate-Children

18 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ancient greek bathtubs, badgers on submarines and the logistics of Santa's Naughty and Nice List.

139: No Such Thing As A Lobster Nappy

12 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the London Podcast Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Evel Knievel's jail time, the complete history of turtle soup, and a telescop...

138: No Such Thing As Fluff Island

04 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Andy, Anna, Alex and special guest Ed Brooke-Hitching discuss left-handed snails, non-existent islands and the White House press-pit-swimming-pool.

137: No Such Thing As Churchill's Secret Parrot

28 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Andy, Anna, James and Anne discuss Coca Cola copycat companies, places where compasses don't work and the dangers of farting on a plane.

136: No Such Thing As A Wolf Diving For Clams

21 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Anna, Andy, Piers Fletcher and Justin Pollard discuss Samuel Pepys's porn stash, boiling swimming pools and a sixty-year-long life hack to owning beac...

135: No Such Thing As Queen Of Clean, The Sausage Machine

14 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss animal babysitters, supermarket laser tag, and the best party in the history of the world.

134: No Such Thing As Sauce For The King Of Sweden

07 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss virtual grouse shooting, stolen Van Gogh paintings and what happens after you w...

133: No Such Thing As Paranoid Ants

30 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ants in frogs, upside-down perception, and the best way to watch a presidential...

132: No Such Thing As A Creepy Weather Forecaster

23 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss computer-playing cars, fratricidal kookaburras and what paper was first used for.

131: No Such Thing As Walking The Life Jacket

16 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss duct tape for ducks, duck tape for ducts, Duck duct tape and ducks in ducts. And ducts.

130: No Such Thing As Train Jam

09 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss toe wrestling championships, the ghost of Arthur Conan Doyle, and trains armed with lasers.

129: No Such Thing As Jack The Stripper

02 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hummingbird capes, spacesuits for ants, and the origin of the ballpoint pen.

128: No Such Thing As A Million Dollar Bill

26 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss glow-in-the-dark fungi, presidential putters and reasons for spying your neighbours.

127: No Such Thing As 'Carry On Colliding'

19 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss man-made earthquakes, the world's least favourite font, and how this episode will end up on the moon.

126: No Such Thing As A Boy Called Blclintn

12 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss literal sexual magnetism, Olympic races for old ladies, and all the children named after Tony Blair.

125: No Such Thing As An Upside-Down Grand Prix

05 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss forte-pianos, spring-loaded hairstyles, and the not-so-gentle lemur.

124: No Such Thing As A Screaming Scream

29 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss railroad glow worms, Marx & Spencer, and kangaroos on trampolines.

123: No Such Thing As A Molten Lava Football Pitch

22 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss synchronised heartbeats, how to barbecue with lava, and the people who only read Playboy for the articles.

122: No Such Thing As A Sticky Shell Spoon

15 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss holey spoons, the speed of snow and how to get more milk from a cow.

121: No Such Thing As The Sword In The Carbon Fibre

08 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wood-sucking catfish, wizard prison, and Ancient Egyptian butchers.

120: No Such Thing As HMS Kevin

01 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Udderbelly Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss houses made for burgling, flimsy warships and graffiti in the sky.

119: No Such Thing As 4D Surgery

24 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, Anna, Andy and Steve Colgan discuss cage-reading, pigeons versus dinosaurs, and the schoolgirl spy from Devon.

118: No Such Thing As Dinner On A Spider

16 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wristwatch thermometers, cheat codes for lifts, and glow-in-the-dark vomit.

117: No Such Thing As Dr No Teeth

09 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Tim Minchin discuss performing racoons, blue hailstones, and the giant that provides constipation relief.

116: No Such Thing As Notting Mountain

02 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss prehistoric butterflies, secret power stations, and Buddhist robots.

115: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird Pilot

26 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss alarm clocks in space, ripped-off national anthems and crows holding grudges.

114: No Such Thing As A Tantrump

19 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, and filmed as a pilot episode for QI's new BBC TV series No Such Thing As The News, Dan, James, Anna and Andy dis...

113: No Such Thing As A Flycycle

13 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss underwater tailors, the overlord of all emojis, and the alphabet of the future.

112: No Such Thing As A Lego Aircraft Carrier

06 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss jet plane catapults, the Hemline Index, and the world’s most expensive toilet paper.

111: No Such Thing As Snappedy Chat

29 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss personalised number plates, political sexting and the Queen's weirdest birth...

110: No Such Thing As A Dull Post Box

22 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss underwater postboxes, easily distracted hijackers and the Disney film all about menstruat...

109: No Such Thing As A Speared Shrimp

15 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Belgian horseback fishing, flattop mountains and the world's first newspaper.

108: No Such Thing As Samurai Olaf

08 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss killer shrimps, poo-based space food, and handsome Japanese tear-wipers for hire.

107: No Such Thing As Gorillas On The Beach

01 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spagnostic pastafarians, mystery pool pooers and the world's first speech bubble.

106: No Such Thing As A Six-Tier Japanese Human Pyramid

25 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss colour-changing animals, caffeinated mushrooms and fashionable hay fever.

105: No Such Thing As Pancakes For Perverts

18 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Newport, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss tweeting chickens, litigious hyenas and peer-reviewed romantic comedies.

104: No Such Thing As A Herd Of Koalas

11 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Dave's Leicester Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss meteorwrongs, avian arsonists and the Norman Conquest of America.

103: No Such Thing As A Boa Constructor

04 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from City Varieties in Leeds, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss glass delusion, useful sphincters, and six foot tall otters.

102: No Such Thing As A Water Mortar

26 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Gulbenkian theatre in Canterbury, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss silly string, arrows in the air, frightened marmosets and the battle...

101: No Such Thing As A Giant Robot Michael Jackson

18 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Birmingham mac theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hedgehogs climbing walls, robots roaming deserts and cows wearing bras.

100: No Such Thing As A Zillion And One

12 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Corey Taylor discuss noisy silent discos, squid holograms, and a trillion seconds of porridge for breakfast.

99: No Such Thing As Bread Civilians

05 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Birmingham mac theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sexy robots, samurai hairdressers and the world's oldest drive-through.

98: No Such Thing As Planet George

29 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Snowmageddon, the most planety planet, and the world's unluckie...

97: No Such Thing As Andrew Diplodocus Carnegie

22 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and special guest Helen Arney discuss the length of a jiffy, accidental sonic booms and totally astounding, gobsmacking and singularl...

96: No Such Thing As A Touch Of Worms

15 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Chill Pill, Socrates' imaginary friend, and levitating fridges.

95: No Such Thing As A Millipede Embassy

08 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss Roman pig-dragons, cross-border sex and walking worms.

94: No Such Thing As Sexy Mucus Pajamas

01 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aircraft-building ferrets, yeti custody battles and presidentia...

93: No Such Thing As A Christmas Treenis

25 Dec 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Glad SCHREIBings we bring to you and HARKIN! We wish you a MURRAY Christmas ANNA Happy New Year! In a special festive episode, Dan, James, Anna a...

92: No Such Thing As A Frozen Chicken Haunting

18 Dec 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss coughing giraffes, naked Roman ghosts, and why we should stop p...

91: No Such Thing As Apocalypse 1988

11 Dec 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss the Double-Cross System, biblical puns, and a week with Willy the worm.

90: No Such Thing As The Brilliant Billion

04 Dec 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss Einstein's twitter account, where water comes from, and The Great Wall Of Sticky Rice.

89: No Such Thing As Utah Fried Chicken

27 Nov 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from The Junction in Cambridge, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss one-tree forests, car-henge, and death-defying ticket inspectors.

88: No Such Thing As A Moon Sausage Bullet

20 Nov 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Lyric Theatre in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss William Wordsworth's nickname, lettuce grown in space, and Van Gogh's new ear...

No Such Thing As A Fish: The One Show Special

19 Nov 2015

Contributed by Lukas

In this bonus episode recorded in the BBC's The One Show studios, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss huge holes, criminal kestrels and how to park a va...

87: No Such Thing As The Pajama Police

13 Nov 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from The North Wall Arts Centre in Oxford, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss mining for jeans, what Jesus really looked like, and the most famous ...

86: No Such Thing As Ghost Nipples

06 Nov 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and special guest Mark Mason discuss coronation attire, Ancient Egyptian pornography and competitive puddle-jumping.

85: No Such Thing As Michelangelo's Snowman

30 Oct 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Brighton Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss naughty Popes, attractive picnic tables and "fun facts" about hawks.

84: No Such Thing As A Donkumentary

23 Oct 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, Andy, Alex and special guest Dr Karl Kruszelnicki discuss dangerous ticks, millennium bugs and a newly discovered Bastard.

83: No Such Thing As A Flying Sniffer Dog

16 Oct 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Salford Lowry theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss courageous cats, extreme parking, weird awards and moths' invisibility cloaks.

82: No Such Thing As A Sentient Iceberg

09 Oct 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss ancient lost property offices, the Town Crier World Championships and how to mak...

81: No Such Thing As Jellyfish Jelly

02 Oct 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Anna, James, Alex and Anne discuss glow-in-the-dark animals, Dr Seuss’s secret war films and what happens when you Google something.

80: No Such Thing As A Mousetrap-Remote-Control

25 Sep 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss magnetic ham sandwiches, the original use for bubblewrap, and the world’s first ...

79: No Such Thing As A Sad High Five

18 Sep 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Scrabble's unlikely champion, why you shouldn't pick a fight a hairy frog & al...

78: No Such Thing As An Ugly Pair Of Eyes

11 Sep 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss trophies for trophies, Napoleon’s favourite food and the original IMDb.

77: No Such Thing As Pee-Bay

04 Sep 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the history of buttons, White House squirrel problems and sewer-powered street lam...

76: No Such Thing As Mould Juice

28 Aug 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the first ever eBay auction, poo-flavoured ice cream, and the what happened to Fle...

75: No Such Thing As Diarrhoea Drive

21 Aug 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from The Aces and Eights Bar in Tufnell Park, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss facts suggested from the audience, including blue margarine, supe...

74: No Such Thing As A Computer In The Oval Office

14 Aug 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss the early days of MI6, donkeys with WiFi, and the world's only handwritten newspaper.

73: No Such Thing As A Useless Condom

07 Aug 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss the preparations for D-Day, secret library porn, and cannibalistic cane toads.

72: No Such Thing As A Bacon Telescope

31 Jul 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the first pneumatic tubes, photosynthesising sea slugs, and the worst zoo in North Korea.

71: No Such Thing As A Somersaulting Long Jumper

24 Jul 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss humans versus horses, where to get new eyelids, and why you should never drink with Alfred Hitchcock.

70: No Such Thing As A Rat Multiborg

17 Jul 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the age old debate of ‘Nike’ versus ‘Nikey’, telepathic rats, and 90 super-gripping babies.

69: No Such Thing As The Pamplona Guinea Pig Run

10 Jul 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss less famous Last Suppers, a guinea pig gynaecologist, and a crime writer who can't read.

68: No Such Thing As A Friendly Face Fondle

03 Jul 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the famous last words, the secrets of flirting, and drinking porridge through a straw.

67: No Such Thing As The Hoo-Hah Monologues

26 Jun 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Communist Irish bars, the decline of marvellousness and a quarantine for diseased rocks.

66: No Such Thing As A Robotic Margaret Atwood

19 Jun 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Anne discuss the fate of London's bendy buses, lifts with toilets, and century-long book deals.

65: No Such Thing As A Chickenosaurus

12 Jun 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss celebrity dinosaurs, beards entering Mexico and the professor of LEGO.

64: No Such Thing As An Honest Saiga

05 Jun 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss banana bombs, disappearing lakes and a church for zombies.

63: No Such Thing As An Anti-German Sock

29 May 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Hay Literary Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the world's first novel, a Beatle as Gandalf, and the inventor of the televisio...

62: No Such Thing As The Ugly Panda

22 May 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Rufus Hound discuss the origin of The Sooty Show, an omelette-cooking tightrope walker, and the shepherds run...

61: No Such Thing As Jesus's Magic Wand

15 May 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Benjamin Franklin's massive bed, knife-wielding referees and the longest movie in the world.

60: No Such Thing As An Unenjoyable Bowel Movement

08 May 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and QI creator John Lloyd discuss Iceland's last McDonalds burger, the science of ignorance, and sea battles at Sadler's Wells....

59: No Such Thing As Old Mother Bastard

01 May 2015

Contributed by Lukas

In a special UK General Election episode, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss animal politicians, saunas in the Sinai desert, and the first 'thing' ever...

58: No Such Thing As Van Gogh The Elephant

24 Apr 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss copyrighted bum-slaps, pickpockets with chopsticks, and Louis Armstrong's passion for laxatives.

57: No Such Thing As A Hoverhorse

17 Apr 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss supersmog, horses on treadmills and impossible colours.

56: No Such Thing As A Killer Tomato

10 Apr 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss mad NASA projects, WW1 spy tactics, and an old, new enemy to all mankind.

55: No Such Thing As Samurai Nail Clippers

03 Apr 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss internet for plants, smoke jumpers and super-wet water.

54: No Such Thing As Domesticated Furniture

27 Mar 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss eccentric dinner parties, the most pointless scientific studies and what happens to tattoo...

53: No Such Thing As A 3000km Tall Statue Of Liberty

20 Mar 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss X-ray sellotape, the world's oldest chewing gum, and why you should never put Skittles up ...

52: No Such Thing As A Worthless Bucket Of Urine

13 Mar 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Episode 52: Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Tutankhamun's fashion choices, how to get ahead in a marathon, a city full of ...

51: No Such Thing As Dodecahedral Shredded Wheat

06 Mar 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Episode 51: Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the most common safe words, the lizard of Oz, and why the world's happiest man...

50: No Such Thing As Doing It Dinosaur-Style

27 Feb 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Episode 50: Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the history of striptease, Hitler-shaped kettles, how to win a goat, and Anna'...

49: No Such Thing As A Buff Panda

25 Feb 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Episode 49: A bonus episode in which Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss tea-making panda poo, competitive walking, and the world's largest boring machi...

48: No Such Thing As A Pokemon-Playing Goldfish

20 Feb 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Episode 48 - No Such Thing As A Pokemon-Playing Goldfish by The QI Elves

47: No Such Thing As A Lonely Starbucks Customer

14 Feb 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Episode 47: Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the world's most destructive golf shot, why Starbucks has round tables, and the truth about Nemo.

46: No Such Thing As An Apostle Called Scrotum

07 Feb 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Episode 46 - Dan (@schreiberland), James (@eggshaped), Andy (@andrewhunterm) and Anna (#getannaontwitter) discuss bad Harry Potter translations, how t...

45: No Such Thing As A Travelator In Ancient Rome

30 Jan 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Episode 45: Anna, James, Andy and special guest Greg Jenner discuss Von Humboldt's electrifying anal experiments, migrating limpets, and a time travel...

44: No Such Thing As A Vegan Fryup

23 Jan 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Andy, James, Anna and Anne discuss obscene pottery, seriously bad signal, an Ancient apartment block and Australia's swear box.

43: No Such Thing As The Human Cigarette

16 Jan 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Episode 43 - James, Andy, Anna and Alex discuss tiger selfies, dog-drawn prams, a cow's best friend and a dolphin's worst enemy.