No Such Thing As A Fish

179: No Such Thing As Stare-Boxing

25 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss mail-order portraits, the first ever Encyclopaedia Britannica, and the country with only five star hotels.

178: No Such Thing As A Cup Full Of Nessie

18 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss your amazing expanding liver, the land of ex-presidents, and scientists disguised as mooses...or is that meese?

177: No Such Thing As A Barking Spy

11 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the invention of crowd barriers, bombs that lecture their victims, and Volkswagen...

176: No Such Thing As A Communist Caterpillar

04 Aug 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss vomiting caterpillars, quarantined chocolate, and Russian news that's literally stored in the cloud.

175: No Such Thing As A Rice Krispie With Feelings

28 Jul 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss expert plastic sushi artists, the world's first bendy straws, and how fake dog noses help detect bombs.

174: No Such Thing As A Manta Ray

21 Jul 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss competitive tongue injuring, the popemobile for hire and Bogotan traffic mimes.

173: No Such Thing As Symphony For Sizzurp In D Minor

14 Jul 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss weather-forecasting rainbows, Mexico's artistic tax policy and the mandatory Big Book of Tennis Rules.

172: No Such Thing As A Cat-a-Cops Cartoon

07 Jul 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force for dead people, Indonesia's KFC CDs and Chinese mistress-dispellers.

171: No Such Thing As A Half-Ape Vampire

30 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the man behind human chess, Agatha Christie's untranslatable book and deceitful camemberts.

170: No Such Thing As A Love Potion For A Vole

23 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss stinking ice, smart seeds and the world's greatest fly swatters.

169: No Such Thing As Constantly Awake Beauty

16 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss synchronised blinking, the ants the size of foxes, and nocturnal apple-counting robots.

168: No Such Thing As Lord Cauldronhead

09 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

In a special episode covering the 2017 general election, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss policies regarding yetis, the underwater constituency, and ...

167: No Such Thing As Milk From A Yak

02 Jun 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the growing Tibetan butter sculpting crisis, how to email a tree, and what to do with the world's hottest chilli (hi...

166: No Such Thing As A Courgette In Your Ear

26 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chicken egg orientation, drawing on your ear drums, and the Georgian garden of celebrity trees.

165: No Such Thing As A Spider The Size Of A Sheep

19 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Wright brothers’ first flight, China’s latest speed limits, and why poo on a table may be further away than ...

164: No Such Thing As A Poo Powered Plane

11 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss second-hand spacesuits, Jeremy Corbyn's luxuriant beard, and North Korea's flying taxi service.

163: No Such Thing As Too Fast For A Fish

05 May 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest John Hodgman discuss draining the sea, why the Titanic really sunk, and how most of Britain isn't really in B...

162: No Such Thing As Catastrophic Shoelaces

28 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the problem with HMS Victory, the science behind shoelaces and the age-old question of hobnob production.

161: No Such Thing As A Magic Donkey

21 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever lie detector, a robotic Cleopatra and the world's largest exporter of false teeth.

160: No Such Thing As A Sausage Jacuzzi

13 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail spas, the world's largest porch swings, and the least practical way to wash clothes.

159: No Such Thing As An Edible Jockey

07 Apr 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss falcon sex caps, a 73-year-old superhuman swimmer, and the morning routine of a seahorse.

158: No Such Thing As A Weasel's Fridge

31 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the intricacies of Indian washing machines, ghost-hunting in GCHQ and why ferret racing is such a snooze-fest.

157: No Such Thing As High-Fiving The Beatles

24 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever high-five, an iceberg storage facility in Antarctica and how to put make-up on in space.

156: No Such Thing As A Limited Edition

17 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Dr Erica McAlister discuss sperm whale-sized sperm, real-life Home Alone security measures, and why you've never rea...

155: No Such Thing As Hurricane Schmurricane

10 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich to celebrate the third birthday of the podcast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the weirdest storm name suggesti...

154: No Such Thing As A Submarine Shepherd

03 Mar 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the UK's noisiest warships, how glow-worms go fishing and what happened to the world's first cannabis smokers.

153: No Such Thing As Mulled Wine At The Dawn Of Time

24 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aphrodisiac sorbet, non-flammable newspapers and the world's Scilliest soccer teams.

152: No Such Thing As A Sleepover With Lions

17 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss self-consuming breasts, eating lions' leftovers, and why we're thirty seconds closer to the end of the world.

151: No Such Thing As A Komodo Dragon Restaurant

10 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss garlic-flavoured chocolate bars, Komodo dragon puberty and and why you don't want to french kiss a frog.

150: No Such Thing As A Helium Filled Pufferfish

03 Feb 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the bits of Earth on the Moon, venom-swiping slugs, and when Mount Rushmore will finally be finished.

149: No Such Thing As The Train King Of Europe

27 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss boot camp for trains, celebrity camels, and why Shell send sea shells back to the sea shore.

148: No Such Thing As A Plummeting Moose

20 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss helicopter dung attacks, Sesame Street's Donald Trump and the best way to cover the smell of urine.

147: No Such Thing As Burrito Party Boy

13 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss the unluckiest politician in the world, the elephant on the River Thames, and the best way of getting invited to Bu...

146: No Such Thing As A Queen Orca

06 Jan 2017

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss sympathetic pregnancy, the world's most famous umbrellas and the surprisingly romantic life of ...

No Such Thing As A Fish - Extra Bits

30 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

A compilation episodes of bits there weren't time for in the 2016 episodes of No Such Thing As A Fish. Happy New Year!

145: No Such Thing as E.T. Part Three

23 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

A Christmas compilation episode in which Dan, James, Anna and Andy take facts from the audiences of Fish's spin-off topical news show No Such Thing As...

144: No Such Thing As Garlic Superman

16 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss historical ham sandwiches, edible passwords and why Jupiter is shrinking.

143: No Such Thing As Chariots in Space

09 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss placebo pharmacies, Britain's 17th century space program, and the robot that cheats at Rock, Paper, Scissors.

142: No Such Thing As Edward Binbag-Hands

02 Dec 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aeroplane-chasing bumblebees, spiky penises, and the weighing scales in the Oval Office.

141: No Such Thing As Ancient Roman Pictionary

25 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the wisdom of Wisden, life in an elephant's footprint and why to strive for that 'classic poo look'.

140: No Such Thing As Books For Pirate-Children

18 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ancient greek bathtubs, badgers on submarines and the logistics of Santa's Naughty and Nice List.

139: No Such Thing As A Lobster Nappy

12 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the London Podcast Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Evel Knievel's jail time, the complete history of turtle soup, and a telescop...

138: No Such Thing As Fluff Island

04 Nov 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Andy, Anna, Alex and special guest Ed Brooke-Hitching discuss left-handed snails, non-existent islands and the White House press-pit-swimming-pool.

137: No Such Thing As Churchill's Secret Parrot

28 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Andy, Anna, James and Anne discuss Coca Cola copycat companies, places where compasses don't work and the dangers of farting on a plane.

136: No Such Thing As A Wolf Diving For Clams

21 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Anna, Andy, Piers Fletcher and Justin Pollard discuss Samuel Pepys's porn stash, boiling swimming pools and a sixty-year-long life hack to owning beac...

135: No Such Thing As Queen Of Clean, The Sausage Machine

14 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss animal babysitters, supermarket laser tag, and the best party in the history of the world.

134: No Such Thing As Sauce For The King Of Sweden

07 Oct 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss virtual grouse shooting, stolen Van Gogh paintings and what happens after you w...

133: No Such Thing As Paranoid Ants

30 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ants in frogs, upside-down perception, and the best way to watch a presidential...

132: No Such Thing As A Creepy Weather Forecaster

23 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss computer-playing cars, fratricidal kookaburras and what paper was first used for.

131: No Such Thing As Walking The Life Jacket

16 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss duct tape for ducks, duck tape for ducts, Duck duct tape and ducks in ducts. And ducts.

130: No Such Thing As Train Jam

09 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss toe wrestling championships, the ghost of Arthur Conan Doyle, and trains armed with lasers.

129: No Such Thing As Jack The Stripper

02 Sep 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hummingbird capes, spacesuits for ants, and the origin of the ballpoint pen.

128: No Such Thing As A Million Dollar Bill

26 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss glow-in-the-dark fungi, presidential putters and reasons for spying your neighbours.

127: No Such Thing As 'Carry On Colliding'

19 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss man-made earthquakes, the world's least favourite font, and how this episode will end up on the moon.

126: No Such Thing As A Boy Called Blclintn

12 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss literal sexual magnetism, Olympic races for old ladies, and all the children named after Tony Blair.

125: No Such Thing As An Upside-Down Grand Prix

05 Aug 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss forte-pianos, spring-loaded hairstyles, and the not-so-gentle lemur.

124: No Such Thing As A Screaming Scream

29 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss railroad glow worms, Marx & Spencer, and kangaroos on trampolines.

123: No Such Thing As A Molten Lava Football Pitch

22 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss synchronised heartbeats, how to barbecue with lava, and the people who only read Playboy for the articles.

122: No Such Thing As A Sticky Shell Spoon

15 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss holey spoons, the speed of snow and how to get more milk from a cow.

121: No Such Thing As The Sword In The Carbon Fibre

08 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wood-sucking catfish, wizard prison, and Ancient Egyptian butchers.

120: No Such Thing As HMS Kevin

01 Jul 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Udderbelly Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss houses made for burgling, flimsy warships and graffiti in the sky.

119: No Such Thing As 4D Surgery

24 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, Anna, Andy and Steve Colgan discuss cage-reading, pigeons versus dinosaurs, and the schoolgirl spy from Devon.

118: No Such Thing As Dinner On A Spider

16 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

This week Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wristwatch thermometers, cheat codes for lifts, and glow-in-the-dark vomit.

117: No Such Thing As Dr No Teeth

09 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Tim Minchin discuss performing racoons, blue hailstones, and the giant that provides constipation relief.

116: No Such Thing As Notting Mountain

02 Jun 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss prehistoric butterflies, secret power stations, and Buddhist robots.

115: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird Pilot

26 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss alarm clocks in space, ripped-off national anthems and crows holding grudges.

114: No Such Thing As A Tantrump

19 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, and filmed as a pilot episode for QI's new BBC TV series No Such Thing As The News, Dan, James, Anna and Andy dis...

113: No Such Thing As A Flycycle

13 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss underwater tailors, the overlord of all emojis, and the alphabet of the future.

112: No Such Thing As A Lego Aircraft Carrier

06 May 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss jet plane catapults, the Hemline Index, and the world’s most expensive toilet paper.

111: No Such Thing As Snappedy Chat

29 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss personalised number plates, political sexting and the Queen's weirdest birth...

110: No Such Thing As A Dull Post Box

22 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss underwater postboxes, easily distracted hijackers and the Disney film all about menstruat...

109: No Such Thing As A Speared Shrimp

15 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Belgian horseback fishing, flattop mountains and the world's first newspaper.

108: No Such Thing As Samurai Olaf

08 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss killer shrimps, poo-based space food, and handsome Japanese tear-wipers for hire.

107: No Such Thing As Gorillas On The Beach

01 Apr 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spagnostic pastafarians, mystery pool pooers and the world's first speech bubble.

106: No Such Thing As A Six-Tier Japanese Human Pyramid

25 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss colour-changing animals, caffeinated mushrooms and fashionable hay fever.

105: No Such Thing As Pancakes For Perverts

18 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Newport, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss tweeting chickens, litigious hyenas and peer-reviewed romantic comedies.

104: No Such Thing As A Herd Of Koalas

11 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Dave's Leicester Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss meteorwrongs, avian arsonists and the Norman Conquest of America.

103: No Such Thing As A Boa Constructor

04 Mar 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from City Varieties in Leeds, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss glass delusion, useful sphincters, and six foot tall otters.

102: No Such Thing As A Water Mortar

26 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Gulbenkian theatre in Canterbury, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss silly string, arrows in the air, frightened marmosets and the battle...

101: No Such Thing As A Giant Robot Michael Jackson

18 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Birmingham mac theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hedgehogs climbing walls, robots roaming deserts and cows wearing bras.

100: No Such Thing As A Zillion And One

12 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Corey Taylor discuss noisy silent discos, squid holograms, and a trillion seconds of porridge for breakfast.

99: No Such Thing As Bread Civilians

05 Feb 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Birmingham mac theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sexy robots, samurai hairdressers and the world's oldest drive-through.

98: No Such Thing As Planet George

29 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Snowmageddon, the most planety planet, and the world's unluckie...

97: No Such Thing As Andrew Diplodocus Carnegie

22 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and special guest Helen Arney discuss the length of a jiffy, accidental sonic booms and totally astounding, gobsmacking and singularl...

96: No Such Thing As A Touch Of Worms

15 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Chill Pill, Socrates' imaginary friend, and levitating fridges.

95: No Such Thing As A Millipede Embassy

08 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss Roman pig-dragons, cross-border sex and walking worms.

94: No Such Thing As Sexy Mucus Pajamas

01 Jan 2016

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aircraft-building ferrets, yeti custody battles and presidentia...

93: No Such Thing As A Christmas Treenis

25 Dec 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Glad SCHREIBings we bring to you and HARKIN! We wish you a MURRAY Christmas ANNA Happy New Year! In a special festive episode, Dan, James, Anna a...

92: No Such Thing As A Frozen Chicken Haunting

18 Dec 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss coughing giraffes, naked Roman ghosts, and why we should stop p...

91: No Such Thing As Apocalypse 1988

11 Dec 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss the Double-Cross System, biblical puns, and a week with Willy the worm.

90: No Such Thing As The Brilliant Billion

04 Dec 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss Einstein's twitter account, where water comes from, and The Great Wall Of Sticky Rice.

89: No Such Thing As Utah Fried Chicken

27 Nov 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from The Junction in Cambridge, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss one-tree forests, car-henge, and death-defying ticket inspectors.

88: No Such Thing As A Moon Sausage Bullet

20 Nov 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Lyric Theatre in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss William Wordsworth's nickname, lettuce grown in space, and Van Gogh's new ear...

No Such Thing As A Fish: The One Show Special

19 Nov 2015

Contributed by Lukas

In this bonus episode recorded in the BBC's The One Show studios, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss huge holes, criminal kestrels and how to park a va...

87: No Such Thing As The Pajama Police

13 Nov 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from The North Wall Arts Centre in Oxford, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss mining for jeans, what Jesus really looked like, and the most famous ...

86: No Such Thing As Ghost Nipples

06 Nov 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, James, Andy and special guest Mark Mason discuss coronation attire, Ancient Egyptian pornography and competitive puddle-jumping.

85: No Such Thing As Michelangelo's Snowman

30 Oct 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Brighton Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss naughty Popes, attractive picnic tables and "fun facts" about hawks.

84: No Such Thing As A Donkumentary

23 Oct 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Dan, Andy, Alex and special guest Dr Karl Kruszelnicki discuss dangerous ticks, millennium bugs and a newly discovered Bastard.

83: No Such Thing As A Flying Sniffer Dog

16 Oct 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from the Salford Lowry theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss courageous cats, extreme parking, weird awards and moths' invisibility cloaks.

82: No Such Thing As A Sentient Iceberg

09 Oct 2015

Contributed by Lukas

Live from Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss ancient lost property offices, the Town Crier World Championships and how to mak...