On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Mel Robbins: How to Use the ‘Let Them Theory’ (A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About)
06 Jan 2025
Chapter 1: What is the ‘Let Them Theory’?
Hey, everyone. This is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
Chapter 2: What’s the difference between ‘Let Them’ and ‘Let Me’?
It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
Chapter 3: How can I stop obsessing over things I can't control?
like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
Chapter 4: How do I let difficult people be themselves?
Let's learn about all of it and then some. Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.
Chapter 5: How can I manage stress at work effectively?
45 years ago, a Virginia soul band called the Edge of Daybreak recorded their debut album, Behind Bars. Record collectors consider it a masterpiece. The band's surviving members are long out of prison, but they say they have some unfinished business. Listen to Soul Incarcerated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Chapter 6: What are the three pillars of adult friendship?
Every human being has a hardwired need to be in control of everything. There's three things in your control, Jay. What you think, what you do or don't do, and how you process your emotions. If you embrace this skill, you're going to be shocked.
Chapter 7: How do I reclaim energy wasted on others?
This is by far one of the best self-help books I've ever read. Your mind and soul are in for a treat. The queen of grounded science fact personal development, Mel Robbins.
Chapter 8: Why is it important to set boundaries with difficult people?
Work has been seen as the number one cause of stress.
You have a customer that's really rude. You lose a big account. You get passed over for something. As you notice the stress come up, Jay, you're simply going to say, let them. If you focus and try to manage things that are never going to be within your control, it only creates stress, anxiety, and frustration for you.
Imagine for every thought you had about that person, you had to pay them a dollar. That's how much energy, time and money is being wasted.
You have no idea right now how much time and energy is being wasted or drained because of other people's behavior or your expectations about how you wish things would go. This is, I think, my legacy. I think that this is the thing I was supposed to figure out and leave the world.
If you're struggling right now with things you can't control, this episode is for you. If you're someone who's struggling at work and negative people and toxic culture, this episode's for you. If you're someone who's struggling with your family members and your friends and setting boundaries, this episode's for you. So...
Mel, where I want to start is work has been seen as the number one cause of stress. You write about this in the book, in people's lives. How can the let them theory help people in the place that causes them the most stress?
It's an excellent question. So first, let me... no pun intended, let me explain the theory. So in case you haven't bumped into this online, the theory is very simple. It is a mindset tool that instantly helps you identify what's in your control and what's not in your control.
The reason why this is important is because any psychologist will tell you that if you focus and try to manage things that are never going to be within your control, it only creates stress, anxiety, and frustration for you.
When you take the context of work, there is so much inside your day-to-day life at work that is irritating, it is stressful, it is annoying, from the endless meetings and no time to get work done, to if you're somebody that is working in a retail store, you're doing shift work, you don't have control over what shifts you get, to feeling like you don't have the chance for promotion.
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