On Purpose with Jay Shetty
The #1 Question to Ask Before You End a Relationship (THIS Episode Will Give You the Clarity You Have Been Looking For!)
29 Aug 2025
When was the last time you felt genuinely happy with your partner? Do you feel more stressed or more at peace in your relationship? Today, Jay dives into one of the most draining patterns in relationships: trying to change someone who isn’t ready to change. Whether it’s a partner, friend, or family member, we often convince ourselves that if we just love harder, give more, or push in the right way, they’ll finally become the version of themselves we know they could be. Jay reminds us, people don’t change because of our hopes, our timelines, or our pain, they change when they’re ready and when the cost of staying the same finally outweighs the cost of growth. Jay dives into the psychology of why we hold on to someone’s potential, even when their actions show otherwise, often rooted in our own unmet needs or fear of being alone. He reminds us that the clearest way to see reality is to believe what people do, not what they say, and that patterns, not promises, reveal who someone truly is right now. Jay also challenges the belief that trying to change someone is an act of love, showing how it’s more often a form of control that keeps us from confronting our own discomfort. You’ll learn how to practice radical acceptance, not as giving up, but as an act of respect for yourself and the other person. Jay reveals why the most loving choice is sometimes to step back or let go entirely, showing that real change only happens in environments of shared commitment, not through pressure, persuasion, or endless patience. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to Stop Falling for Someone’s Potential How to See Patterns Instead of Promises How to Practice Radical Acceptance Without Lowering Your Standards How to Tell the Difference Between Love and Control How to Let Go Without Losing Compassion No matter where you are in your relationship journey, remember: you’re not here to be someone’s savior. You’re here to love them as they are, or love yourself enough to walk away. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe here. Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 00:00 Introduction 01:08 Can You Really Change Someone? 01:55 Patterns Tell You More Than Words Ever Will 03:35 The Illusion Of Potential 06:45 Actions Over Words 09:39 Control Isn’t Love! 12:32 The Hardest Form of Love: Radical Acceptance 18:01 Only They Can Choose to Change 21:32 Priorities Vs PreferencesSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
No persons identified in this episode.
This episode hasn't been transcribed yet
Help us prioritize this episode for transcription by upvoting it.
Popular episodes get transcribed faster
Other episodes from On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Transcribed and ready to explore now
Confidence Expert Dr. Shadé Zahrai: Feel Like You’re Not Enough? THIS Proven 4 Part Framework Will Transform Your Self-Image & Build REAL Confidence
17 Dec 2025
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Stop Chasing Emotionally Unavailable People (Listen To This To Attract a Long Term Relationship And Stop Wasting Your Time In The Wrong Ones) With Lisa Bilyeu
06 Jun 2025
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Jay’s Must-Listens: If You’re Feeling Stuck Use These 4 Methods To ACTUALLY Manifest What You Really Want (Ft. Roxi Nafousi and Dr. Tara Swart)
04 Jun 2025
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Sleep Expert Matthew Walker: Do THIS to Sleep Through The Night And Never Wake Up Tired Again
02 Jun 2025
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
Stop Chasing Love! (How to Shift Your Mindset to Start Attracting It) With Tinx
30 May 2025
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
If You’re a People Pleaser Listen to This! (Why Putting Yourself First Isn’t Selfish, It’s Necessary For Real Connection)
28 May 2025
On Purpose with Jay Shetty