Share & Goon & Tell with Desus Nice and Katie Nolan (NSFW)

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Pablo Torre Finds Out 34 min 4 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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Why are we constantly confronted by p*rn?

Katie Nolan 0:00
Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is. Are you familiar with your WikiFeet page?
Unknown 0:09
Yeah, it was a five. I think it's dropped.
Katie Nolan 0:11
You're a four, nine, seven now. Is it out of ten?
Unknown 0:14
Out of five?
Katie Nolan 0:15
Out of five?
Unknown 0:15
How f***ing dare you?
Katie Nolan 0:17
Right after this ad.
Unknown 0:24
Yo.
Yo.
Katie Nolan 0:28
Just talking about you.
Unknown 0:29
I haven't seen you in so long. Me too. I haven't seen you. Good, fine. How have you been? Good, good.
Desus Nice 0:34
It's a nice color. Thanks for coming in, man. Thanks for doing this.
Unknown 0:38
Am I here or am I here? Thanks for doing this like you're the representative of gooning and you're ready to talk about it.
Desus Nice 0:43
Oh, no.
Unknown 0:43
Thanks for doing this.
Desus Nice 0:44
It's very disturbing.
Unknown 0:45
He's the ambassador from... Halfway through that article. That is tough.
Desus Nice 0:48
It's a lot. It's tough. It is a lot.
Unknown 0:50
Katie, you want one? Yeah, why not? Oh, you don't even trust us to do that anymore.
Katie Nolan 0:55
No, they've taken that.
Unknown 0:56
That's crazy.
Katie Nolan 0:57
They take the steering wheel from me here now.
Unknown 1:00
That's crazy.
Katie Nolan 1:01
They really don't trust me.
Unknown 1:01
This is exactly what I hope for when I open a Halloween-sized Starburst. Those are the two I'm pulling for, and I got them. Don't thumbs down me. It's because you can eat them at the same time. If you're a real freaking freak like me, you take them and you twist them into like a twisty thing, and then you... Two Starbursts, Mondani's New York, you see?
Desus Nice 1:20
Starting already.
Unknown 1:21
Starting already, you guys.
Katie Nolan 1:23
Miscegenating Starbursts.
Unknown 1:25
What? Are we going to be using words like that this whole time?
Katie Nolan 1:27
Yeah, listen.
Unknown 1:28
Miscegenating.
Katie Nolan 1:29
I mean...
Pablo Torre 1:30
That's what it is, legally speaking.
Unknown 1:32
Thank you. Thank you. I burnt myself cooking.
Desus Nice 1:37
What were you cooking?
Unknown 1:39
Oh, I don't remember. I don't do it a lot, but I put my arm up against the side of the oven. You're not supposed to do that. Wouldn't recommend it.
Katie Nolan 1:46
That's a fresh wound?
Unknown 1:48
It was last week sometime.
Katie Nolan 1:49
Oh, I see it now. Last week at some point.
Desus Nice 1:52
Did you put anything on it?
Unknown 1:53
You were going to say ibuprofen.
Desus Nice 1:54
I was going to say it. It's not ibuprofen. What's the other thing? It's the...
Unknown 1:58
I know what you're talking about, but I don't.
Desus Nice 1:59
We both have gum in our mouths, too, right?
Unknown 2:00
We're both not being good at this.
Desus Nice 2:02
No, old New York is back, man. Old New York is back.

What is goon fuel and how is it used?

Desus Nice 2:05
I'm about to spit this on a sidewalk. You're a boy.
Unknown 2:07
I was drinking a beer with Kathy Hochul. That's how you say it, right?
Katie Nolan 2:10
Honestly, a pretty good hang.
Unknown 2:12
No chance.
Katie Nolan 2:12
I could see it.
Unknown 2:13
She had the jacket on. No chance.
Katie Nolan 2:15
She was dressed in her Bill's regalia. She looked like a member of Grizzota.
Unknown 2:19
I was like, let's go.
I didn't.
Unknown 2:21
I couldn't believe when she said that the, she thought, tax the rich was let's go bills. You know what? I don't think.
Desus Nice 2:28
Every now and then when you have your family together, someone says something whack and everyone just keeps talking. Yeah. And that was that. That was that. All right. All right. This might be auntie's last unsupervised visit. I do hope Curtis Lee Wastick's around, though. He's not going anywhere.
Unknown 2:43
He's been here since like... He lives in the subway, I think.
Desus Nice 2:45
I think he was like the second resident in New York. He's not going anywhere. The original Guardian Angels were raccoons, so he's just going to keep running around. They had little red berets. It was cute until it wasn't.
Unknown 2:55
It's a hell of a hat. Not seeing fashion risks like that being taken elsewhere.
Katie Nolan 3:01
Should we talk about gooning? Why not? Baby, let's goon.
Unknown 3:06
I assumed that's what you were doing.
Desus Nice 3:09
Yes.
Unknown 3:27
I assume we're here to talk about that big gooning Bible that was published. The big piece that had everybody talking about the gooning.
Katie Nolan 3:33
The greatest contribution to the Western canon in... The history of gooning literature. Great and disturbing reporting.
Desus Nice 3:39
Yes.
Unknown 3:40
Yes.
Desus Nice 3:41
It's just like when you watch National Geographic and you just find out about a world that completely exists and you need nothing about it.
Unknown 3:47
I didn't even know they made horses like that. You know, it's like I didn't even know that was happening.
Desus Nice 3:53
The toilets flush backwards. Yeah. It's that kind of thing. But now it's just like, hey, do you know everything about masturbation? Turn it on its head and throw it out because we're doing something different here.

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