"The Meanest, Most Arrogant, Obnoxious Little Brat I Have Ever Met in My Life"

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Pablo Torre Finds Out 39 min 5 speakers 6 chapters transcribed 5 months ago
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Pablo Torre 0:00
Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out, presented by eBay Live. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is. Break it down, will you please? And if you listen to our show on Apple Podcasts, you can now watch video there as well. Just update to the latest iOS, hand it over to our show page to start watching. But for right now, just a quick word from our sponsors.
Pablo Torre 0:34
I was like, all right, I'll see how it goes over. Like a fart in a submarine. Pablo, Billy, I asked Billy if he knows what he's doing and he said he did not know what we were doing today. Did you want to tell him what we're doing or you want to make it a surprise? Yeah, I don't really want to tell him. Okay. I want Billy to feel like how so many of his subjects feel when they sit down across from him when he does documentaries about them. So you may have noticed that we here at Pablo Torre Finds Out like to tackle big topics and big characters. Two of the three Emmys that we were just nominated for last week, in fact, were for our investigations into Aspiration and the Clippers, and Riley Gaines and her role in this administration.
Pablo Torre 1:20
But as much as I enjoy tackling subjects that the yes-men in sports will not touch, I also remain obsessed with little topics. and little characters. Which brings us to one very specific guest star on a seminal television sitcom that has been lodged inside of my brain for more than 35 years now. And if you, like me, grew up watching Night Court on NBC, you may remember this tiny little guest star as well. I don't mean to bother you, but would you mind signing my autograph book? Roz, make yourself useful. Get this chrome-domed freak of nature away from me.
Unknown 2:06
All right, that's it. Send for the littlest lawyer to meet the big, bad bailiff. You are the meanest, most arrogant, obnoxious little brat I have ever met in my life. You only want me around because nobody else can stand you. Well, let me tell you something. I can't stand you either. And you can take your little blackmail tape and do whatever you want with it. I have had enough. You can't talk to Billy like that. Not like that. Oh, shut up, you overpaid parrot. And you, you don't care about Billy at all.
Pablo Torre 2:38
In this episode, in case you were wondering, a child star named Billy shows up one day to shoot a television show in the same Manhattan criminal court where Night Court takes place. But the more important thing to know here is that Billy is a tyrannical a**hole.
Unknown 2:56
All you care about is keeping them happy long enough to do your stupid TV show. It goes for all of you. You're an army of yes-men.
Pablo Torre 3:06
Fairly recently, however, after more than three decades of hating this specific character, a cautionary tale for precocious children everywhere, I found out something shocking. I found out that the actor who played that child was someone whom I've known, it turns out, for years. Which meant that we could call Billy up. I mean... You crushed it. An obnoxious child actor named Billy. It was really typecast. It's rare to see a method child actor. That was the most fun because that was a show that I watched as a kid. And you could do anything you wanted on that show, but be mean to Bull. That's when the audience would immediately, you know, Bull the bailiff. They would immediately turn on you. And so, yes, I just got to take a moment to recognize that after a truly and disturbingly extensive career as a child star, which we will get back to later, Billy Corbin went on to direct some of the most entertaining documentaries ever, many of which are devoted to muckraking and accountability journalism in his hometown of Miami and at his alma mater, the University of Miami.
Pablo Torre 4:19
Meaning that Billy... Corbin is a bit of a kindred spirit. It's a PTFO. And also that he too has continued to inspire various audiences to turn on him. In real life. But I first met Billy Corbin when he was interviewing me for a 30 for 30 documentary titled Broke back in 2012. And many years before that, he had also sat down with the other allegedly unlikable friend of PTFO who's with us here today.

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