E279: Ask a Sex Therapist: Kink Icks, Spicy Pics, and Vanilla Sex
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
What's a respectful way to ask your wife for spicy pics? Is it normal to have average sex consistently and once in a while it's mind blowing?
Is it normal that clitoral stimulation can almost feel like it hurts?
What do I do if my partner has a kink that gives me the ick?
How to approach intimacy when the rest of the marriage is in a rough patch?
Carefully. Yes.
Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks Podcast. We're your hosts Vanessa
and Xander Marin.
I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.
And I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.
Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had. We are back today with another round of Ask a Sex Therapist.
W you got more questions for us. They they never stop.
The questions never stop.
Surprisingly or maybe not surprisingly.
We actually have decided a little something when it comes to pillow talks. You know, we get so many questions from our audience just on a daily basis, DMs, emails. We also on Instagram every Wednesday we do an Ask Us Anything series and we ask people for their questions. And we realize, you know, yeah, there's just literally no way for us to get through all of them because we get so many and the questions are so freaking interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, obviously we see some of the same questions over and over again, but I I feel like every day we see something new. I'm always like reading something to you like, babe, I've never heard this before. What do you think about this one?
It's one of the most fun parts of doing this with you.
Yeah, I think it's really interesting to just see what other people are going through, to see the questions that are coming up from for them. So we decided recently to try to devote more of our Pillow Talks episodes to our listener questions. I mean, I think also like you and I both grew up listening to Love Lines. Oh God, yeah. It was such an integral part of our lives, and we loved you know, we both really loved hearing the questions, hearing how Adam and Dr. Drew would respond. And then more recently, like early in our relationship, we started listening to More recently
is is funny. I was about to say next step, 'cause we were still very young when this happened.
Yeah, we started listening to the Savage Love Cast. Yeah, Dan Savage. I mean, yeah, Dan is just such an icon. He's been doing this forever. And every single one of his episodes are all listener questions too. So, you know, we have so much love for both of these shows. I think Love Line got really weird in its some of its some of his later days, but you know, it was it was foundational. You know, it was it was foundational. Both of the hosts Both of the hosts
uh evolved or changed in terms of kind of what their perspectives
are. I I mean
it's yeah, I I think like if if those two were doing Love Line still And I almost don't want to say that because I there's a part of me that wonders like, are they actually d is Love Line even in existence anymore? I think it might be in some form or another. I don't think it's Dr. Drew and Adam Karolla doing it, but
Oh no, it's it ended.
Okay. All right. Well just making sure because I feel like It w I I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't even end that long ago. But regardless. It
ended ten years ago. Okay,
never mind. All right. Ten years ago, great. I love being fact checked in real time.
It said several relaunches of the show have occurred since that time, but then March twenty five, new episodes are no longer being produced.
Yeah, no, I mean who knows if if those guys would be giving the same advice that they were back in the day based on where they're at in their lives now, but you know, whatever. That's that's not what the topic of this episode is. That was such a foundational thing for us, uh, growing up.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–4:21
2
How can I respectfully ask my partner for spicy pictures?
4:21–9:18
3
What should I do when my partner’s kink gives me the ick?
9:18–15:43
4
How can we maintain intimacy when our marriage is going through a rough patch?
15:43–23:05
5
Is it normal for most sex to be average with occasional mind‑blowing moments?
23:05–30:34
6
Why does intense clitoral stimulation sometimes feel painful and how can I fix it?
30:34–38:44
7
How do I give feedback about foreplay without hurting my partner’s feelings?
38:44–45:36
8
What are practical steps for couples to explore new foreplay techniques together?
45:36–1:01:46
Speakers
3 identifiedMore from Pillow Talks
E278: How to Get Out of a Relationship Rut: Your 4-Week Plan
E277: How to Take Your Orgasm to the Next Level with the Four Orgasm Amplifiers
E276: How Do You Turn Your Partner On? (When You've Been Together For Years)
E275: Reasonable or Ridiculous? Sex Quotas, Oral Every Time, and Dirty Talk Dealbreakers
E274: Is it Normal to Not Orgasm During Sex? We Got Attacked for Talking About This
E273: How to Try New Sex Positions Without Killing the Mood