Heyy y’all!!! 🎉✨ We’ve got a very special guest in the building today — the gorgeous and melodious Queen Naija! 🎤👑 In this heartfelt and honest episode, we dive into healing in public vs. private, how to navigate depression and prioritize mental health, and debate whether women can be soft and still taken seriously in the entertainment industry. We also get into the realities of social media trolls and of course… so much more! 💬✨ Subscribe to our Patreon @ https://www.patreon.com/pourminds SHOP POUR MINDS: https://www.pourminds.com WANT TO BOOK US? EMAIL: [email protected] SUBSCRIBE TO DREA NICOLE'S YOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/@dreanicoleee POUR INTO YOUR POD E-BOOK: https://www.pourminds.com/ SUBSCRIBE TO LEX P'S YOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/@LoveLexP SHOP DREA'S LTK: https://www.shopltk.com/explore/Dreanicoleee?web_share_path=creator-shop-share SHOP MUSE BEAUTY: https://www.musebeautycollection.com/ Send Fan Mail To: 1452 Chattahoochee Ave NW GA 30318 United States Wanna leave us a voicemail? Call 678.827.1826 Want Advice? Email us @ [email protected] Want To Be Featured On Our Item Of The Week Segment? Email Us @: [email protected] Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to https://www.RocketMoney.com/POURMINDS For a limited time, HomeChef is offering my listeners 18 Free Meals PLUS Free Dessert for Life and of course, Free Shipping on your first box! Go to https://www.HomeChef.com/POURMINDS. That’s https://www.HomeChef.com/POURMINDS for 18 Free Meals and Free Dessert for Life! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: Who are the hosts and guest introduced in this episode?
What's up, y'all? It's your girl Lex P. And it's your girl Dre Nicole. And you are tuned in to another episode of Poor Minds. Where a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts. We got a guest today. We got a guest today. So... Y'all know, y'all have been asking for this guest to come on for a long time, first of all.
And second of all, I don't even know how to give this introduction because a YouTube star turned into an R&B sensation that we have all jammed her music and been going through it. This ain't our love. We got sweethearts in the building! Hello, hello, hello. Thank y'all for having me. Thank you for coming. No problem. Because one thing about me, like, I do not care who it is.
I'm going to slide in people's DMs. Yes. I'm a DM slider. Like, I don't care. If I'm, like, a fan of you and I feel like we'll vibe, I'm like, I'm going to slide in their DMs and ask. Because the worst you can say is no.
I don't know how I missed that.
Yeah, so I slid in your DMs like a long time ago. And I was like, y'all, I mean, I shot my shot. Maybe she'll respond. And I swear, you were up like late because you responded like 3 in the morning.
Yeah, I think I was looking through all of my requests. Okay, that's probably what it was. I was looking through my requests. And then I went, you know how you can go to the little part where it says verified or something like that? And so I saw it. I was like, oh, my God, how did I miss this? Yes, and I was like, oh, my God. I woke up. I was like, I screenshot it.
I was like, y'all, she responded.
And I was like, yeah, we've been wanting to have you on for a while.
So I didn't know people was asking me to come on. Oh, yeah. They love like we have the girls on because it's like a girls talk show. So and I'm not gonna lie. We've had a lot of male guests lately. And they're like, bring the girls back. Where the women? Yes. But I mean, is it like harder to get girls? I was just about to say that.
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Chapter 2: How do female guests typically respond to podcast invitations?
I didn't even know that was a thing. Me neither.
It's a little crazy. Because I felt like, you know, if you have something to promote, it's going to help the both of us.
Yeah.
It's going to help if you got something going on. I agree. But sometimes people will just straight up flat out be like, no. Yeah. And be like, because I feel like there's a way to say no. Yeah. Or leave you on read. Yeah.
I don't like that. I don't like that.
Yeah. Like, just to be like, you know, unfortunately right now is not the right time. You know, we'll let you know. We'll circle back. It's just a professionalism. Like, we had somebody email us back and they was like, she not interested. Yeah.
Well, they asked for a budgie first. Then they said she's not interested. So it's like she was interested, but it was contingent on if we had a budgie.
Have you ever had a situation where you reached out to somebody to do a song with and they hurt your feelings? What happened? You don't have to name drop.
Left me on read. That's why I agree. I don't believe that girls are really girls' girls.
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Chapter 3: What challenges do women face when healing publicly vs. privately?
Yeah, I ain't going to do it.
But see, like, even what she said yesterday with the person saying something about the cheese tray. And I was like, well, girl, you don't know what it's like to have new or old money.
Yeah. I know that's right.
They got to clap back. But like, you know, so they know you're not taking it too personal. Like, girl, I'm laughing at you. I'm not really mad.
Like, yeah. And I think that's what they be wanting you to feel like. They really, like, you really feel something. Like, you really, really upset. You know what?
I don't get when men say stuff about women.
No. You know what? In sales. Yeah, like... My thing, too, is the thing that's scarier about that is, like, there's a man who's on the Internet arguing with women under the shade room comments, talking shit, but there's somebody who is actively dating this man. Laying in a bed with him every night. Laying in a bed with him next to him. Like, I'll be thinking in my head. I'm not trying to be funny.
I know this sounds horrible, but when I see a man just talking about me or always in my comments, I'll be like, who is fucking... Yeah. Like, God damn. You in the trenches, baby girl. I'm not even worried about him. I'm worried about the lady who is laying next to you, if there even is one. Yeah, because why you even got time to do that? You know what I'm saying?
As a man, why are you in the shade room comments talking about, oh, she looks so tacky. Where's her stylist? Yeah, that's insane. You know what I'm saying? Okay, so anyways, we're going to move on. We're going to play a little game. Yeah, let's play the game. What's the game?
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Chapter 4: How does Queen Naija handle public breakups and co-parenting in the spotlight?
So, and that's with a breakup. Like, even when my mom passed away, I let y'all know what I was going through. I was very open about, you know, different journeys. But I also think, as women, I hate that they do this to us. Every time we said it's not to do with the man. Oh, hello. Every time we are in our feelings, they be like, oh, what he did. He must have made you mad.
I have other things going on in my life that stress me out that have nothing to do with the man. Yeah. So sometimes I think that is aggravating because I want to share what I'm going through, but it's like, it makes me mad because I can just be like, oh my gosh, I'm so tired. Today was stressful. What do you do, girl? Mm-hmm. It's not about a man.
It's not always... The world don't revolve around men all the time.
Right.
We have issues outside of that.
We have a lot of issues. Always. And I will say, I feel like you're a little more vulnerable, like, looking at your social media and stuff. Because even when your mom passed away, you... basically said it immediately almost. Remember, when my dad passed away, I didn't even talk about it on the show, I think, for like maybe a month or two after it happened. So I don't know.
It's just, I think that when you're going through stuff, people on the internet can be so mean. So I just don't even want to give them that because it's like I'm already grieving. I'm already going through a breakup. I'm already dealing with drama. I don't want to get online and then I'm telling y'all about it. And of course, you do get the outpouring of love from some people sometimes.
But then you have the people that are negative and mean. They don't give a fuck about what you're going through. Are they happy that you're going through it? So, I don't know. I feel like it's hard for me sometimes to decipher because I want to be vulnerable and transparent. But then people are just so mean.
And then a lot of times people will come on there and pretend they care about you. Or they'll say, oh, I'm praying for you. And they're not really praying for you. No. Mm-hmm.
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Chapter 5: What role does music play in Queen Naija’s healing process?
He be kind of messing with you a little bit. Yeah. A little bit still, yeah. Yeah, he always, like, saying your name or saying he wants you back or be like, oh, come home and, you know, doing kind of funny things like that. Whether it's genuine or not, it's more so for a reaction.
So how is that because, you know, you're actively trying to heal, have a healthy co-parenting relationship, but then also having to deal with the antics?
Yeah.
You know, he on the air because he got to do that. Yeah. You know, it's like, I don't know. It's just kind of... You know how, like... Well, I don't know if... Are you guys... You're not parents yet.
No, no.
But, like, as a mom, you get used to a baby crying. And then it's just like, you don't hear it. Sometimes you just blur it out. That's the same thing. I'm just, you know... But... I'm not going to say that I'm a very, like, silent sniper in a way. So I'm not going to, like, I'm never going to tell my plans or anything. But I got something. Yeah. I know that's right. Up my sleeve.
Yeah, up my sleeve. I'm not going to lie. We're going to pull out that truth card.
A little side note, because I remember when that whole breakup with y'all happened. Because, look, I be in everybody's business. Y'all know me. I live chronically online. But I remember seeing a picture of you and you were like on the top of the Capital One Records building. It was right when you signed your deal.
It's something about a woman going through a breakup and rough times and just coming out on top. Oh, yes. And I just remember just clapping and being so happy for you. Yeah. Because there be a lot of breakups that break people and they don't get through it and they don't get on the other side. So I just remember seeing that, like, announcement that you made.
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Chapter 6: How do social media trolls and negativity affect celebrities and influencers?
Yes, ma'am. What do you think, Queen? She said, how do you keep showing up for yourself? Okay. I think a lot of people feel like showing up means every day you go full force.
Yep.
As long as you just try every day, try to do your best. Showing up don't look the same every day. Right. You know what I'm saying? And you also got to understand a lot of people. I'll just use myself as an example. I have ADHD really bad. So if I don't get like everything done, I used to get nothing done.
But I had to learn, like, even if I just, if I don't clean this whole kitchen, as an example, if I could just sweep this floor or if I could just, like, just get all the trash, put the trash in the trash can, put the dishes in the sink, I'm still showing up. I still did it.
You know what I'm saying?
You accomplished. Yeah, you still accomplished. And to the fact that no one claps for it, like she said, you have to do it for yourself. A lot of people forget to confide in God and ask him and cast all your cares upon him. Come on. You got to cast all your cares upon God because we cannot do it alone. Right. And you have to really, really ask for discernment on when do I rest?
Because we need to rest. A lot of people overwork themselves just trying to like show up, show up, show up. Some days you got to rest. Yeah. So like you said, give yourself, like she said, give yourself grace. And know that even a small win is still a win. Mm-hmm. And what was the second question?
It was how do you forgive yourself for surviving when you couldn't save everyone else?
That one was deep. I'm going to tell you like my therapist would tell me. Everything's not your responsibility.
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