1356 - Speeding Tickets, Whipped Cream Heists & Roz on Bumble?

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Roz & Mocha 47 min 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 3 days ago
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Why is Mocha being roasted for nearly $1,000 in speed‑camera tickets?

Unknown 0:00
From the KISS Ninety Two Five Studios in Toronto, Canada. You This is Roz and Mocha.
Mocha 0:08
It's Roz and Mocha. What's going on? Hey guys, this is Bruno Mars. This
Unknown 0:11
is Selena Gomez.
Mocha 0:12
Chain Smoker. Lady Gaga. Calvin Harris. Celestia
Unknown 0:14
Carr. You're listening to my boys Roz and Mocha. Roz and Mocha. My boys Roz and Mocha.
Mocha 0:19
The Roz and Mocha shows. Uh between Roz and Mocha, who is your favorite? Roz Mocha! I think Mocha! You guys are so funny, man. Congratulations, Lisa!
Unknown 0:29
Wow!
Mocha 0:29
You just won a thousand
Unknown 0:30
dollars! It's amazing! Y'all just made my entire morning. Keep it up. You guys are awesome, man. This is the Roz and Mocha Show podcast.
Mocha 0:41
Sham, you've been busted. Oh no, what happened? You have been busted, sir. Police in Guelph, Ontario are investigating a heist after a refrigerated trailer containing eighty thousand dollars worth of whipped cream was stolen. According to a Guelph police service release, officers were called after a manager reported that a white uh Waba I hope I say this right, Wabash brand trailer had gone missing. Investigators believe a suspect hooked the trailer to another vehicle and drove off around four thirty AM, making off with thirty pallets of gay lee branded whipped cream. Now, did they think it was something
Roz Weston 1:19
else or did they know it was whipped cream?
Mocha 1:23
I think that they thought it was something else.
Roz Weston 1:25
But remember, like because I I don't know any anything about this stuff. Like, remember when people were stealing butter? Yes. Right? Like dairy, like there's a thing going on with dairy where it is a hot commodity and thieves are getting in on the action. But how are you gonna move
Mocha 1:42
$80,000 worth of whipped
Roz Weston 1:43
cream? So you sell it to people who need the whipped cream.
Mocha 1:46
Well who needs that much whipped cream outside of Shem?
Roz Weston 1:49
Bakeries.
Mocha 1:50
Oh I guess. Right?
Roz Weston 1:51
Sure. Bakeries and Shem Black Market for Right. Like if you're if you if you steal, right? Like and they know there's a syndicate, right? Like if you go on the dark web, right, and you're like, Man, I just came into a whole lot of whipped cream. Where can I unload this fast? The they'll send you a list on the dark web. You can buy it, like you can buy people's information. And literally the list says bakeries and shimps. So embarrassing. Right? Like he's he's on the dark web. Uh-huh. Right? No offense. I was gonna say no and the black market? I didn't say black, I said I said dark web, not black market. That's not what I said. That's
Unknown 2:27
not what I said. The Roz and Mocha Show Podcast. Podcast.
Roz Weston 2:35
I may have found the most devastatingly punishingly difficult tongue twister.
Bruno Satin 2:46
I know we
Roz Weston 2:46
chem sweating. I know. These are real big on this show. People love them. Um, okay, so I'm gonna send it to all of you guys to the group chat. Okay. And open it now or wait. Yeah, no, in in in in a second. I'll send it in a second. Now when I say punishing, like you can even just at first glance, you're going to realize where this is all going to go wrong for all of you. Okay. Okay. Okay. So I'm gonna read it out as I send it. The tongue twister is this: one sock cutter, he cuts socks. Two sock cutters, they cut socks. Three sock cutters, they cut socks. Easy enough.
Mocha 3:28
Yeah, I can see where this
Roz Weston 3:29
will go wrong. Yes, thank you, damn it, Maury. But you just said it
Mocha 3:32
like at a decent pace. At a decent pace.
Roz Weston 3:34
You didn't screw it up. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. Um, I apologize in advance to the audience for the excessive amount of bleeps that are inevitably about to happen. Who would like to go first? Shem? I always go first. Listen, man. That's the way it goes. Shem, again, it is one sock cutter, he cuts socks, two sock cutters, they cut socks, three sock cutters, they cut socks. Shem on the count of three. Here we go. In three, two, one, go. One saw cutter. He saw choo.
Unknown 4:05
Oh that's
Mocha 4:08
what you mean.
Unknown 4:10
One more time, Shem. Also, Shem,
Mocha 4:12
your first time and you said that, bro.
Unknown 4:14
Shem in three, two, one, go. One saw cutter, he sucks. I hate this show.
Roz Weston 4:21
One more time. One more time. Shem, one more time. You just gotta get to the first line. Yeah. Okay.
Unknown 4:28
One saw cutter, he sucks. Oh God, Matt. Oh my god. What kind of minds are you? We're gonna
Roz Weston 4:34
give Shimmy a break. Okay, we're gonna move on to David Morey.

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