After Action Report #36
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Olen Shannon Maldonado, käsintehtyjä artesaanituotteita myyvän Jaui lahjakaupan perustaja. Valitsin Shopify, koska alustoja testatessani totesin sen ehdottomasti yhdeksi helppokäyttöisimmistä alustoista. Minulla oli tärkeää pohtia kehittymistämme tulevaisuudessa. Kaikki myyntiin tarvittavat työkalut, kuten varaston suunnittelu, ovat kätevästi dashboardissa. Aloita ilmainen kokeilu shopify.com-sivustolla.
You're listening to After Action Report at Savage.net. Welcome to After Action Report, where listeners share fascinating stories of first-time sexual experiences. The stories keep pouring in. Stories of fantasies fulfilled, stories of fantasies indulged, and stories of steps outside comfort zones, sometimes little baby steps, sometimes great big fucking leaps. This week we meet Jay, who with his husband by his side, tiptoed into his very first, but not his very last, from the sound of things, Canadian bathhouse. Jay, Jay, welcome to the show.
Thanks, Dan. Super happy to be here.
Thank you for being here. So before we get to the new thing that you tried, who are you? Who's Jay? Give the listeners a mental image of you that they can hold in their heads while they picture what you're doing.
Yeah, so I live in a small-ish city on the East Coast. I've been listening and been shaped by you, Mr. Dan Savage, for a large part of my adult life, for better and worse, I guess. I've been with my partner now for 15 years. We've been married for 10. We are monogamish, as you've coined, and I've found that that term is a great explanation for our journey into this story, I guess.
So how long were you guys, I imagine if you're monogamous now and it was a journey that you were monogamous at first?
Yeah, I would say for the first five years or so that we were strictly monogamous. We were relatively young when we got together. So it was something that evolved as we matured and got older with each other.
So was opening up the relationship or opening it a crack, which is kind of what monogamish sort of means, was it a mutual idea that you both had at the same time or did one of you bring it to the other?
I think it was definitely me pushing it a little bit more. I felt a little bit more comfortable with it. And it began as us doing things together. And from there, it's kind of evolved a little bit. And it's still changing on a daily basis. And I've just kind of tried to live by a lot of the things that you talk about on your podcast. And it's really helped our communication and our relationship grow into something stronger and better.
Well, that's very gratifying to hear and thank you so much for saying that. Now let's talk about what you did. You and your husband, you tried something new. What was it?
Yeah, we went to a Canadian bathhouse on vacation.
Which Canadian city?
Vancouver.
Vancouver.
Okay. And had you always wanted to go to a bathhouse? You say you live in a small city on the East Coast. There are certainly sex clubs and bathhouses closer by. Was part of the desire or enticement of it being in Vancouver that you were far from home and less likely to run into somebody from the club?
No, I don't think that that had anything to do with it. It was more of a just when in Rome or when in Vancouver in this situation.
So it sounds like you're the more adventurous, sensation-seeking, new experience-seeking person in this relationship, which is a good thing to be. That is Terry in our relationship. It is a good thing for one of the guys to be maybe a little bit more leaning out or leaning in or something. A little bit more adventurous because then the less adventurous guy gets dragged off on adventures that they wind up enjoying that they might not otherwise go on. So I hope your partner appreciates you.
Oh, he definitely does. I've definitely pushed him to do things that he wouldn't have otherwise been comfortable doing, but I'm also pushing myself while I'm doing it too.
So what was it about a bathhouse that you wanted to experience?
I think that as you get older, there's very few things that are genuinely new experiences as an adult.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–5:30
2
Who is Jay and what led him and his husband to try something new on vacation?
5:30–9:36
3
How did Jay and his husband transition from monogamy to a 'monogamish' relationship?
9:36–15:07
4
Why did Jay choose to visit a Vancouver bathhouse instead of local options?
15:07–17:27