Show notes
Kicking off Season 18, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Nancy Gilette for part one of this powerful two-part conversation about autism support, parent burnout, neurodivergent parenting, and why connection has to come before correction. Nancy brings the kind of grounded wisdom parents need when they’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and wondering if they’re doing enough.
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Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.
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Mental Health Quote
“Behavior is communication. When we slow down enough to understand it, connection becomes possible.” — Inspired by Nancy Gilette
Episode Description
Parenting can feel like a full-contact sport, especially when your child is autistic, neurodivergent, overwhelmed, or struggling to communicate what’s really going on. In part one of this conversation, Nancy Gillette joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to talk about autism support, parent burnout, and the power of building real connection inside the chaos.
Nancy is a certified RDI Consultant with more than 20 years of experience helping families shift from survival mode into a calmer, more connected way of parenting. Her work centers on one powerful truth: behavior is communication. Instead of seeing challenging behavior as defiance or failure, Nancy encourages parents to get curious about what their child’s nervous system is trying to say.
Nancy also shares the moment that shaped her life’s work — a powerful connection with a young autistic child that showed her how meaningful engagement can change everything. From there, the conversation opens up into regulation, visual referencing, parent-child relationships, and why parents need support just as much as their kids do.
Dirty Skittles gets real about parenting Nugget, navigating possible neurodivergence, and trying to create more happy memories than painful ones. And G-Rex reminds listeners that parents are not broken; many were simply never given the tools they needed.
This episode is a compassionate reminder that you do not have to parent from panic. You can pause, reconnect, and try again.
Keywords: autism support, autism parenting, parent burnout, neurodivergent parenting, autistic children, behavior is communication, emotional regulation, RDI consultant, sensory overwhelm, parent-child connection, mental health podcast, parenting support, family wellness, compassionate parenting, connection before correction
Meet Our Guest — Nancy Gilette
Nancy Gilette is a certified RDI Consultant, mentor, and advocate with over 20 years of experience supporting autistic children and their families. She helps parents understand behavior as communication and teaches practical, relationship-based strategies that move families from crisis mode into connection, clarity, and calm.
Website: www.nancygilette.comInstagram: http://instagram.com/nancygilettecoachingFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/nancy.gilette
Key Takeaways
Behavior is communication, not proof that a child is “bad” or that a parent is failing.
Parents often need support, tools, and compassion just as much as their children do.
Connection comes before correction, especially when a child is dysregulated.
Neurodivergent kids need adults who are willing to slow down, observe, and respond with intention.
Confidence grows through safe, manageable experiences — not pressure, shame, or forced performance.
Parent burnout is real, and taking a pause is a healthy part of regulation.
Actionable Items
Before reacting to challenging behavior, pause and ask: “What is this behavior trying to communicate?”
Create one small calm moment in your day, especially during high-stress transitions like mornings or bedtime.
When your child is dysregulated, focus first on helping them return to calm before trying to teach, explain, or problem-solve.
References Mentioned
Dr. Ross Greene — “Children do well if they can”Relationship Development Intervention: https://www.rdiconnect.comNancy Gillette: www.nancygilette.com
Important Chapters
00:00:00 – Welcome to Part OneG-Rex and Dirty Skittles introduce the episode and welcome Nancy Gilette to the show.
00:01:19 – Nancy’s Work With Autistic Children and FamiliesNancy explains her role as an RDI Consultant and how she helps parents move from survival mode into more calm, clarity, and understanding.
00:03:49 – The Moment That Sparked Nancy’s MissionNancy shares the powerful experience she had at 17 while working with an autistic child, and how one moment of authentic connection changed the direction of her life.
00:07:20 – Moving From Reaction to ConnectionNancy explains why so many parents feel stuck in crisis mode and how regulation, intention, and connection can shift the whole family dynamic.
00:14:21 – Dirty Skittles Opens Up About Parenting NuggetDirty Skittles shares a real-life morning moment with Nugget and how she works to pause, communicate honestly, and show up with love.
00:17:53 – Neurodivergence, Diagnosis, and the Bigger QuestionNancy discusses how diagnosis can offer information and access, but the deeper question is how families use that information to support quality of life.
00:28:28 – Dysregulation and Helping Kids Return to CalmNancy explains why the goal is not to shut down dysregulation, but to guide a child back toward calm so problem-solving can happen.
00:37:36 – Building Confidence Through Small, Safe ChallengesNancy introduces the idea of gently increasing a child’s challenge level so they can experience success without becoming overwhelmed.
00:45:42 – Nancy’s Crohn’s Diagnosis and Listening to the BodyNancy shares how her own health journey helped her better understand stress, the nervous system, healing, and quality of life.
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