Show notes
Joe Smarro walked away from a Marine uniform, a badge, and a gun belt that almost ended his life, and walked straight into the work of healing himself and the first responders nobody else was checking on. This conversation is about what it really takes to take off the mask, do the work, and become the kind of human who gives other people permission to do the same.
Awards & Downloads
Brought to you by the 2024 and 2026 award-winning podcast Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads, a 2026 Women Podcasters Awards nominee in the Mindset and Mental Health category and honored among the Influential Women 2026 Women of the Year, with 4.5 million plus downloads across 160 plus countries and counting in Season 17.
Feedback Link
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Mental Health Quote
"There's so much freedom on the other side of your suffering. There's so much freedom on the other side of your fear." Joe Smarro
Episode Description
Joe Smarro is a Marine Corps combat veteran, former San Antonio Police Officer, co-founder of one of the country's first Mental Health Units, and the kind of man who'll tell you exactly how close he came to not being here. In this episode, Joe sits down with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to share the story behind his Emmy-winning HBO documentary Ernie and Joe: Crisis Cops, his book Unarmed, and the moment he chose therapy over the gun belt sitting next to him.
This is a raw, hopeful, and surprisingly funny conversation about childhood trauma, an ACES score of nine, PTSD, persistent depressive disorder, and the addiction patterns that ran his life until he stopped running from himself. Joe shares why he believes therapy is a relationship, and most people just haven't found the right partner yet, why he started attending SLAA meetings at 44, and why he gets up every day, names his alarm clock with affirmations, and practices three points of reflection before his feet hit the floor.
If you've ever worn a mask so tight you forgot what your real face felt like, this one's for you. Joe gives men, first responders, veterans, and anyone with a hard story permission to stop pretending and start healing. We talk masculine vulnerability, suicide prevention, scars versus scabs, the "selfish AF" approach to wellness, radical self-responsibility, and what it actually looks like to live on the other side of trauma.
Keywords: first responder mental health, PTSD recovery, veteran mental health, suicide prevention, childhood trauma, ACES score, Joe Smarro, Unarmed book, Ernie and Joe Crisis Cops, masculine vulnerability, de-escalation, police mental health, trauma healing, therapy for men, addiction recovery
Meet Our Guest
Joe Smarro is a decorated Marine Corps combat veteran, former San Antonio Police Officer, co-founder of the SAPD Mental Health Unit, TEDx speaker, and bestselling Author of Unarmed: De-escalation Techniques to Cultivate Courage, Compassion, and Connection and 12 Laws of Maximizing the Human Experience. He's the founder and CEO of SolutionPoint+, a national consulting firm focused on mental wellness, resiliency, and crisis response training for first responders, public safety, public transit, and corporate clients. When he's not on stage or in a hotel somewhere in North America, you'll find him on the golf course.
Connect with Joe:
Website: https://www.joesmarro.com
Company: https://www.solutionpointplus.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joesmarro
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/josephsmarro
Documentary: Ernie and Joe: Crisis Cops on HBO Max
Key Takeaways
Share from a scar, not a scab. Healing first, then teaching. Joe waited until his wounds had closed before he started talking about them publicly, and that's why his story actually helps people.
Therapy is a relationship, not a one-time experiment. If the first therapist didn't fit, that doesn't mean therapy doesn't work. It means you haven't found your person yet.
"Selfish AF" is not a personality flaw. It's self-awareness, self-love, and self-care so you can actually show up for the people you love.
Take radical responsibility for the life you're living now. Bad things happened to you, and they weren't your fault. What you do with them today is.
Hope and curiosity keep you moving. Not motivation. Not hustle. Curiosity about what life looks like on the other side of the work.
Actionable Items
Build your own three points of reflection. Each morning, ask yourself where you are, why you're there, and who contributed to you being there.
Find three new things you're grateful for every day, and they cannot repeat. This forces you to hunt for the good rather than run on autopilot.
Identify the biggest fear holding you back right now and take one small step toward it this week.
References Mentioned
Book: Unarmed by Joe Smarro, available at https://www.joesmarro.com
Documentary: Ernie and Joe: Crisis Cops on HBO Max
TEDx Talk: "I See You" by Joe Smarro on YouTube
SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous): https://slaafws.org
Important Chapters
00:00 Welcome
02:15 Childhood trauma and the mask
05:04 Behind the book Unarmed
09:05 The gun belt moment
13:22 First SLAA meeting at 44
16:20 Speed dating your therapist
24:21 Joe's morning ritual
29:42 Selfish AF
35:10 Nobody is coming to save you
42:56 Where to find Joe
Closing CTA
If this episode moved you, sat heavy on you, or made you finally pick up the phone, we want to know. Leave us a review or share your story at https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews. Listen on your favorite platform or on our website at https://www.goesoninourheads.net. Your story might be the one that unlocks somebody else's prison.
#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #JoeSmarro #Unarmed #FirstResponderMentalHealth #PTSDRecovery #SuicidePrevention #VeteranMentalHealth #TraumaHealing #PoliceWellness #MasculineVulnerability #ACES #CrisisCops #BreakTheStigma #TherapyWorks #SelfishAF #HealingTrauma #STGOIOH
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