I’m Just Trying to Figure Out My Relationship with Alcohol” (Why You Feel Stuck in the Moderation Cycle)
episode
Sober Vibes: Alcohol free lifestyle tips for long-term sobriety, whether you're sober curious or ready to quit drinking for good
15 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 1 month ago
Transcript
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Why does saying “I’m just trying to figure out my relationship with alcohol” keep women stuck in the moderation cycle?
Hey, welcome back to the Silver Vibes podcast. I am your host and sober coach, Courtney Anderson. You were listening to episode 281. I got a good one today. I got a good one. So this is for those who keep saying this to themselves, right? That I'm just trying to figure out my relationship with alcohol. That is what this episode is about today. Okay. Usually when women say that it sounds like you are like trying to do your own personal research, you're trying to be responsible, you're trying to have an awareness, right, around What this thing is gonna be like with alcohol. Maybe it's like almost dating in the beginning. You're taking your time, you're being super intentional, right? But usually underneath when it's when somebody says this, it's because that they know that they have an issue.
Okay. This is coming from a person who thought that and I know what it's like to have a drinking issue and this has also come from the many, many, many, many, many women I have coached throughout the years. Okay. And Usually when you start saying the sprays, it's because you have then welcomed alcohol back into your life and this is where it you feel like it goes into the mo it will go into the moderation trap, okay? Because then once you reintroduce it, I'm gonna tell you that usually when you reintroduce it. It speeds up as in you're like, oh, I'm just gonna try to figure out this relationship with alcohol. And then you go back to drinking and the first night you have one drink, and then by day seven, you have five, six.
So I want you to get out of that trap in that way of thinking. So this episode is definitely, definitely for you because at the end of the day, it's that addiction speaking. It is that son of a bitch that speaks. Okay.
How does the “curiosity vs. avoidance” mindset affect the decision to re‑introduce alcohol?
Before we get started in today's episode, as always, if you are looking for more help on your sober journey, I do have my sober coaching. All the information is in the show notes below. I have my stop starting over program. That's my one-on-one. That's a self-guided course. I have sobriety circle. That is my monthly member.
membership community, there's meetings in that for the month of July. You can use code SOBRJULY and it will get you ten dollars off your first month. You can cancel at any time. And then also to I have my one on one coaching. Again, all the information is in the show notes below, or you can go to Courtneyrecovered.com and find all of my resources and information there.
Okay. So What does it really mean when you say you are trying to figure it out, right? So it almost sounds again, maybe possibly going back to like the sober curiosity, right? But often it is an uncertainty, right? It can be a softer way of avoiding a decision. But also too, a lot of people end up saying this when they reintroduce it into their life, right? And you're trying to hope that moderation will eventually feel easier. Usually too, When a person quits drinking, they like to look at it to be like, well, I was in a bad place in my life because of X, Y, and Z, because that is used as an excuse. Okay. Because usually too you do you there's uh you pinpoint it in your life you know when your drinking increased okay but so your drinking increases and then it's okay well I'm not in that marriage anymore I'm not I'm I have a new job right I'm not in a pandemic anymore it was stressful blah blah yeah whatever the case may be there was an excuse so a lot of people then reintroduce alcohol because they're like I'm in a better spot in my life.
But then when you what you come to find out is that it's oh no. No.
What are the hidden costs of repeatedly restarting moderation rules and breaks?
I already opened this can of worms before and majority of people, I would probably say about 85% of people who have problematic relationships with alcohol and once it has taken over the brain, there is no putting these worms back in the can. You it the damage has been done. There is few people I have ever met in my life. Very few that said, I used to have an issue and now I can now I'm quote unquote a moderate drinker. That's a unicorn. All right. So With this When you start saying stuff like that, like trying to figure out my relationship with alcohol.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why does saying “I’m just trying to figure out my relationship with alcohol” keep women stuck in the moderation cycle?
0:10–2:09
2
How does the “curiosity vs. avoidance” mindset affect the decision to re‑introduce alcohol?
2:09–4:09
3
What are the hidden costs of repeatedly restarting moderation rules and breaks?
4:09–6:09
4
Why is the idea of “moderate drinking” often a false promise for most people?
6:09–8:04
5
What questions should you ask instead of “Can I drink less?” to uncover the real purpose of alcohol?
8:04–10:08
6
How does emotional exhaustion and life stress (e.g., perimenopause, career changes) fuel the moderation trap?
10:08–11:36
7
What does it look like to break the cycle and stop negotiating with alcohol?
11:36–13:14
8
What practical steps can you take today to gain clarity and commit to a sober lifestyle?
13:14–15:04
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Sober Vibes: Alcohol free lifestyle tips for long-term sobriety, whether you're sober curious or ready to quit drinking for good
Why Alcohol Feels Like Your Best Friend: Understanding Emotional Drinking and Quitting Drinking
How to Stay Sober on the Weekends Break the Weekend Drinking Cycle and Beat Alcohol Cravings
The #1 Reason to Quit Drinking Today: Why Moderation Doesn't Work and Sobriety Gets Better
Decision Fatigue Is Sabotaging Sobriety: How to Use Relapse Prevention and a Sobriety Plan to Stop Night Emotional Drinking for Good
Stress Spikes Are Your Real Trigger How to Relax Without Alcohol and Curb Alcohol Cravings to Stay Sober When Life Gets Messy
How to Maintain Sobriety During the Summer: Relapse Prevention, Sober Living, and Staying Consistent