479: How do I get back on track after I slip up and drink too much?
episode
Take a Break from Drinking: Practical Tools to Drink Less & Change Your Relationship with Alcohol
19 min
1 speaker
8 chapters
transcribed 1 month ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Why does a single night of over‑drinking feel like it erases weeks of progress?
Have you ever felt like one night of drinking too much erased weeks or even months of progress? Maybe you decided you needed to set stricter rules for yourself, or maybe you stopped caring and felt like, what's the point of even trying to cut back if nothing works for long? This is episode 479, and I'm explaining why telling yourself that you need to get back on track after drinking too much may actually be the very thing keeping.
Whether you want to drink less or stop drinking, this podcast will help you change the habit from the inside out. We're challenging conventional wisdom about why people drink and why it can be hard to resist temptation. No labels, no judgment, just practical tools to take control of your desire and stop worrying about your drinking. Now here's your host, Rachel Hart.
How do I get back on track after drinking too much? This is a question I get all the time. It's also a question that I used to ask myself all the time. And it was a cycle that I very much felt stuck in. I would be doing really well with drinking less. I would be sticking to my plan. I would be really responsible. And then one night, everything would just go out the window. I Would blow right past the limit I had set for myself, or I would have failed to even set a limit in the first place, and my night would go totally off the rails. And the next morning, I wasn't just dealing with the hangover and the regret. I was dealing with all of the thoughts spinning in my head. Oh, Rachel, how could you be so stupid?
What's wrong with me? Why do I keep doing this? And then what often followed was a thought. Thought that was even more insidious than all of the shaming and blaming. It was the belief, if nothing works, what's the point of even trying? Ironically, I don't think it's the moment that things go off the rails that are actually keeping you stuck. It's not what actually was keeping me stuck. It was that same predictable cycle that was unfolding for me the next morning when you imagine. Immediately rush to judgment and you decide that yesterday you were bad or you were stupid or you were irresponsible, you start shaming and blaming yourself, and you slip either into stricter rules or nothing works. So what's the point?
What thoughts and self‑judgments arise the morning after a drinking slip?
Or you might find yourself going back and forth between those two extremes. I remember often telling myself, well, if I'm never going to figure this out, I'm Might as well just drink and enjoy myself. And then that would keep me in a cycle of just kind of throwing my hands up and saying, who cares? That thought kept me stuck more than any single night of drinking too much ever did. And yeah, sure. Sometimes I would wake up and I would make promises that I was never going to do that again. I was never going to drink again. I can't even tell you how many times I. Swore that to myself. But in a weird way, that is a similar trap. Because how many times have you told yourself around drinking or really anything in life that you're never going to do that again?
Only to find yourself at some point repeating the behavior. What I finally realize is that no matter what happened the next day. The problem wasn't that I needed to get back on track. The problem was telling myself that how much I drank the day before was a sign that I was off track. The entire idea of getting back on track assumes that what happened yesterday means you were headed in the wrong direction. It assumes that what happened yesterday means that you failed. But what I want you to consider is what if that mindset, the mindset of being off track and needing to get on track, what if that is actually the problem? Because no matter what happens the next day, if you think you need to get back on track, you are probably also telling yourself that you were bad and you need a return to quote unquote good behavior.
And now that That may sound harmless, but it hides some pretty intense judgment about what happened. And I know for myself and from working with so many thousands of people, the harder you judge yourself, the harder it is to actually learn what you need in order to create change.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why does a single night of over‑drinking feel like it erases weeks of progress?
0:00–2:28
2
What thoughts and self‑judgments arise the morning after a drinking slip?
2:28–5:19
3
How does the “off‑track” mindset keep you stuck in a cycle of shame?
5:19–7:52
4
Why is gathering factual data more useful than labeling yourself as “bad”?
7:52–10:27
5
What are drink archetypes and how can they reveal the brain’s hidden motives?
10:27–12:18
6
How can identifying the archetype guide the skills you need to practice?
12:18–14:44
7
What daily reflection tools help turn curiosity into actionable change?
14:44–17:32
8
How does replacing shame with curiosity lead to lasting progress after a slip?
17:32–19:09
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Take a Break from Drinking: Practical Tools to Drink Less & Change Your Relationship with Alcohol
481: Wanting to prove you can drink less
480: Tolerating the discomfort of not having another drink
478: I've made so much progress with my drinking. So why doesn't it feel any easier? [Listener Q&A]
477: Chasing the Sweet Spot with Your Drinking
476: Why You Can Always Find a Good Reason to Drink
475: What if you just love drinking? [Listener Q&A]