"The Steven Adams Hug Humiliator"
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What personal morning struggles and sleep gear jokes open the show?
Oh, good morning, Tony. Oh, good morning, G-Lane. Love that way to start. Oh, he's coming in hot. Well, I feel so much better. Well, I'm still waiting to feel better. I've got a bit of a three-dayer going on today. And mainly because I was kept up all night with a loving child. Of course. We did leave. We went down to that 40th and so we were away for two nights. So we didn't see him for a couple of nights. So, you know, he's come back and he's a bit needy, which is good. You know, it's nice to be loved, but came into bed at about midnight and just... Kids these days, you know, he's four years old. It basically means he's the exact length of my torso and his feet end up right in my dick and nuts. So he just, if he moves or kicks, it just flies out.
So I've just got a night of getting kicked in the balls. You need to take your cup with you. I should take my cup with me and wear it to bed. Yeah. I mean, this is... Because you've got your own one. I do. I know. It's in a box right there. Yeah, with your initials on it and everything. So you could wear a full jockstrap, wear a full cover box to bed. Yeah, that's not a bad idea, actually. It does seem like not the intended use, but I guess it needs masks sometimes. Other people are wearing them to play cricket. I'm wearing them to avoid getting a soft kick in the test of clay in the middle of the night. Wow. You know, I mean, look, it wouldn't be the sexiest thing to wear to bed, like a jockstrap with a ginormous codpiece.
It's like those people who wear, you know, like a snore guard or whatever. Like, have you seen the hostage tape situation? People go full Al-Qaeda and go beheading video and they put like tape over their mouth and they're like, good night, go to sleep. Like, what a humiliating. There's no way you're getting anything past the keeper when you've got a full... It's crazy. Even the mouth guard thing, some people wear, I think, to sort their teeth out or whatever. You're like, that must be. Again, there's no way. You don't put the mouth in and be like, hey, baby, how are you? It's better than the full-scale F-16 fighter pilot mask that people put on. There's nothing more humiliating than the CPAP. And, you know, shout out to all my CPAP homies out there who, you know, have let themselves go.
And so I think that's when you really need to take a good hard and long way yourself. Like if you're needing to be kept alive by sort of one of those big old Darth Vader machines when you go to sleep, maybe reassess your lifestyle. And I know that they have, and that's glib, and that's probably mean. But come on now. Strapping yourself into a fucking vacuum cleaner to go to sleep. It's insane. Hey, it's the time of year. It's a joyous time of year. End of club rugby season. A lot of social rugby club coming to an end. A lot of senior rugby club coming to an end. And with it come the celebrations. Yeah, they're so great. And I think the one that's really captured our imagination the most is I think it's the Kurt Baker that he gets credited for it, which is, of course, you go on someone else's shoulders butt naked and then you hold the trophy aloft.
You know, you got a bit of skin to skin, a bit of girlies to the back of neck, which is good stuff. But we've had a couple of absolute beauties roll through of people and unnecessarily the guy with the guy on his shoulder is also naked. Yeah, just the... Because the idea with the Kurt Baker is there's the art of subtlety to it and the fact that you know he's nude and his dick and balls are resting on his teammates. And they're perfectly hidden. They're hidden from the photo. Yeah. But that's not what's happening. We're getting ones of the guy who's holding the other guy. So the guy on his shoulders is nude, but then also the guy down the bottom is nude. And because he's got his arms up, he's just full dick out.
Yeah.
In all his glory. I love, I just love the full frontal assault of that. It's so aggressive. And it's also, and I mean, I don't want to be disparaging to this particular gentleman. I think it's from the Southern Hawks Club in, no, sorry, the Harbour Hawks in Dunedin.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What personal morning struggles and sleep gear jokes open the show?
0:00–6:47
2
Why are nude trophy lifts becoming a club sport trend and who invented the Kurt Baker move?
6:47–15:14
3
What happened when a club shield was dropped off a Mediterranean wharf?
15:14–25:45
4
Why did County Mayo’s All‑Ireland win go viral for ecstatic commentary?
25:45–38:38
5
What happened during Steven Adams’ studio visit and why was the hug so memorable?
38:38–54:41