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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

A Paranormal New Year's Eve with Trixie and Katya

30 Dec 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What does the Podcast Ghost of 2025 reveal about the past?

5.448 - 35.251 Trixie Mattel

I think we should have a town hall. I want to have a town hall. I want to have a town hall. I don't know about what. I do. What? All's fair. Oh. It's not a town hall. It's not adversarial. It's celebratory. Right. The dicks who did this and the cunts responsible. Right? So last month, last week. The dicks. And the cunts responsible. My crusty ass. My crusty pussy. My crusty pussy.

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Chapter 2: How do Trixie and Katya reflect on their experiences during New Year's Eve?

35.612 - 44.985 Trixie Mattel

Last week on the pod, I told you that I would be willing to tell you about girl. I've been waiting. Now, before you laugh. I haven't even eaten. I want to tell you.

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46.69 - 65.338 Trixie Mattel

I heard about this show being, it's a stage show, and I heard about it being in Los Angeles, and I said, I want to go. And I checked for tickets, and the only I could go was December 2nd last night. So I said, I'm going to go. Now, I want to acknowledge that I've been having some health issues. Bladder issues. So I couldn't wake up and be on a red carpet at 8 a.m.

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65.358 - 71.296 Trixie Mattel

this morning for the Hollywood Reporter Women 100 luncheon bruncheon. You're not a woman. I did want to go.

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71.497 - 71.997 Unknown

You're not a woman.

72.337 - 87.933 Trixie Mattel

But that's why I thought I have to go and drag. I can't show up at 8 a.m. out of drag at the women's luncheon. They'll think you're like there to serve hors d'oeuvres. But me on the red carpet, I was just like, 8 a.m. That's abusive. But it's not waking up. It was like, I don't feel good. I had a camera in my urine, my pussy yesterday.

88.814 - 115.439 Trixie Mattel

Like, I can't pull the camera out of my urethra and head down to the women's brunch. Like, I can't. You know what I mean? I can't. I can't. Then the cunt's responsible. So I saw that you stole fizzy lifting drinks. You get nothing. Good day, sir. Willy Wonka. Oh, there's a musical? No, no, no. I was just saying it. It's from the movie. That's Gene Wilder.

Chapter 3: What health issues does Trixie discuss during the episode?

116.44 - 121.145 Trixie Mattel

That's Gene Wilder. We can't do vocal stems in the pod? What the fuck is this?

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125.26 - 149.367 Trixie Mattel

Sorry? Have you ever been on NPR? I think. I have a couple times, and whenever it airs, I guess I don't realize how many people listen to it. The phone blows up. Everybody listens to NPR. Why don't we get NPR numbers? This is Fresh Air, Terry Gross. Do you listen to Fresh Air, Terry Gross? I love Fresh Air, Terry Gross. Democracy Now, democracynow.org, The War and Peace Report. I'm Amy Goodman.

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150.428 - 175.841 Trixie Mattel

Do you watch Democracy Now? I highly encourage you to do so. I listen to... It's a watch. I'm a big bat pod save America faggot. Okay. So I love that. I'm sure they'd be happy to have you on. Thursday, I'm doing a live show with John Lovett. It's a nice typewriter. Lovett or Lita. So I got tickets to the stage version of Paranormal Activity.

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176.081 - 177.803 Katya Zamolodchikova

Okay. What is this?

178.484 - 181.187 Trixie Mattel

I was like, I've never seen a horror play before.

Chapter 4: What are Trixie's thoughts on attending a stage show of Paranormal Activity?

181.572 - 184.075 Trixie Mattel

I love the Parallel Activity series. I love that.

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184.095 - 184.776 Katya Zamolodchikova

You do?

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184.796 - 201.515 Trixie Mattel

You like found footage? All that greens? And I thought if there's a stage version, it has all these amazing reviews. Be like, oh my God, it's so scary. And I said, oh, I would love to be scared. So I went online. I looked up tickets and I like a good ticket seat. I'm sorry. If I, I always sort the seats by closest first. I like to sit as close as I can. I want to see tears.

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201.535 - 218.92 Trixie Mattel

I want to see the, you know, you want to get spit on by Jonathan Groff. Yes. And some people like to sit for their back. If I can get an affordable seat in the front, I will go for it. What's affordable? So get this. Mateo says, well, I was in the mezzanine in the middle and my tickets were like $240. I don't know how this happened. I got the front row two center tickets for 160 each.

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219 - 230.42 Trixie Mattel

I don't know how it happened. Faggot. Queen. Maybe they kind of hacked my iPhone and saw pictures of my fat cock. No, they were like, she just had a camera up her pussy. Right. We need to throw her a bone.

Chapter 5: How does Trixie describe the plot of the Paranormal Activity stage show?

230.46 - 249.345 Trixie Mattel

Well, that's paranormal activity. It's above normal for sure. No, the camera. Oh. Found footage. That's Periscope. Remember Periscope? I do. You on drug speaking French on Periscope. Oh my God. What a time. Well, not only that, fully psychotic. I know. Fully psychotic. And full French.

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249.325 - 269.646 Trixie Mattel

with urgency with 100% seriousness like you're an actress on actors and I was down by MacArthur Park when did the girls used to show up at your house that was way way way back that was in Boston I was just thinking about that actually they were like hey we're down the street bringing you pizza I was like weird really weird but I'm the dumbass who like you know would live stream outside my home

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270.284 - 290.994 Trixie Mattel

And I lived above a bar. No, that's, that's, that's, she deserved it. What was she wearing? Was she drinking? Thank you. Okay. Thank you. So paranormal activity. So I go front seat. I go and I show my thing and they go, um, lucky you. Your seat's right in the front, the very middle. So me and my boyfriend. Walk up, oh yeah, hello. So we sit and it's starting and I'm all excited.

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291.014 - 306.932 Trixie Mattel

I'm excited, I'm excited, I'm excited. Lights go down. So it's an original story. It's nothing like paranormal activity other than it's a couple in a home where paranormal events are happening. And so it starts with this, I won't give away much. It starts with this couple who moved to London maybe two weeks ago from Chicago.

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307.572 - 316.503 Trixie Mattel

And it's sort of inferred, the guy's on the phone with his mom, being like, yeah, she's doing better. The female in the play, Lou, says, Depressed. Seeing things.

Chapter 6: What moments in the play does Trixie find particularly scary?

316.524 - 334.311 Trixie Mattel

Postpartum. Seeing things. No, she hadn't had a baby. They dream of having a baby. They're trying to furnish a nursery because they want a baby. She's on depression medicine. And it starts a little like he's like, you think you heard something? You should take your medicine today. The gaslighting. Which in movies, ghost movies, when no one believes you, which would be the natural thing. Yeah.

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334.331 - 355.085 Trixie Mattel

If you called me and said you were seeing ghosts, I would not believe you were seeing ghosts. No, no, no, no, no. And right you would be. Right you would be. Because... In the play, they just moved to London and they're staying in a little flat. And because paranormal things were happening in Chicago where they lived. And they kind of set up in the play. She's like, I know you don't believe me.

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355.586 - 373.372 Trixie Mattel

This has been happening my whole life. And like an entity has been after me. I feel it in presence my whole life all the time. And it's gone better and worse. And right now it's been worse. Okay. And it starts with him not really believing it. I'm kind of spoiling part of the play. And so if you want to see Primal Activity play, just the magic of knowing nothing is amazing. Okay.

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373.813 - 391.626 Trixie Mattel

But for those of you who will never see it or just want to know the tea, and I don't want to say too much, but I will. Yeah. So you're not going to go. No. Today was, I think today is the last day they're in LA. They're going to London. I'm going to go to London to see it. It's worth it. First class flight. It's worth it. It was amazing. Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me.

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391.646 - 411.068 Trixie Mattel

So it starts with a few things like water turning on or like, oh, the Alexa turned on its own. Like the power's out, ha. Weird things. As a couple, you can tell they're in turmoil because they want to have a baby. Things start happening. And what I thought was going to happen was... Him sort of not believing her for a lot of the play. Early on, something happens that's so crazy. What?

411.389 - 429.04 Trixie Mattel

Where he comes home from work and she, things have been happening when she's alone. The lights are out. She's freaked out. And he goes to like, did you take your medicine today? And that turns into a fight. Because if you're a woman who's being haunted by real ghosts and your husband thinks that you're just a little sad. Thank you. You know, women being like, you should get on your meds.

429.06 - 429.901 Trixie Mattel

You're being a little crazy.

Chapter 7: What are Trixie and Katya's views on the effectiveness of jump scares in horror?

429.921 - 442.258 Trixie Mattel

It's your time of the month. Right. Yeah. You're hallucinating on the rack. So I'm just going to tell you, the stage magic in the show is so unbelievable. And so chilling. I've never been so scared in my life. I've never been more scared in my whole life.

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442.278 - 442.459 Katya Zamolodchikova

Tell me.

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442.479 - 449.929 Trixie Mattel

No movie, nothing has ever scared me. There's a part where they get in this fight and she puts on this robe and she's looking for her slippers and she's like going to go to bed because they get in this fight.

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451.011 - 451.371 Katya Zamolodchikova

Thank you.

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452.493 - 470.479 Trixie Mattel

And... He's on the phone with his mom and he's like, you know, mom, whatever. Like, yes. It's like the mom is very Southern and very overstepping. And, you know, he's like, you know, I don't appreciate you talking about her like that, whatever. And she comes back downstairs in her robe and she's got her hood pulled up and she's all covered with a blanket.

470.62 - 481.818 Trixie Mattel

She's got a pouty and he's like, I'm sorry. I hear you. I'm sorry. That was wrong of me. Let's just have a fresh start. He's talking to her and she turns to the kitchen away from the audience and she's cutting vegetables with a knife and And he's like talking and talking.

481.838 - 502.892 Trixie Mattel

He's like, you know, I read about this paranormal event that happened where these people swore that they were haunted and their animal died. And that's how they found out that there was a gas leak in the home and they were all hallucinating. It's crazy. It wasn't actually paranormal. It was a gas leak. And the stage is like a dollhouse. It's two levels, bedrooms or whatever. And...

505.133 - 515.268 Trixie Mattel

This was so scary. He's talking from the second level. She's in the kitchen. From the second level, you see her pop her head out and go, babe, who are you talking to? I knew it.

515.528 - 517.411 Katya Zamolodchikova

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it wasn't going to be her.

Chapter 8: How do Trixie and Katya discuss the impact of family dynamics during the holidays?

564.829 - 583.588 Trixie Mattel

She escaped the fire. And that's sort of the impetus of her seeing this entity was after her parents died. She's like, this thing is with her. Right. And she never told him. He didn't think she would marry her. He'd marry her. So then they call an investigator. The parental investigator comes and sets up a bunch of equipment. And then like an event happens again. That is so fucking crazy.

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584.716 - 607.638 Trixie Mattel

You want to know? Yes! No, I don't. I'm just going to go to bed. She tells the story of her parents dying. And, you know, they think they're talking to that ghost. Her parents, they're not. That gets really crazy and scary. There's a part in the second act that scared me to my fucking core. And if you guys are going to see the play, do not listen to this. Okay. Okay. Tune out. I'm tuned in.

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607.658 - 618.774 Trixie Mattel

So his mom, his overbearing Southern mother, who's very religious, the whole play, they're sort of like, his mom's a Bible thumper and his mom's like, maybe your wife needs to pray. You know, he's on FaceTime and he rigs up FaceTime at the beginning of the play on the TV that face the audience.

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618.794 - 635.691 Trixie Mattel

So whenever they're on FaceTime with the mom, they can see the mom and the actress is obviously backstage doing the call. Gotcha. Who is amazing. The acting was amazing. I'm in the front row watching tears, watching all of it. It was like, these people are television actors. It was serious. Oh, he's on the phone with his mom and his mom is like, it's getting a little serious on the phone.

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635.771 - 658.151 Trixie Mattel

The mom, the mom's getting a little mean and the pivot is so small to his mom being like, why don't you eat a bullet, Jimmy? Why don't you kill yourself and kill your wife while you're, I mean, it's, it's so scary. And then the door rings and he goes to open the front door. he's all the time. He thinks he's talking to his mom on the phone. He opens the front door. His mom shows up surprise.

658.191 - 673.907 Trixie Mattel

I'm here. I use my miles. So then you're like, Oh my God. So now she's here. And before the end of the second act, before the end of the second act, the ghost hunter runs out of the house. And it's like, if you have anyone in your life, you love, you will not let them come to this house because you're fucked. You've moved from Chicago. The ghost has followed you. You're fucked.

674.368 - 691.848 Trixie Mattel

So his mom's showing up. He's like, oh, my God, Mom, you've got to get out of here, right? And the mom means well. She's super Christian. She's like, I just want you to pray. She sits with him. He's crying. She's standing across the room. She's like, I think having Bibles in the house will even make this worse. Like, this is bad. And the mom and him are crying and praying and he's feeling better.

692.69 - 712.167 Trixie Mattel

So during the phone call, at the end of the phone call on the FaceTime, after she says bite a bullet and all that to her son and he's like freaking out, she goes on the phone, she goes, why don't you answer the door, Jimmy? And the doorbell rings. So that's when he answers his phone and it's his real mom. Scary. So then the mom is holding him and they're crying and he's sobbing.

712.207 - 729.527 Trixie Mattel

And it's this moment of like, I'm not really religious, but like his belief that things could get better. He's crying with his mom. His mom is really religious and they're hugging. And he was the audience are like, thank God. And then she looks at him and goes, answer the door, Jimmy. And the doorbell rings. It was so fucking scary. It was the most scared I've ever been in my life.

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