Introducing: The Kelly Mantle Show!
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Who are the executive producers of The Kelly Mantle Show?
Hi, it's Trixie. I just want to get on the pod and let you all know that Kat and I are executive producers of a hot and sexy new podcast, The Kelly Mantle Show, starring, you guessed it, Kelly Marie Mantle. You guys, we love Kelly. We've toured the world with Kelly. Kelly is the funniest, the prettiest, the smartest. And also in the best ways, the dumbest. She really has just been everywhere, done everything, knows everybody. And she is like completely humble and loves to make fun of herself and learn about the world. But like I said, she is gorgeous and stupid as well. So please enjoy that. We got approached about being EPs for her pod and it was an obvious yes because we love her. And to celebrate, we thought we'd share the premiere episode of The Kelly Mantle Show featuring the highly functioning Tammy Brown. Please enjoy.
Hello, I'm Kelly Mantle. Hello, I'm Kelly Mantle. Hello, I'm Kelly Mantle. And this is the Kelly Mantle Show. Won't you come inside the Kelly Mantle studio? Do you know I never know where I am, even though I always end up where I'm supposed to be? Isn't that extraordinary? To me, time is timeless. Space is spaceless. And age and numbers and years are just fears inching towards our death. After all, that's the only thing we all have in common is death. You know, we all get along at stop signs and stop lights, allowing each other to move according to law. Regardless of our beliefs, why can't we apply that to the real world? Isn't it wonderful? The world is ending and here we are pretending that everything's going to be just fine in these trumptuous times. And I'm okay with that.
Because I subscribe to Delusion. It's an app on my phone connected to my Venmo. And I won't mind if you tip me at Kelly Mantle. I'll use it for trips to Nice and the Isle of Grease. Charity. After all, what can you get a woman who has everything she's ever dreamed of? A gorgeous husband, an Oscars consideration, an episode of RuPaul's Drag Race. A podcast. Of course. You get her a podcast. What more could she ask for? She was dreaming like a Texan girl. A girl who thinks she has the right to everything. A girl who thinks she should have something extreme. So I have a podcast. Won't you join me? We are like totally podcasting. Doesn't it look like so profesh? I feel like we should be like on the 10 o'clock news. 10 o'clock news. LGBT LA news at 10. I'm your hostess.
Or they don't call them hostesses, do they? Why not? News correspondents. You will call them hostess if you feel like it. And you would be the weather girl. I can totally see Tammy Brown being the meteorologist. It's raining men. It's sunny out there so you can walk children in nature.
Hashtag not grooming. Don't you have a monologue or something?
Seriously, I think we need to normalize being news correspondents, people like us on CNN, honey, because we're like truth tellers. I don't want to be on CNN or anything like that. Well, you know what I mean. We should be news correspondents. Yes, I have a monologue. I have an introduction for our guest today. She's a lady of travel and leisure. Tammy Brown and I have been BFFs for many, many lifetimes. I don't know if it's been too long or not long enough. Well, she was working as Marilyn Monroe back in the day before she croaked, and then I was working in New York City, many a places, and had a good time. She ended up in Oklahoma. I went through Mexico, Costa Rica, and Texas. All the way down to New Orleans. It's nice. People always say, Kelly, what's it like being BFFs with Tammy Brown? And I always say, oh, she'll spin your head round and round, but you'll never find out what's in hers. It's an anomaly, a mystery. Is that your monologue? No, I'm just coming up with this.
You're so creative, I love it. Isn't she creative? That's why we hang out. It's like a crossword puzzle in the National Geographic magazine. You're like Amelia Earhart before the crash. Oh, before the crash and then the, what are those crabs? Coconut crabs. Yes. They were in the National Geographic, speaking of. That's how I found out about the coconut crabs. They say that the theory is that perhaps they tore her body apart and took her down in some little holes because they're finding human remains in some of those holes that the coconut crabs go in. Who, Amelia Earhart?
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