The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Kristen Schaal and the Relativity of Time & Collarbones with Trixie and Katya
Tue, 03 Jun 2025
Lords, Ladies, and Theydies! By royal decree and under the ever-watchful eye of our potentate and monarch King Emmanuel Podcast IV, Esq. — prepare thyselves for a presence most prodigious and profound! Now entering the Bald & Beautiful Grand Hall of the Dolls...we present to you: the Duchess of Deadpan, the Empress of Eccentricities, the undisputed Queen of Comedy, KRISTEN SCHAAL! Follow Kristen: @k.schaal and check out Kristen's podcast at: https://www.youtube.com/@TheExtraordinarians Traveling this Summer? Find exactly what you’re booking for at https://Booking.com Booking.YEAH! Book today on the site or in the app! Get the Rakuten app NOW and join the 17 million members who are already saving! Cash Back rates change daily, see https://Rakuten.com for details. Your Cash Back really adds up! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self! To get 6 bottles of wine for $39.99, head to https://NakedWines.com/BALD and use code BALD for both the code AND password! If you’re planning a trip this year, consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you’re away. Your home might be worth more than you think! Find out how much at: https://Airbnb.com/host Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT To check out our official YouTube Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/TrixieAndKatyaClipsYT Don’t forget to follow the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast If you want to support the show, and get all the episodes ad-free go to: https://thebaldandthebeautiful.supercast.com If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: https://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast To check out future Live Podcast Shows, go to: https://trixieandkatyalive.com To order your copy of our book, "Working Girls", go to: https://workinggirlsbook.com To check out the Trixie Motel in Palm Springs, CA: https://www.trixiemotel.com Listen Anywhere! http://bit.ly/thebaldandthebeautifulpodcast Follow Trixie: Official Website: https://www.trixiemattel.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/trixiemattel Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trixiemattel Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/trixiemattel Follow Katya: Official Website: https://www.welovekatya.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/welovekatya/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katya_zamo Twitter (X): https://twitter.com/katya_zamo About the Podcast: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya features a pair of grizzled gay ghouls sitting on chairs, holding microphones, and discussing their fabulous lives in Tinseltown. (featuring occasional forays into movies, television shows, and air-conditioning) The New York Times called them models, moguls, actors, influencers, drag queens, RuPaul's Drag Race contestants, and even humanoids. If one thing can be said about these two preternaturally gorgeous queens' podcast, it's that Trixie and Katya find the sheer, unadulterated beauty of pure insanity. Tune in every week to experience the auditory pleasure that is The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya. #TrixieMattel #KatyaZamo #BaldBeautiful Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What are the best summer vacation booking tips?
This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking.yeah! From amazing exotic vacation rentals to beautiful hotels across the U.S., Booking.com has the ideal summer stay for absolutely anyone, even those who might seem impossible to please. Whether you're booking for yourself, your partner, or your oldest friend who's decided to get up every morning at 5 a.m.
to train for a triathlon as part of their midlife crisis, Booking.com can help you find exactly what you're looking for. From flights to hotels to cruises to local attractions, you can find anything. And if you're lazy like me, you can even book full tours. So this summer, say goodbye to the hassles of booking a trip and do it all in one place.
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Do I look like Pharrell? You wish. Come on, Pharrell. I'm just Pharrell. What is a beta cuck? Let's take a break.
I think it cancels each other out, right?
Oh, it's like a... Oh, I know what it is. Redundant. Yeah.
Redundant.
Redundant. I think cuckolding is I'm embarrassed because my wife is cheating in front of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And beta is like, wow, a man who is like... Feet. No, a man who's like not even better than me is embarrassing me. Okay.
Oh.
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Chapter 2: How does time perception affect our lives?
Which part of his face doesn't work?
Like this side.
She wants long blonde hair. She wants long blonde hair.
Oh, she's not coming. Oh, she's not coming. No, that's not good either. I went to New Zealand for spring break and I feel like I got it, but only in the car alone.
They say breeds with spreads. What did you just say? Breads with spreads.
That's the only thing I know how to do.
Kiwi. Mexican.
Did you see all the Lord of the Rings shits at the airport there? Yeah.
Crazy, huh? You have an airplane. It's just like Flying Eagle in the airport.
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Chapter 3: What are the pressures of beauty in the entertainment industry?
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That's $100 off your first six bottles at nakedwines.com slash bald. And use the code and password bald for six bottles of wine for $39.99. Can I ask you more questions about shadows? Yes, of course. Okay. So do you guys, I'm assuming cause it's a vampire program. Do you guys do like tons of night shoots?
yes what is it like all the all night i've never like overnight yeah oh i've only shot at night once in my life and i found it very disorienting to like go home when the sun is coming up it is yeah yeah i'll come home at seven o'clock and my daughter is like eating breakfast like good morning mom and i'm like okay just keep it down um i don't like it i think it's terrible i feel like especially if you're like be funny and it's 3 a.m yeah and then you're like
be funny you know i am my least funniest at when i'm asleep right yeah and what's the night before when you're trying to adjust your sleep schedule you're like laying in bed at 2 p.m what go to sleep bitch go to sleep yeah the big fat sleeping pill or what do we do i don't take sleeping pills but i'm gonna start i just recently started doing i do lots of coffees during the night shoot and then um
But yeah, I started doing gummies. I'm not working. It's a very dry time. I don't know if you've heard about this in Hollywood.
What do you mean?
I mean, a lot of people aren't working right now.
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Chapter 4: How is the cast of Last Man on Earth connected?
I probably shouldn't say that. I listen to the daily.
What is that?
It's a podcast that the New York Times puts out. And the guy who is the host, Michael Barbaro, he's supposed to be biased, but he does a nonverbal grunting sound to things. So tell me something good and tell me something bad and I'll react like he does.
Okay. I had my own car to drive here today. But there was really bad traffic. That's very unbiased. Very unbiased.
Take it off the mic. You're supposed to be a journalist. It's like the number one podcast. Everyone's downloading the news.
I would love to see him play poker. Oh, Christ.
Oh, my God. Would you watch? I actually watch Democracy Now every once in a while. I don't know what that is. Democracy Now with Amy Goodman? It's like, it's like very, I guess it's like very, the only neutral kind of like non-biased thing you can hope for in a news item.
The good news is right now, I mean, I watch the news every day and it's, even when it's delivered non-biased, the information is so absurd that if they're saying what's really happening, they're really not gonna come up with something else, because they're delivering like, hey, this isn't good or bad news, but your mom's dead. It's like, no, that's bad.
Oh my gosh, I have this thing, and I told him to his face, when you watch E! News with Mario Lopez, he'll be like, and this just in, da-da-da, died of an overdose two hours ago. Stay tuned, and we'll see the apartment. Extra, extra! I know! And I told him, I saw him at a movie premiere for a cartoon with his kids. And I said, I was like, I don't like it when you do that.
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