12 Days Of TCB: Christmas Trauma (And Birds)
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
I'll be home for Christmas. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Loads!
Ah, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the 12 Days of TCB. I'm Brian Grain. This is the Uncle Eddie to my Russ, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Here we are yet again in the studio helping you through the holiday season. I don't know how, but there's in some way, shape, or form, I'm sure we're helping you through the holiday season.
Just let us think that we're helping. Yeah.
Well, I mean, if people donate to our causes, then we're definitely helping. That's for sure. How else are we helping? I don't know. We're just putting more downloads into the universe for people to absorb. There you go. Thanks for joining us. Chrissy, do you know the origins of the 12 days? By the way, we just figured out that the 12 days of TCV is actually 13 days of TCV, since we don't know how to count on a calendar. So you're getting an extra episode. We'll actually be doing 13 days. Halfway through the 12 Days of Christmas, we realize that it's 13 days of TCB. Do you know the origins of the song 12 Days of Christmas? No, I don't think that I do. I don't think I do either. Let's learn together. Let's get learned.
The best known English version was printed in the Mirth Without Mischief, a children's book published in London in the 1780s. Uh, something about the Northern castle of Newcastle and the time and the partridge and the pear tree and all that other stuff. Uh, but can, here's the more important question. Can you name the 12 days of Christmas?
Oh gosh.
Come on. I know you can do it.
Uh, well, partridge in a pear tree.
Okay. That's easy one.
Okay. I mean, I'd have to kind of sing it. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me Partridge in a pear tree On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me Two doves. Two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. The third one is French horn. French hens. French hens.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
A diamond ring?
Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree. On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. What is it?
What are the origins of the '12 Days of Christmas'?
Five diamond rings. I knew there were rings in there.
Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. On the sixth day of Christmas, which would be today on the TCV. There's no 13 days. We're going to make up the 13th day. On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me.
Six flying nuns.
Oh, flying nuns. Six geese-a-laying. By the way, what? Six geese-a-laying? Only in Old English.
Uh-huh.
Is geese-a-laying, geese-a-laying an egg?
I was thinking that's a two-for-one deal.
Yeah. Six geese and a laying. Oh, six geese and a laying. There you go. Six geese a laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge and a pear tree. On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. I don't know. Seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree. What murderous motherfucker decided to write this goddamn torturous song? And now why am I singing it? Because I really don't know the lyrics, and I'm so interested to hear them. On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me eight rocks. I think this is some pervert that made this up.
Listen to this one. Eight maids a milking. Seven swans a swimming. Seven semen exes swimming. Six geese a laying. Five golden rings showers. Four calling birds, as in birds, women. Three French hens. We all know what that is. I mean, if you haven't tried a French hen in bed, then you don't even know. I've been French Hen and Astrid for years. That's how this gringo got Astrid. She was like, what is that?
And I was like, that is the French Hen. I hide on you like a little squatting bird.
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–2:45
2
What are the origins of the '12 Days of Christmas'?
2:45–25:05
3
How do traditional Christmas songs impact holiday spirit?
25:05–42:35
4
How can we help animals during the holiday season?
42:35–47:25
5
What are some of the worst Christmas gifts ever received?
47:25–52:38