Garrick's Plan

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The Commercial Break 1h 0m 4 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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What are the hosts' initial thoughts on TLC's reality shows?

Unknown 0:00
Give me your money for Jesus H. Christ. With just 19 payments of $29.95, you too can secure your place in the front row seat of the afterlife. I had born with an astigmatism, and it had graduated to cataracts. My cousin Jeffrey prayed for me on the phone Tuesday through Wednesday for two weeks, and I had woken up, and I opened my eyes. I never had known that my room had wallpaper. I'm walking in God's path.
Krissy Hoadley 0:33
I'm going to make you some bacon, eggs. Yeah, he's on $13 dating apps. Don't mind me. I'll be over here.
Unknown 0:39
Crispy bacon.
Krissy Hoadley 0:40
Crispy? Or not crispy? What? He just sent someone $3,000 on cash app?
Bryan Green 0:50
UPS notification. Three diamond rings showed up across South America yesterday. Characters playing defense. Hot defense. Hot defense.
Unknown 1:00
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Bryan Green 1:05
Till 30 in the morning! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my co-host and best friend, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.
Krissy Hoadley 1:14
Best to you, Brian.
Bryan Green 1:15
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Yes, it's short time here in Atlanta. Yes, it is. The fifth fake spring is finally over, and now we venture off into the netherworld of boiling here on Earth.
Krissy Hoadley 1:28
No, I saw it's going to be in the 30s.
Bryan Green 1:31
Oh, it is? Later this week. Oh, the sixth fake spring will be upon us later on this week. I'm about as accurate as that fucking weather channel.
Krissy Hoadley 1:38
I'll tell you what. It changes like by the hour.
Bryan Green 1:40
I look on the weather channel just yesterday, like three times, to see what the weather is going to be all about. Kids are out of school, and so we've got to find something to do with those rugrats. And I'm like, okay, it's going to be a beautiful week outside. No rain in the forecast. Wake up this morning, tornado warnings. severe weather you aren't even that good that you can get a 12-hour window semi-accurately i mean just like how are tornadoes appearing out of nowhere when yesterday there were no clouds in the forecast whatsoever i know and here i go again like an old fucking white man talking about the weather i won't bore you anymore we'll get on to the good stuff a lot of people said great things about our paul sheer interview paul nicest guy in show business even though that's the only guy we know in show business
Bryan Green 2:23
Except for, of course, Neil Brennan, whose episode just aired yesterday. NeilBrennan.com. Go watch his Netflix special out now. And thank you very much to Neil for showing up. And thanks for all the kind words about the Paul Scheer interview.
Krissy Hoadley 2:36
It's a really funny special.

How do conjoined twins navigate their unique relationship?

Bryan Green 2:37
We had as much fun as it sounded like we had. A lot of times we'll just pretend. But this time we actually had fun. So there you go. A lot of times we're just scared. So we just nervously laugh and ask silly questions. Like, which book do you like? Which book do you like to read on the road? But I will say this. Paul is one of the nice. We're scared. We're just scared. We're just scared of Paul Scheer.
Krissy Hoadley 3:05
No, he couldn't have been.
Bryan Green 3:06
I mean, he was so welcoming and nice. Paul was awesome. As was Neil. Neil was great, too. He was very generous with his time.
Krissy Hoadley 3:13
I was actually listening. I was laughing because I was listening to Paul's podcast that he does.
Unknown 3:21
How did this get made?
Krissy Hoadley 3:21
How did this get made? Yes. And they had a guest on that show. And the funny thing is that I never really heard the guest talk. It was mostly still the original people. Yeah, of course. Maybe that's what we should just do.
Bryan Green 3:34
I think that's what we do do with some of the interviews.
Krissy Hoadley 3:37
Just leave the guest out. We'll just keep talking.
Bryan Green 3:40
Yeah, when I get scared, I just look at you and say something. I'm like, I'm scared. I don't know what to ask next. So why don't I just... They're being mean to me, Chrissy.
Krissy Hoadley 3:49
He's being mean to me.
Bryan Green 3:52
Yeah. It's got to be a very complicated thing to bring four voices in the room.
Krissy Hoadley 3:58
They've already got three.
Bryan Green 4:00
Forget about it. I mean, I was talking to Christina, who was editing the Paul Scheer episode last week. And if it sounds a little odd how that episode cut off, it's because we didn't realize that Paul had dropped off. He froze and dropped off at the end, if you remember.

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