Chapter 1: What humorous experiences does Bryan share from his past?
So I played with myself next to 100 other women playing with themselves today and laughed with them and cried with them and screamed with them and became just feral fucking animals in the jungle in Costa Rica. And I feel so bad. So go masturbate with your friends.
On this episode of The Commercial Break. You take some donuts and some Doritos and you put them into a cauldron. Whabam! You have Buck.
I take a little Seagull Sibling, a little LSD and some Ayahuasca.
Whabam! We're in for the final night of hunting. I'm the forest quantum witch. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Tommy to my Tang, Kristen Joy. Hopefully best to you, Kristen.
Oh, best to you, Brian.
Maybe a Tang. Maybe a Tang. Best to you. We just got back from Tang. Oh, yeah. We had a Tang twang. You know what a Tang twang is?
It's a cosmopolitan with orange juice.
It's a Tang twang. I love it. Little Rochambeau, baby. Rochambeau. Oh, how I wish.
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Chapter 2: What is the significance of the Rusty Nail in the episode?
How I wish we had been graced with the knowledge or the presence of a Tommy Tangs within 20 miles of us. We did a little bit more digging after hearing about Tommy Tangs and what a great date night spot. Hey, listen, everybody liked the Tangs. Everybody was out at the Tangs.
Yeah, I guess he's a famous Thai chef, and he opened his own spot out in L.A. on Melrose.
And they used to say, Tuesday at Tangs, baby. Meet Tuesday at Tangs. Let's go. Let's hit it. We would have said that. We would have been every day at Tangs. Oh, man, I would have been at Tangs. You would have. God, fuck.
man I love Tang you know there were a couple of people that were total regulars oh you know there were a lot more than a couple people there were a bunch of out of work actors and actresses and guys who had made like B movies like directors of B movies back in the 70s who just found themselves bellied up to the
tang bar to the tang bar top and just hanging out regaling people with stories of old hollywood i mean tangs just i can only imagine i bet that place that the walls could talk i want to hear about tank is there a documentary about tanks everything is a documentary i think i have a documentary I need a documentary about Tommy Tangs.
That's what I need. I know, that would be very interesting.
Oh, Chrissy, I'm just so disappointed that I never got to a Tangs. I mean, really. I've been to the Rusty Nail, though, and the Rusty Nail might be a good substitute for Tommy Tangs.
That place finally closed. Jeez.
It did. Yeah, the one here on Roswell Road in Atlanta. Is the one out on Beaufort Highway still open? Or not Beaufort, whatever that is. Yeah, I think it's Beaufort Highway.
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Chapter 3: How does the podcast review the Mountain Monsters episode?
Oh, I thought there was just one.
No, there's two of them. The Roswell Road one, I believe, was the original. That opened in the 70s, 80s?
Had to be.
Had to be. Because when you walk in there, the Rusty Nail was the diviest of dive bars. Some people will claim that Northside Tavern is the diviest of dive bars. But Northside Tavern, in its own way, is cosmopolitan.
Yeah, they have live music.
Eric Clapton is played by it. It's not that divey, right? It's a dive bar, no doubt. And it's like, you know, you're listening to some of the greatest musicians on earth make their way to Northside Tavern. But there's pool tables in the middle of the dance floor. I mean, and there's a bar that barely looks like a bar. It looks like someone built it with their own two hands on a Saturday afternoon.
That's right. I think that's probably the case. Out of old wood scraps from the back of a Home Depot.
The bathrooms are crazy. Oh, yeah. There's graffiti everywhere.
It's terrible.
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Chapter 4: What are the characteristics of the Raven Mocker discussed?
Not because of good music, but because of really bad cover music. Did they have live bands there? Oh, yes. What? At the Nail? Shit. Yeah.
They used to put them right out on the patio. It had the circular bar, right?
It did have a circular bar.
Yeah. Rachel and I bellied up to that bar one time.
I can't think of how many hours of my life I wasted at the Rusty Nail. Yeah. Smoking, drinking. Smoking, drinking, drugging, doing whatever. Listen, I've said this about a number of places in Atlanta, and it remains true about all those places. Club Anytime, Backstreet, and the Rusty Nail, and the Speakeasy that used to be here in Buckhead. there are only two reasons to go to the rusty nail.
You had drugs or you needed them. That was it. That was the only two reasons to go. But once you got, like, once you kind of got in the... And it was also very cliquish. Like, there were people who were hardcore nailheads. You know what I'm saying? They were the head of the nail. I mean, they were like the hammers. They were. And...
if those bar seats were almost reserved, basically reserved, and there was a couple open for randos and you had to work, you had to earn your way into a bar seat because it didn't matter what time you went there.
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Chapter 5: What funny moments arise during the hunting segment?
If you went there at 12 fucking 30 on a Tuesday afternoon, the people who had reserved bar seats were already there drinking. And there was one lady, and I'll never forget her. I won't say her name here. God rest her soul if she's still alive. I think she passed away. She was in her late 60s, and she was the head blow dealer for the Rusty now.
And I think to a large extent, the manager, the general manager, just put up with it because she knew, like everybody knew, there's no way a place like this survives unless there's a cocaine dealer in here. No way. No way people would go in there for no reason. It was, I mean... I don't know.
I think at one point the cushions on the, whatever you call them, the boots were made purely of fry grease, spilled Jaeger. cocaine, and cigarette smoke. It was like literally that was the place. The carpets had never been changed. The walls had never been changed. It used to be, they didn't do this by the time I started getting there, but when they first opened, all of the walls were wood.
There was wood paneling on the inside of it. Yeah. And at each table, they would have a wood burner, like one of those things where you could carve your name into the wood with a hot gun. It's just like a thing that would heat up to the surface temperature of the sun, and then you just burn your name into it. So no matter where you sat, there was always something had been written by somebody.
And then people just started using markers after a while. But they had dart boards that had never been changed. Like you'd throw the dart and it would just fall. It'd go right into the bullseye, but it'd just fall down because there were a million holes in the middle of it. Never changed it. Of course, they had one of those, not Topgolf, but Golf Pro, whatever that fucking game is.
Yeah, yeah, what was that? Golden Tee.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts react to the supernatural elements in the show?
Golden Tee, that's right. Golden Tee, and that was a hot ticket. If you could manage to scoot your way into the Golden Tee, you'd be there for days because you were coked up and nothing better to do.
Exactly.
Right, but that lady at the end of the bar.
There was a bar in Nashville that was very similar.
Yeah, but it was tiny, too. It was like 1,000 square feet. There were like five booths. four tables in the middle, two bar tops, two bar tables, and then that circular bar that maybe sat 20 people, maybe sat 20 people. And then there was a couple of televisions, and those televisions were the furthest thing from flat screen you had ever seen. They still had UHF dials on them.
You could tune in UHF channels on those things. And so you'd have to work your way into the respect of the people who were there. Yeah, you would. Or you'd walk in there and people would look at you strange. They would. They'd be like, who's this kid? And when you were young, they'd look at you a certain way. But eventually, you'd get an introduction to the dealer.
You'd have to go through other people. And then eventually, you'd get the introduction to the actual lady. And then you could just kind of go up and talk to her yourself. But this went on for years and years and years. I'll never forget. There was a guy who would... When we worked at the restaurant across the street from the Rusty Nail, the Trattoria, the Italian restaurant.
Chianti Classico.
Chianti Classico. We had a bar manager there.
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Chapter 7: What are the hosts' opinions on the authenticity of Mountain Monsters?
We had a manager there, not a bar manager, but a general manager.
Okay, so look, I'm sorry. I was looking at Rusty Nail while you were talking, and they closed. They were open for 50 years.
So they did open in the 70s.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow. After 50 years on Beaufort Highway.
Okay, and then they closed the one in Roswell, and I think that one was open probably equally as long. So... When we worked at that Trattoria, there was a manager there. His name was Mike. And he was this slick talking guy from Chicago, mustache and everything, salt and pepper hair, kind of like diminutive, small guy. But he was a sober guy. He had been sober for like 10 years.
And he was like hardcore sober, like preaching the AA thing all the way. You know, ah, you kids are going to get yourself in trouble running all around like that. And we'd be like, okay, okay, whatever. He fell off the wagon one time.
Oh, no.
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Chapter 8: What closing thoughts do the hosts share about their experiences?
Relapse is part of recovery. You don't worry about it. You know, I got it. Don't worry. I'll be sober in a couple of days. Okay. So this Bender went on for quite some time, like a couple of weeks. It was a Bender. He'd come in hammered at work. He'd be drinking behind the bar. He'd go back to the nail. He had a wife and kids, too. Drove around a Lincoln town car. That's the kind of guy this was.
Right. Always dressed nice. Smokes it never without a cigarette in his mouth. Like just classic Chicago guy. Chicago guy. And one time I was staying, I was living with these dancers, these strippers. I was living with these dancers. I had just moved in a couple weeks ago. It's like 4, 5 in the morning, and the phone rings. And we're up. Of course we're up. We're up. Phone rings.
One of the dancers answers it, and she goes, Brian, it's for you. And I had just moved in, so I didn't even know anybody knew the number. And I was like, hello? Ready? Hey there, Brian. It's Mike. Oh, hey, man. Mike. Hey, man, listen, how you doing? Yeah, I'm good. How'd you get this number? One of your friends gave it to me and just giving you a call. Okay, thanks, Mike.
Hey, listen, you doing all right? Yeah, you just asked me that. Is everything okay? Yeah, I'm okay. You okay? Yeah, I'm fine. All right, cool. Listen, you remember how one time you told me you could get like a couple pounds of cocaine from somebody? No. Yeah, remember we were talking that one time you told me you could get me a couple pounds of cocaine.
All I had to do was like call you and figure it out for me. No, Mike, I don't ever recall telling you that I could get you any amount of cocaine, let alone pounds of cocaine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember we had to nail that one time and you said there was that girl at the bar and she could, you know, she hook you up with a couple pounds of cocaine. No, I don't. So you've never done cocaine.
You don't buy or sell cocaine?
No.
No, I don't. Okay. All right. Well, listen, try and make some calls for me and call me back at this number. He's like giving me a number. Exactly. And I hang up the phone and I'm like, what the?
fuck was that yeah so i tell the girls what just happened and they're like he got busted and he's trying to roll over on somebody and he's trying to roll over on you and i was like whoa people really hate me that's fucked up that's fucked up oh my god
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