Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Oh, and remember, next Friday is Hawaiian Shirt Day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.
On this episode of the Commercial Break...
I don't think any doctor diagnoses this. I think people self-diagnose. They do it by looking at the same website I'm looking at. Oh, yeah, I got a fear of the figure eight. I got a fear of... Hang on, I just learned that I have gagaphobia, which is the fear of f***ing my wife. So if you don't mind, I'm going to go to the shoe show.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is the temporary Tina co-host. Best to you, Tina. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. How are you doing?
I'm doing great.
Yeah, you look great. Hey, thanks.
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Chapter 2: What are common phobias and how are they categorized?
Yeah, I like that blue color on you. It looks good. And the glasses, that's a whole thing you got going on there. Like hot librarian. MILF or something like that.
You got to say age appropriate.
It's certainly age appropriate. Yes. I learned that recently, but we'll move on from that. Do you have a phobia? Do you have phobias? Do you have things that you fear? Deep water. Deep water? Deep water. Like ocean? Yep. So you don't want to be there? No. So cruise not good for you?
I've been on them. You know, if I can see land, I'm a lot happier.
Okay, so when you're on a cruise, are you okay to sleep at night? Do you feel like everything's okay?
Yeah.
If I'm with someone I trust. Is it like being on a dinghy in the open water kind of thing? Yeah, no way. Or thinking about swimming in the ocean?
I would have a panic attack and die before we even made it out far enough for me to not be able to touch.
You know... Up until recently, I hadn't done a lot of open water ocean swimming. But over the last five or six years, since we've been overseas a number of times, near the Mediterranean and Spain and other places, I found that we would go on a boat ride or whatever, and the captain inevitably stops in some beautiful location. But it's open water. I mean, it's like you're out in really deep water.
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Chapter 3: How do self-diagnosed phobias impact people's lives?
I don't know how deep, but it's very deep. It's deeper than I can see the bottom.
They still put you in a boat to take you to land deep.
Yes, that's exactly right. They put you in a boat, they drive around, and they stop at some cove. But the cove in and of itself is deep water. The waves are rolling and rocking. And I don't love that sensation of swimming out in the open water, but I don't have a fear of... I would rather be in the lake or a pool, but I'm okay. Like I'm not, you know, it doesn't like paralyze me.
Would you be paralyzed by that kind of activity?
I've done that. Like the catamarans and the Bahamas and stuff like that. That's okay. If I can see land, I'm okay. It's when it's like so deep, the water's black, you know, and there's no land in sight in every direction. I feel very insecure.
I think I'm with you on that. I don't mind cruises because the cruise ships are so big. Yeah. I know that there's always a chance something's going to happen. Yep. And you hear a lot, you hear all the horror stories, but the truth is like the cruise ships these days, they're so big. I think it's unlikely they would just capsize really quickly and I would be fallen to my death. Right.
But that, who is that fucking moron who took the people out to the Titanic on that little fucking tin can he had? Remember that guy?
Yeah. Nope.
I don't even remember the name. I don't remember his name. The Titan submarine. That, to me, is nightmare fuel. Absolutely.
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Chapter 4: What is Teresa Caputo's new TV show about?
It says that they had a fear of birds pecking their head open and eating their brains.
Where did you even come up with this idea?
I don't know. Like Birds the movie? The old Hitchcock movie?
I don't like the meat-eating birds. I love songbirds.
Like vultures?
I'm a songbird person. Yeah, no owls, no eagles, no falcons.
One of my kids has a real fear of owls. And I think they're so cute. She does not agree.
I don't want it coming near me.
Yeah. And we were like walking outside the other day to the car. She's like, Daddy, an owl. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, babe. There's no owls around here. And she's like, owl, Daddy, owl, please help. But she was like trying to get in my arms. I was like, oh, hon, it's okay. It's okay. There's no owls. I promise.
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Chapter 5: How does Teresa Caputo's show compare to her previous work?
Stupid. Yeah. It was after school. We ran off and there was like a stream, like little woods in a stream down by the school. So we ran down to the stream. Dusk. Sun's going down. Probably winter months, I would imagine. And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, an owl came swooping down and grabbed her hair. And I screamed like a little chicken. I mean, I was like a little weasel running out of there.
I mean, I grabbed her. I was like, let's go!
They're terrifying, I think. I mean, I watched one land. It landed on my neighbor's deck. And when it hit the deck, it was so big, it shook the rail. And I just went inside. I'm like, I don't need to be this close to you.
We have these family of red hawks that live behind the house. Love them. Love watching them. They're so beautiful. And they've got wingspans that are like 10 feet long.
Yeah, you can feel them. It's intimidating, yeah.
And so I'm always hoping that Blue will accidentally be scooped up by one. Blue doesn't know how to go outside. I've been thinning her up, hoping that that family of redhawks. But I've seen those redhawks take away squirrels. Yeah. Like baby squirrels, chipmunks, all kind of shit. Like they've just grabbed them out of the yard.
I love seeing them because I hate the rodents. So I like seeing those birds.
So it made me think, yeah, when they pick up those rodents and the rodents are like...
one time I saw it and one of my kids was looking out the window with me and the kid goes my kid goes oh my god oh my gosh daddy the squirrel and I was like cycle of life kid that's right cycle of life you just gotta deal with it we got too many of those anyway so then he goes he goes what are they what is the bird gonna do with him
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Chapter 6: What are the ethical concerns surrounding psychic mediums?
That's dinner time. It's dinner time for the bird. So I thought I'd go through a list of some of these phobias, like the 50 most common phobias. I'm not going to go through all of them. We'll just pick and choose what we want. Because I think there are a lot of people out there. I don't think I have an irrational fear. Like, I don't think I fear something irrationally. Heights is my biggest fear.
I call it a healthy respect for heights, a healthy respect for the sea and tight places. I don't like cavern that's spelunking.
No, no, no, no.
The movie Descent, it took me three sittings just to get through it because I can't watch people getting stuck in tight places. Like, I physically react to that.
Yeah. Yeah. I sometimes, because I'm a glutton for punishment, I also, I'm not claustrophobic, but I would never go spelunking. I would never go, even crazier, the cave divers, the guys and girls who go exploring unexplored areas of this earth that are not only deep, small, and dark, but then have water in them.
If it's not on my Waze GPS, I'm not going.
I'm with you. I don't need to be under the ground. I figure I'll be there soon, so I don't need to be under there prematurely.
No, no. Yeah, my boyfriend's grandson was watching a YouTuber who buried himself alive for seven days.
No, no, no, no.
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Chapter 7: How do personal experiences shape beliefs about the afterlife?
That will drive you insane.
Yeah, I don't know if I could mentally handle it.
You can, but you got to dig deep. A deep meditative state.
Lots of gummies.
we were talking to reggie watson he was he was telling us about his experiences with ketamine and uh i kind of liken the isolation tank to a k-hole a k-hole yes i do i totally there is a certain moment when all of the panic and fear your brain just doesn't take it you literally disassociate and it's like right there that the that the rubber meets the road right then
you understand why people do this for spiritual experiences? Because you're having one, but it's pure panic-induced. And if you go into one of those floating ones, forget about it. You're just like, you can't even feel your body. It's a totally weird sensation. And I would love to do it and then record it, but then am I going to be the weird guy who's bringing a bunch of recording equipment?
You know what I'm saying? Like, why is that guy going over there?
You understand this is an isolation.
Yeah. It's like these... I don't know. I'm not going to say anything purely negative about this, but I will say it kind of defeats the purpose. Chrissy and I were talking about how I saw someone film for Instagram an ayahuasca ceremony with a bunch of people sitting in a circle drinking ayahuasca. And I was like, why are you posting this on Instagram? This should be something that is sacred.
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Chapter 8: What humorous anecdotes are shared about phobias?
They know their body's reacting with a fear state to keep you away from it.
That I can understand, but that is not an irrational fear. That is a perfectly rational fear.
That's medical, yeah.
If something can... I have a fear... If it can kill you, yeah. I have a fear of people putting a gun to my head. That is a rational fear. That's right. Right? Arithmophobia, which is the fear of numbers. How do you even get around life? I don't know.
Fear of numbers. And why would you be afraid of numbers?
I have no idea.
I love numbers.
Astrophobia, which is the fear of thunder and lightning.
Oh, I love it.
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