Chapter 1: What were the highlights of the Oscars 2025 recap?
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Let's listen now to what the doctor had to say to the residents experiencing gastrointestinal issues.
A flame is going to come out because it will be on fire and nobody will ever stick a penis in your butthole again.
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On this episode of The Commercial Break... Listen, if we were in the wine cooler business, that's where it's at. We're going to do a merch drop. I'm not even going to say when because then it will never happen. But we're going to do a merch drop and, like, Astor and I are talking about it. And now I'm thinking wine coolers. Why not? Yeah, let's do it.
Let's drop wine coolers and then some weird hangover remedy made of beet juice. Beet juice and colloidal silver.
Yeah.
I like it.
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Chapter 2: Why does Conan O’Brien seem to never age?
But I noticed that the music, the actual backing track and her lips were not 100 percent aligned. The cameras did not show close ups when she was moving her lips in while she was doing the lyrics. But then I also noticed when Cynthia came out to do the Wicked song, you know, Defying Gravity, that she was singing. It appeared that she was singing. You could hear the breaths.
You could hear the lips. You could see that Ariana was singing.
That's like your favorite pastime. It is my favorite pastime.
I love to determine whether or not someone is lip syncing, and I like to call it out. I don't have any problem with it because it's the Oscars, and you don't want to fall flat on your face during the Oscars, especially if you have a cold. Listen, this is coming from the former singer of 33 Penis, okay? I'm not saying that I could do a better job.
I'm just sharing with you that that's what I observed. I observed that she was lip-syncing during Somewhere Over the Rainbow and not during Defying Gravity. So Cynthia comes out. It's mainly a Cynthia song, that Defying Gravity. There's a few lines for Ariana. She fucking nailed it. I mean, 100% chills up your spine, nailed that song, every note of it.
And that to me, I'm convinced she's that girl has got a voice. Such a tiny little frame and such a huge voice comes out of it. I will share. Well, no, I'm not going to share that because then I'm going to get to comments and stuff like that. Brian, should you?
This is one of those moments when Brian goes, should you or will you regret this 10 days from now when you have a list of text messages beating you up about what you just said? Okay, I'm not going to share it. Never mind. You make your own judgment calls. But Cynthia has an amazing voice.
She brought the house down.
Everybody's standing up. And I thought to myself, okay, this is a great start to the Oscars. Let's keep it going as my children are screaming. My children are doing their own version of Defying Gravity in the background.
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Chapter 3: What makes the Oscars feel like a snooze fest?
And they go, oh, well, Mikey was really good. My opinion is that Demi Moore's role that she played was maybe not like an Oscar type of, it's not a traditional Oscar movie. It's a weird French film about people crawling out of their skin. Isn't that essentially what it is? No. Isn't it about a substance that she takes?
Well, yeah, it's I mean, for me, it was more about like the take on Hollywood and are just women in general, like aging and how if you had the opportunity to go back to being like a younger person.
self of you would you and so you take this pill the substance and then through that the there is a younger self that is born out of her body and so that's the grotesque part when you see the younger girl coming out coming out of her body right it's like crawling out of her own skin right so but let me ask you this like you saw a Nora and you saw yes substance which one was the more
Which one was, in your opinion, was the better performance?
I mean, the substance was more of like a shocking, you know. Yeah.
I think that's the point I'm making.
Right.
Like, I don't know that the shock value of the performance outweighs Mikey playing kind of this vulnerable, edgy, sharp.
Yeah, she was really good in that movie.
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Chapter 4: How does Bryan identify lip-syncing during performances?
I know it. I just know it. All right. I do have to also share that, you know, I liked the, they did a performance of The Wiz, which I thought was fine. Queen Latifah did a fine job. It was fine. And Ariana Grande and Cynthia and a couple other people in the front row started dancing, but the rest of the Academy didn't even bother to stand up and I mean, it's the whiz.
It's like, you know, I don't know. I thought it just showed just everybody in the audience is boring, too. None of them are standing up and dancing in this extremely soulful, you know, catchy song. Ariana and Cynthia figured it out. Why didn't everybody else stand up? You don't have to dance. You can just stand up and do a little, you know, head bopping.
But they didn't put any other great music in the show. I mean, you had the Bob Dylan biopic that was there. There's so much great music from some of these movies every year. You could have showcased some of this stuff, and instead you pick The Wiz? Really?
I mean, I know that Quincy Jones was winning an award, but The Wiz was like the only song besides the Wicked song that made any kind of impression on me whatsoever. There were only three songs played the entire time. The other one was... The other one was, I think it was another Wiz song. I think they did two Wiz songs. Two Wiz songs? The Wiz came out in 1971. It's 2025. I get it.
I get why you're doing it. I get the through line here. But I think you could have added some pop, some music, something to move the festivities along just a little bit. Because then in the end... The most boring thing that happened the entire night was Adrian Brody's insufferable six-minute acceptance speech.
Adrian did this 26 years ago when he won for the pianist, and then he did it again this time. He literally told them to shut the music off while he finished what he had to say, and then he had to say nothing! Not a fucking thing that meant anything. Be good to each other. Okay, that's great, Adrian. We already know that. We get it.
He basically made the same speech, 26 years difference, and just almost the same length. He beat out everybody else for the longest acceptance speech ever. Really? Ever. In the history of the Academy. Ever. And he only beat himself out for that particular award. He is insufferable. Patting himself on the back and talking about how acting is a tough job and it's a fragile profession.
I don't disagree, but this is like... There's millions of people across the world that are watching you. Like, I don't know. It just came across as very insuff... Like, very... Jerking himself off. And I didn't care for it. Adrian's a fine actor. I've seen him in a lot of stuff. And I like him when he's acting.
And I want to watch The Brutalist, but it's three and a half hours long.
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of Demi Moore being called a 'popcorn actress'?
TCB, wine coolers for teenagers. Yeah. We'll target teenagers for our sales. Yeah, you know. We'll get like a Joe CamelClic character going on so we can target the teenagers.
We'll sell them at the vape shop.
Yeah, I think due to doge deregulations, I think you can now market alcohol and cigarettes to kids.
Isn't that true?
Yeah, it's got to be. I don't know. Listen, if we were in the wine cooler business, that's where it's at. We're going to do a merch drop. I'm not even going to say when because then it will never happen. But we're going to do a merch drop and like Astor and I are talking about it. And now I'm thinking wine coolers. Why not?
Wine coolers.
Let's drop wine coolers and then some weird hangover remedy made of beet juice. Beet juice and colloidal silver.
Yeah.
I like it.
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Chapter 6: What led Bryan and Krissy to explore the drink business with TCB Coolers?
Measles is like chicken pox on fire.
It sounds really bad. Yeah, you do not want the measles. Your brain swells, I think, too.
Your brain swells. You get super fevers.
And you don't get rid of it.
No, it stays with your body the entire time. It's just like the chickenpox virus. It stays in you dormant, ready to come alive at the next, you know, shitty, stressful period in your life and attack you. It's not a good thing. And, you know, it can morph. It can mutate. And that's why in the last hundred years or whenever they've started the measles vaccine, there have been few, if any,
Fatal cases of the measles. And now there have been six in a short period of time. And, you know, I think, listen. people can be wrong and then they can be right. And you got to applaud them when they're right. Right. And so I do applaud the fact that RFK has come out and said, take the measles vaccine. It does save lives. I can applaud that. But I mean, all of the damage is already done.
There's like 168 people in Texas that have the fucking measles and most of them are children. And it's like, like some of my kids do not have their full course of vaccinations yet. And I, just sharing that I firmly believe in the science and every other doctor that I've talked to has said so.
The only people who have cautioned me against vaccines are people who don't wear shoes and smell like a dirty rat. Do you know what I'm saying? They're still looking for their career path at 67 years old. And that seems to be following fish in a van. So listen, whatever it is you personally choose to do, do it. That's fine.
But also there is this community aspect that is to be considered that if it if the measles mutates and becomes something we're not vaccinated against most of us, then it becomes a real shit show. And I think that is the concern now. It's like, yeah, yeah. Welcome to we're all going to God. Yes, this is idiocracy live. It's happening to us live. It's fucking insane. Speaking of idiocracy.
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Chapter 7: What details emerged about the recent measles outbreak?
TCB needs your help. If you love the show, do us all a favor and share. Sharing is caring. And we know you care. Don't you? Well, don't you? Ooh, that was some childhood trauma. Rearing its ugly head. Do you want to be on the show? Leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3822. And you could be the next TCB disembodied voice. Ooh, what'd you do today? I was a disembodied voice.
You know, that sounds more dangerous than it actually is. Find us on Insta at The Commercial Break. On the web at tcbpodcast.com. And all the episodes on video are available the same day at youtube.com slash thecommercialbreak. I'm going to go help Brian get back up the stairs while you listen to the sponsors. And then we'll all meet back here and get back to this episode of the commercial break.
I'll take a raise now. Bitches. Bye.
Yeah, so there's my Tuesday afternoon. Okay. There's my Tuesday afternoon. Yeah, it was – and then it kind of like – it stuck with me for the rest of the day.
Of course it did. Right?
I'm replaying it in my head. Yes. My daughter is scared. She didn't like say a word to the attire right home.
Yeah.
And I was like, listen, honey, this is a little hard to explain. But I drove by those guys asking me to stop because I didn't want to get into any more of an argument with them. And I'm sorry that you had to see that. And even daddy probably could have been a little – A little cooler head. Like 99% of the time, I'm really not that guy. Like I don't go around yelling at people.
I'm actually quite the opposite if you find me in real life. I'm just kind of – I'm not quiet, but I certainly wouldn't be the guy yelling in the middle of a grocery store or something like that. But, man, it just all happened so quickly. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I got nervous that my daughter was in the back.
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Chapter 8: What happened during Bryan's encounter with the tree workers?
I hope this is playing just like it's playing for me. And that is what a terrible fucking idea. But you know what, Chrissy? There is a dum-dum born every second. There are a lot of people on this earth, and most of them are not well. And some people will follow Casey Anthony, thinking that she's innocent. Some people may not even know who she is.
I'm sure.
And she will have her moment in the sunlight. And that's the part that drives me crazy. Just like that OJ Funkin' Simpson. OJ Funkin' Simpson. I watched another documentary.
Oh, I saw that there's another documentary. I was like, not going there.
I am so sorry. down the rabbit hole with anything OJ Simpson. And I don't know why. I think because it consumed such a large part of my formative years. Like it was like two and a half years of all of our lives. wrapped up and ensconced in nothing but the O.J. Simpson trial, right?
And just like everybody else on earth at the time, we were all big fans of The Naked Gun and all the movies that he was in. You know, everybody loved O.J. Simpson. And then to think for a second that he would essentially brutally murder these two people was a crazy idea at first. Then the slow chase and then all the
drama and then the trial and the backdrop of the rodney king and it's like it's a very weird period of time in american history pop culture certainly but that oj simpson went twiddling away free as a bird and he couldn't even keep himself out of trouble for like more than 15 minutes he got arrested again Yes, for like kidnapping. He brought a gun to get some of his signed helmets back.
I mean, OJ, honestly, if I had one piece of advice for OJ, if I'm a friend of OJ's, it's like, dude, God just kissed you on the forehead. Never even think about jaywalking again. Don't even think about it. Go to the golf course. Make new friends. Live your life. be a good citizen, never get in the crosshairs of anything legal again. And yet he tempted fate over and over and over again.
He did that. Remember Fox bought that. If I did it documentary, he wrote a book about, OJ Ballsy, Ballsy OJ, wrote a book called If I Did It. And then he wrote how he would do it if he did it, if he murdered his wife and Ron Goldman. And the crazy part was that it didn't matter because he was acquitted. So no one could say anything to him.
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