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The Commercial Break

TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook

01 Oct 2024

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is Kelsey Cook's unique background in comedy?

0.031 - 37.395 Unknown

High school I went to, our mascot was the Blackhawks. And it takes a linguistic specialist to tell the difference between somebody saying Blackhawks and Blackhawks. And let me tell you, it was pretty wild growing up, going to football games and watching a dozen cheerleaders shout to a stand of parents, We love Blackhawks, yes we do, we love On this episode of The Commercial Break...

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38.118 - 58.905 Unknown

So I'm going up in like a full costume trying to do this funny, like, like perform a eulogy of myself. I was this whole weird thing. And like, I'm just getting crickets. I mean, I have no idea what I'm saying, but that's how much I loved it. It was like so obvious that I like figured out what I wanted to do. Cause I just, it was making me so happy.

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58.945 - 60.648 Bryan Green

So you wanted to do magic.

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60.748 - 65.394 Unknown

So I was like, this is my calling. I'm going to be a magician.

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66.135 - 66.235

Yeah.

66.215 - 68.243 Unknown

Pulling a rabbit out of the hat.

Chapter 2: How did Kelsey Cook become a foosball hustler?

68.263 - 75.55 Unknown

Cool in any language. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.

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78.415 - 87.448 Krissy Hoadley

Oh, yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy. Totally best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian.

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87.468 - 104.792 Bryan Green

Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How are you? Thanks for joining us on a TCB Infomercial Tuesday. Their good friend, Kelsey Cook. Kelsey Cook. I love her. It's like no syllable is wasted in that name. Kelsey Cook.

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Chapter 3: What are the challenges of being in a relationship with another comedian?

104.812 - 112.381 Bryan Green

Yes. But did you know that Kelsey Cook is also a yo-yo and a foosball champion, as well as being a very talented comedian?

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112.461 - 113.422 Unknown

I can't wait.

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113.502 - 113.782 Bryan Green

I know.

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114.243 - 115.504 Unknown

I can't wait to talk to her about that.

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115.824 - 125.335 Bryan Green

It really is quite crazy. I'm going to ask her about this, but the fact that there's even a professional foosball league... Is it foosball or foosball?

125.975 - 127.497 Unknown

I say foosball, but I don't know.

127.517 - 138.526 Bryan Green

Foosball. Foosball. But I get a lot of things wrong around here, so just don't listen to me. KelseyCook.com, you can catch tickets to her latest tour. She's on a forever tour. She'll be in a town near you.

Chapter 4: How does Kelsey balance her comedy career and personal life?

138.546 - 159.061 Bryan Green

She's going to be at Dania Point. Yes, she is. Dania Beach Improv, actually. Yes, she is. She's there like the day after Thanksgiving, and that's Saturday. Friday... I just want to look at this because I want to say how... It's always a good party weekend. They call it here the Dania Improv. That's all they say. Not Dania Beach Improv, but the Dania Improv at Dania Beach.

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159.502 - 168.377 Bryan Green

So maybe there is no Dania Point, and Brian just made that up in his head a long time ago. Yeah, the point? I don't know. I think of a beach. I think of it as if there's a point. And what point is that?

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Chapter 5: What insights does Kelsey have about the Seattle comedy scene?

168.458 - 176.512 Bryan Green

I don't know. Some point out in the water. Yeah, yeah. Like they build a bridge, you know, whatever they call that, a boardwalk, and then you say, meet me at the point. I don't know.

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177.472 - 189.758 Bryan Green

Yeah. Oh, anyway, Kelsey is a very talented comedian. She has a podcast, of course, with her lovely boyfriend. She's, you know, she's one of these that's got a boyfriend that's also a comedian.

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189.858 - 196.712 Unknown

Yeah, I think it, you know, I think that makes things work. Yeah. Because the other one kind of understands then what they're...

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196.692 - 215.037 Bryan Green

Yeah, because when you are on the road that much, when you're out there and you're on the road and you're doing 150 nights a year, that's a really tough way to live. And I don't I've asked her and I did a long distance relationship for the first six months of our lives, eight months of our relationship or whatever.

Chapter 6: How does Kelsey describe her experience with sobriety?

215.378 - 228.64 Bryan Green

That was extremely difficult. But we would get like two or three weeks with each other every other month or every third month. So when you're just like, hey, honey, how you doing? Throw a load of laundry in and then you're off to the next place. That's got to be really difficult.

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228.981 - 243.927 Bryan Green

And so I would imagine having a boyfriend that does it also is probably just a little bit easier because at least they understand what you're going through. Maybe Astrid would like me out on the road 150 nights a year. Chrissy and I were talking about something the other day and she goes, do you want to do standup comedy?

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244.027 - 261.606 Bryan Green

And I said, listen, if I was going to do standup comedy, this is not the time in my life to do standup comedy. I can't be away from the house 150 nights a year. Astrid would fucking kill me. She hates it when I'm in the studio for an hour after the kids go to bed. I think she's going to deal with me like taking a flight every five minutes to go. No.

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261.926 - 263.908 Bryan Green

Second of all, I probably wouldn't be all that good at it.

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Chapter 7: Why is Kelsey Cook 'horny for an airport'?

264.597 - 269.845 Bryan Green

I'm just not that funny. But Kelsey, again, a very talented comedian.

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269.865 - 270.806 Unknown

She is very funny.

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271.006 - 273.43 Bryan Green

She is very funny. I checked out her new special.

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273.49 - 274.131 Unknown

Yeah, I did too.

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274.191 - 284.346 Bryan Green

Oh, you did? What did you think? I loved it. Yeah, it was good. What is the name of that new special? Hold on one second. The Hustler. The Hustler is what it's called. She's got a special called The Hustler.

Chapter 8: What can listeners expect from Kelsey Cook's upcoming tour?

284.466 - 307.531 Bryan Green

It's out there on YouTube. 800-pound gorilla, which so many of the comedians that come on this show have specials on 800. Good for 800-pound gorilla. Yeah, they're really... Like the new Comedy Central of... Of the digital age. KelseyCook.com. You can find tickets to her tour, link to her special, and of course, links to the podcast. And we're just so tickled to have her here today.

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307.571 - 314.945 Bryan Green

She is, well, at least I think she's a Midwestern girl now. Is she a Midwestern girl now? I think so. Doesn't she live, like, somewhere? I don't know.

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315.065 - 316.207 Unknown

I think they live in Minneapolis now.

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316.227 - 330.929 Bryan Green

We'll figure it out. We'll ask her all that information. So, Chrissy, now it's time for You Know What the Time is For, the awkward transition phase, where Brian doesn't know what to do with himself, so he just pretends like he knows what he's doing with himself. Let's take a break. I am asking you a question. Should we take a break?

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331.109 - 337.298 Bryan Green

And then when we get back, we'll invite Kelsey to come on, and she will be here through the magic of telepodcasting.

337.278 - 338.841 Unknown

I think that we should do it, Brian.

338.881 - 345.772 Bryan Green

I think I should trademark that word telepodcasting because I think I'm the only one who's ever said it. Probably no one knows what it means.

345.872 - 346.613 Unknown

It makes sense to me.

346.813 - 359.674 Bryan Green

It does. But she's actually not on the telephone. So why I'm saying telepodcasting. Telehealth. Telehealth. All right. So let's do that. Let's take a break. We'll get Kelsey on the line and we'll be back after this.

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