Chapter 1: What is the TCB Season Lottery and how does it work?
Hey there, critters and sitters. The TCB season lottery continues this week with TCB classics going all the way through six seasons of the commercial break. They said we couldn't do it. They said it would never happen. The naysayers told us, no, you'll never get to 10 episodes, let alone a thousand. But despite all indications to the opposite effect, Chrissy and I continue to do the show.
No money, no listeners, no fame, no fortune, no glory, and very few, if any, laughs. But if we can hang our hat on one thing, it's the fact that we have consistently shown up and given you exactly what you never asked for. Mom would be proud if Mom knew how to get a podcast on her phone. Hi, Brian. It's your mom.
So in case you didn't tune in earlier in the week, while Chrissy and I are out of town, I'm doing the TCB Season Lottery. You're getting one completely random episode from each season of the commercial break. We're on season number two. I have no idea what you're about to hear, but it's run in its entirety and completely unedited. Surprise!
Let's enjoy together and figure out what kind of shit Chrissy and I were up to 17 years ago.
Chapter 2: What challenges did the hosts face in creating the podcast?
And welcome back to WSHIT's continuing coverage of the 2022 Crabapple mayoral election. Steve's got some callers on the line. He's taking some questions for the mayoral candidates. Let's go live to Steve in the studio.
Hello. Speaking of new faces, I generally have voted Republican over the years, but recently I've become disillusioned with the party. And I found an independent candidate that's been getting some
deez nuts and i was wondering what um your views on that were um what his chances are by the way deez nuts has been identified as a 15 year old farm boy named brady olson well i don't know about you but i think deez nuts is the refreshing change we need in office we'll be back after this commercial break
On this episode of The Commercial Break.
One of the two ways that we can do this, Chrissy is right, is we can charge. We tried that. It wasn't an incredibly successful venture. It was early on, very early on in like episode number 30. But we kind of felt dirty about that a little bit. Yeah. Because like, you know, the whole thing about podcasting is let it fly. We didn't have premium content. When exactly did that happen? Right.
Which episode? Episode 43. Exactly. You don't have premium, premium content. Like Sopranos level. That's right. You got to throw some commercials in there. Now, I'm not entirely sure when we were doing Patreon that that was premium content. That's what I'm saying. It wasn't premium content. Okay. Those episodes have been lost forever, by the way. Never to be found again.
Hey, you know something? No, what? I had a wet dream last night.
Hey, you wanna hear something? What?
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Chapter 3: What random episode from Season 2 is featured in this episode?
Hey, did you hear about Babe Ruth's Big Homer and the Night Thing? By the way, I got jizz all over my underwear.
I just came in my pants. Aw, gee, Jimmy. Why haven't I jizzed in my pants yet?
Wet dream? What's that? Oh, you know, when sperm comes out of your penis.
Sperm?
Yeah. Yeah. One of those sticky stuff.
Yeah, that white sticky stuff I can't get out of my hair.
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts reflect on their past content and experiences?
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
How the hell are you? I'm Brian Green. This is Chrissy Hoadley and happy holidays. Best to you, Chrissy. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of the, this, the, the commercial break.
Chapter 5: What humorous take do the hosts have on political discussions?
The. Don't forget the commercial break. The one and only. The one and only. I'm glad you're on board today. I'm surprised I don't hear this music in my sleep. You will eventually. It's going to be like that McDonald's fry timer. I don't, but I love the music. I just love it. It gets me in the mood. It's very good. It's time to rock. I like our intros. I like our outros.
I like the guy who does it. I think that part we've done right. Now if we can just get the middle part of the program. You buttoned up a little bit more. We'll be good. We'll be good. There'll be people listening to us. Don't worry. All in good time. I think by episode number 180, we should break that 10 listener mark. Stay tuned. Stay tuned. For 180. Please stay tuned.
Because if we're going to get to 10 listeners, we need you involved.
We'll be good by then.
Yeah, we'll be good by then. We're just winging a prayer over here. Winging a prayer. Winging a prayer. You know, this brings up an interesting topic. Living on a prayer. Take my hand. We'll make it, I swear. Whoa. We're going to get your listeners here. This brings up a fantastic ā this is a good segue to my next point, which I wanted to point out a couple weeks ago.
Actually, I pointed it out at the end of the show, but I'm not entirely sure how many people stay toward the very end of the show. So I'll put it at the front of the show so we cover those who stay and those who don't stay. Of our nine listeners, I bet seven of them don't listen to the very, very, very end of the show. Yes. Maybe. I don't know.
Actually, the stats tell me differently, but whatever.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts address the topic of sex education?
I got a couple of emails, and those emails weren't negative emails. They were just question marks. Did you know that on such and such platform, there are advertisements running inside of your show? Now, we're not talking about the host red ads, which Chrissy and I actually do, Chrissy and or I do inside of the show.
Mm-hmm.
But you'll notice that there's a little commercial break for the commercial break. And that's where I stuff all those liners that everyone hated when I was talking for 17 minutes about WW this and WWW that. I do remember that. Yeah, that was horrible. I went back and listened to some of those episodes. I'm like, what are you droning on about for 26 minutes? I fucking care.
I think I would just kind of like zone out and drink my wine. I know you would.
I know you would.
But honestly, sometimes a third of the episode was dedicated to telling people where they could find us additionally when they were already listening to us. Like, why was I doing that? Anyway, now I do it very quickly in the middle of the show. It's a taped segment. Spotify has asked us if we would be okay with them selling ads on our behalf.
And we have said yes, of course, because that's a big deal. In the podcast universe, that's a big deal. Yeah, that is. So as well as the host red ads, sometimes you will hear at the very beginning of the show or in the middle of the show, a commercial or two, 15 to 30 seconds, a commercial or two. That is us. We are doing that. We did say yes to Spotify. We know. Yeah, we know. We know.
And here's the reason why, in all honesty, is...
we just thought we'd share that with you yeah i think people get it yeah i think you get it i don't think i need to dumb this down here it is yeah you're either gonna pay for a subscription service with no commercials or you're gonna have a free service and hear a couple or you're not gonna listen to the show i'm not going with that okay all right all right fair enough
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Chapter 7: What insights do the hosts share about changes during puberty?
I don't know what the TV production companies do when they don't have all that pharmaceutical money. You know what I'm saying? That's true. It's crazy. It's big money. It's like every third commercial is for this or that or the other thing. And it's sometimes it's really random medications.
Like, you know, if you have erectile dysfunction coupled with, you know, schizophrenia coupled with breast cancer call that, you know, you may need, you know, flip open, flip open helps. It helps you stay awake. Flip open. Flip open. If you're a truck driver with one leg driving down the street. You may need this. Yeah, and notice an itch in your nipple, you may need Flip Open.
Flip Open has been proven to keep you awake while getting rid of that itch, nipple itch, nipple itch, nipple itch. Good old nipple itch. Just in case you're wondering. Hey, I was thinking the other day. I was thinking about our changing bodies. You know, I'm getting up there in age. I'm in my late 20s now and things are starting to. Right. That was also the name of our very first podcast of 2021.
Our Changing Bodies. It's amazing that you still remember that. That's crazy. And that's a pretty funny episode if you want to go back and listen to it. It's the first episode that we recorded here in this studio. And that's when we say a happy new year. Ah, happy new year. And then continue it. For six months. For six months. And then that second half of the year we flip to happy holidays.
Happy holidays. I was thinking about my changing body as I get a little bit older and, you know, all the things that come along with a changing body. And it made me think for some reason, think back to puberty. Oh, yeah. You know, aging happens slowly, but puberty happens so fucking quick. Oh, my gosh. And there's a really good show. I don't know if you've seen this. It's on Netflix.
It's called Big Mouth. And I've seen a couple of hilarious. Nick Kroll does it. I mean, it's it's all about puberty. It's done in an animated animated form. It's so funny. It's really, really funny. Jeff and I love it. You know, I remember I remember Monster is the big I've seen it. I remember when I got hair on my chest, I had hair on my legs extraordinarily early.
Like I was 11 or 12 years old when I started getting hairy legs. And that was not fun in the gym class. I also, you know, had a raging heart on every, you know, one time when the guy asked me to climb the rope and I just told him, no, I just literally laid flat on the ground. I just can't do it. Don't put me in coach. Do not put me in coach.
There's a lot of stuff that goes on during that puberty in a very short order of time. So I remember back to a specific class that I had back in my Catholic high school freshman year. That is when the Catholics taught you about sex ed was in freshman year of high school. Very informative.
It was taught by the assistant, like the fill in the substitute gym teacher was the guy who taught this class. I'm pretty sure because the gym teacher was like, this is too embarrassing. I can't do it. I'm calling in sick today. Yeah. I can't ask you to climb that rope and look you in the eyes after I've talked about your boner.
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Chapter 8: What are the hosts' thoughts on their podcast's evolution and future?
But then in Germany, they have their own version of it called Sex Ed. And it's a show that runs on the public television. Okay. I like it. And they literally have ā A naked lady spread out on a bed and there is a, what looks like a doctor, she's got a medical coat on anyway, right? Spreading the vagina lips to touch the clitoris, to point to where it is. I mean, bravo. Bravo.
Bravo for my late night browsing here in the studio. I got it on private browser mode. This is not at all what I saw as a child. No. But maybe exactly what is needed. I think so because with the porn that's on the internet. Yeah, that's not realistic. I mean, it's not. It's not realistic for me. People need to be taught that. Yeah. People need to be taught how to have normal, regular sex.
With people's changing bodies. With people's changing bodies. That's right. You got to teach these kids and you got to show them. There weren't even diagrams involved in my sexual education. It was literally some rotund guy talking to us about where the vag was. We were all like, yeah, we know. We got it. It's in between the legs. 10 to 4.
And then they try and explain all the holes and stuff like that.
Whatever.
You get it. So I went on a hunt to see if I could find one of these educational videos that might have been playing around that time. I really wanted to see, like, I don't remember the video. I just remember the guy who was trying to explain the video to us. So I found some. Would you like to hear? Yes. You'll make this rather snappy, won't you?
I have some really heavy thinking to do before 10 o'clock.
Hi cats and kittens, Rachel here. Do you ever get the urge to speak endlessly into the void, like Brian? Well, I've got just the place for you to do that. 433-3TCB. That's 433-3822. Feel free to call and yell all you want. Tell Brian I need a raise. Compliment Chrissy's innate ability to put up with all his shenanigans. Or tell us a little story. The juicier, the better, by the way.
We love to hear your voice, because Lord knows we're done listening to ourselves. Also, give us a follow on your favorite socials. At the Commercial Break on Insta, TCB Podcast on TikTok. And for those of you who like to watch... Oh, that came out wrong.
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