Chapter 1: What chaos ensues in the new studio?
What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
On this episode of the Commercial Break. I always make it sound much more lame than it actually is. I'm like, it's just me and my friend and we're talking.
We're talking about each other's lives.
It's like you and your friend when you talk about, you know, the inside of an asshole. When you talk about the poop cruise. Right. You and your friend.
Peed in a jar.
That's right. When you and your buddy get together and talk about all your sexual exploits live on air. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Best to you, Chris.
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. How the hell are you? Thanks for joining us on this Friday edition of the commercial break from our brand new studio.
That's right.
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Chapter 2: How does sneaker reselling work?
It's all the rage. Everyone's talking about it on Instagram. So we go into this store, and it's all weathered clothing, used shoes, and everything has a hole in it, has dirt, has mud, and nothing, and I mean nothing, is less than $1,000. Wow. Wow. Nothing. And Astrid's like, it's all the rage to buy jeans from here, to buy these shoes.
And I was like, these motherfuckers, these motherfuckers buy a parachute tennis shoes from Fibu or Emu or whatever that Japanese Chinese website is. What is that Japanese website everyone's into?
Timu. Is it Timu? Yes.
Christina here in the studio with us. Yes.
She's able to help.
Hi, Christina. Hi. Give you a little thumbs up. Yeah. Thank you. Timu.
Am I right about it? Timu?
Yeah. That's that website.
I think we got our first Timu package the other day. I saw it. It said from Timu. Anyway, so these motherfuckers are buying, you know, knockoff designer clothing on Timu. They're running out in the street in puddles, and then they're bringing them back indoors, scuffing them up a little. And you're paying a thousand dollar markup to get used shoes and clothing with holes in it.
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Chapter 3: What is the story behind the 'backup ham leg'?
They're delicious. They're like what, dinner rolls?
They're like a cult favorite, too. People love them. Are they really? Yeah, they come in a round little pan, and they're small. They're like that big.
Oh, and they're all packed together? Oh, and then you cook them and they bloom.
They don't bloom too much, but yeah, you do cook them and then you eat them and they're delicious.
My aunt, my dad's sister, Babs, Barbara, we call her Babs. Babs from Chicago. She used to run the, there's a famous grocery store chain up there named Jewel. And so Jewel Osco, I think is what it's called now, Jewel Osco. And she used to run the bakery in Chicago for Jewel. And Jewel is like based in Chicago. So it's the, or maybe the, and maybe now they're in Ohio. I'm not sure.
I think they're owned by Kroger now, but Jewel had this huge bakery and the bakery would run like 24 hours a day, creating all of the breads and the muffins and the morning cakes and the coffee cakes and the, and the rolls. Yeah. And so, first of all, my aunt always smelled like bread, which was delicious to me.
Oh, my God. I love the smell.
I wanted to eat my aunt sometimes. I didn't say eat out my aunt.
Everyone settle down.
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of Hunter Biden's pardoning?
You have to really pay attention getting out there in the middle of an intersection because people... I don't know. I guess we've just all lost our sense of law. I have no idea. But this goes back to like Hunter Biden and Joe Biden. I think this is a big mistake on Joe Biden's behalf because you can't claim to be the good guys living up to the standards of this and that and the other thing.
And then when nobody's looking and everybody's looking, by the way, just go ahead and pardon your son for criminal activity. I know Hunter is a big target of the right and there's conspiracy theories left and right about the laptop
the laptop the laptop which is you know i don't i don't know but i think this is not a great move on joe biden's behalf but i also understand where joe's coming from it's his son he's lost children before and he's lost the election and and kamala lost too so he's like Yeah, he's like, fuck it. He's like, fuck it. He's also 98 years old. So he's like, I'm going to live two more years.
What do I care? I don't want my son to have to, you know, carry this weight on his back forever and ever. But I just think it's not a I just don't think it's a great look. But if I was president, I'd probably like a little crack. Some hookers, $500 million from Ukraine. I mean, what are we talking about here? What's a little crack amongst friends? I don't know. Exactly.
But, you know, just to, like, I don't want to cast dispersions, as I used to buy cocaine out of a kid's margarita cup and Chili's. But, you know. I gotta get some cocaine! Drive me crazy! Drive me crazy!
Yeah!
Good job, Christina. Good job, Christina.
That's Christina on the buttons.
Thank you. That was hard. Christina's like, I've been waiting all show to use that one button. But, you know, Hunter did have a bad addiction problem. I think that led to a lot of poor choices. I don't know how much criminality went on. And, you know, when you're a famous person and you're are on the wrong side of the IRS, you're going to be made an example of. That's just the truth.
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Chapter 5: Why is peeing in a bottle considered acceptable by some?
Have you ever known a man to pee in a bottle next to his bed because he finds that it's too much to get to the bathroom? I have not. Christina, have you ever run into a man who does this?
No, that's disgusting.
It's absolutely horrid, and I cannot believe what I am reading. Are you ready for this? New York Post, trusted source of all information. Women are venting that men store water bottles beside their bed so that they can urinate in them instead of getting up to use the bathroom.
This disgusting hack has become a viral conversation online where women are coming together and sharing stories about their partner who used the concept of as a lazy excuse to stay horizontal. Hannah confessed that she thought it was customary for men to urinate in bottles. I thought it was acceptable for him to piss in a bottle.
Horizontal? So you don't even, like, you can't even sit up?
You can't even be bothered to sit up to, I mean, to stand up and get next to your bed? This is the most fucking disgusting thing I've ever heard of in my entire life, and I want to talk to the boys out there. Guys, where did we learn this? Who picked this up on a road trip? When your dad says, I told you to go to the bathroom before we left. Okay.
Pissing in a bottle is then and only then acceptable because your father is telling you, I'm not going to fucking stop the car and you better not piss yourself.
Or if you're in a snowstorm.
Okay. In Atlanta, that happened. Yes. Okay. People were shitting on the side of the road. I saw it. I saw a trucker taking a dump on the side of the road. It was really. But at that point, I understood.
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Chapter 6: What bizarre experiences happen on Carnival cruises?
That's what I have to say. It all starts with him. Remember those people that were drinking piss and bathing themselves in the piss?
No.
You don't?
Do I? I do. I couldn't forget it if I tried.
Oh, was that Tina that did that episode maybe because you were gone?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know. Anyway, you remember that?
Uh-huh. It was horrible.
There was a couple, and they would drink and shower in their own urine because it was life-giving for them.
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Chapter 7: How do doppelgängers impact personal identity?
Maybe you go to the Trevi Fountain, you come back, right? That's it.
Did you have any people on that cruise that were late to get back?
We had one couple that there was consternation because the couple was not found. They didn't come back and they weren't in communication. And I remember the captain coming back. But he let us know later that everything was fine.
We're saying. Yeah. I think that's what happened. Go without me. Yeah, go without me. I'm done.
I didn't like cruising. But like their luggage was on board, but they were gone. It was something, some kind of event that happened on the cruise ship that was talked about. But I remember that it all turned out okay. I've never been on a cruise where like someone died or anything like that. No. But I will say this. Yeah. the cruise ship in and of itself has to be the thing.
You, you don't go, you can go for the locations, but the locations are not going to be where you're spending the most. Yeah.
I was going to say, it's kind of like a hotel on sea.
I find that to be fascinating. I find it to be fascinating that you're floating on the empire state building essentially, or an entire city. And you can, we went on that oasis of the seas. I think it was at the time, the second largest cruise ship in the world. And they've built even bigger cruise ships since then. It, It is fascinating. I did not get to every corner of the ship.
I was on it for 10 days. I didn't get to everything there was to see. Certainly didn't do everything. 17 restaurants.
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Chapter 8: What new ideas emerge for a doppelgänger matching service?
Very well done by Christina. I like to watch her run around. It makes me feel good when I'm writing that paycheck.
So these are European cameras?
Well, they're all European cameras. I guess we're all European at the end of the day. It's kind of like people. We're all European at the end of the day. So these Brady Feigls, this is really freaking me out.
That is a freaky thing.
And would you want to meet your doppelganger?
Sure.
Yeah? You think? Yeah. You'd want to meet the person that looks exactly like you, talks exactly like you? It would be very strange, but why not?
The curiosity would be there.
You know what? I think it would be a good idea to put a website together, like a Tinder for doppelgangers. Put an image. AI goes out there and finds similar-looking people, and then you just flip through it until you find one that's exactly like you, and then you connect with them. You say, hey, Doppelganger, like the Doppelganger website.
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