Total Eclipse of the Dussy

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The Commercial Break 1h 0m 4 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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What is a dussy and why is it significant?

Krissy Hoadley 0:00
see to y'all i only appear to be riding a bicycle but to me i'm putting miles between me and a dirty bitch on this episode of the commercial break
Bryan Green 0:16
Yeah, I'm so glad we get to do all of our masturbating at home now. Yeah, it's been private. The internet has brought us privacy. I can do it wherever I want, whenever I want. I mean, well, not here, but, you know, not in this household. But there is six to seven seconds a day when you get privacy. So if you're quick about it, you can figure it out. I'm just going to be like, hey, hon, I'm going to go fill up my dune popcorn bucket. I'll be right back.
Krissy Hoadley 0:39
Me and Deucey are going to go in the bathroom for a few minutes. Leave me alone. I just want to be with my dune toy.
Unknown 0:46
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
Bryan Green 0:58
cats and kittens welcome back to the commercial break i'm brian green this is the beautiful co-host of this damn show chris enjoy only best to you chris fuck around and find out best to you out there in the podcast universe how the hell are you thanks for joining us

What happened during the recent eclipse and how did people react?

Bryan Green 1:12
You know, I know this is going to be this will be like out. We're going to air this maybe a week after it actually happened, maybe even longer. But the eclipse was just recently. And that got me all excited. Eclipse mania. Yes. The same way helping my son's homework gets me excited. I don't care. I don't care. No one cares. It's an eclipse. Didn't we just see an eclipse like three years ago? Why part two? Was it that long ago? It was in 2017?

What are the funny and bizarre NextDoor posts about the eclipse?

Bryan Green 1:44
I thought I had children when the last eclipse happened. no i thought i had less children i don't know i thought i had more children than i actually had that's crazy but of course i was here i was watching the news coverage wall-to-wall news coverage on every fucking channel of the eclipse everywhere yeah i get it it's exciting you know the the universe doing a little peekaboo for us a magic trick yeah it was kind of uh it was kind of eerie kind of spooky for a minute It was. I mean, I know that half the country experienced this, so I'm telling them something. And they probably experienced some of them experiencing in totality. So it was different than what we experienced. Even the smallest amount of sunlight still is very bright outside.
Bryan Green 2:24
It's not like it went dark like I saw on TV some other places. But it does turn like this weird 3D color outside and the shadows start moving. It doesn't look like you're looking in like a weird 3D glasses or something. The kids were totally freaked out running around because we had to explain to them as on the way out the door to school, which they got out before the eclipse.
Krissy Hoadley 2:44
I was going to say, because I heard that the school was like canceled. for some because they don't want kids to go blind.
Bryan Green 2:50
It's just too much of a temptation. You can tell kids all day long, don't look at the sun.

What makes the Dune popcorn buckets a controversial topic?

Bryan Green 2:54
What's the one thing they're going to do is look at the sun. So I was telling my kids before I left, I had like, I don't know, like this scared straight dare moment where I was like, you know, just say no to staring at the sun. Like, don't do that. You can set on fire. Your eyes can set on fire. And so when one of my kids got home, she was literally so scared of the eclipse. She was like hiding behind the couch. I said, it's okay. You can come out and look outside. We're not going to go out there. And we didn't have the glasses and all that stuff. We figured just best, you know, safety first, Chrissy, basically around this household.
Krissy Hoadley 3:23
Right. That's always the thing.
Bryan Green 3:26
Safety first, budgeting last.

How do men behave in disgusting ways related to the Dune popcorn bucket?

Bryan Green 3:28
That's the rule around this household. And so I was telling the children, it's okay. You don't have to worry about it. Don't freak out about it. We'll watch it on the television and we can see outside.
Krissy Hoadley 3:37
That's the thing. You could just see it all over the TV.
Bryan Green 3:39
Yeah, and it just didn't work. I have permanently scarred my children for life. And then my wife, who is a rather intelligent human being, or I wouldn't have married her, says, well, you know, I'm really scared about the children looking at the sun today because of the eclipse.

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