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The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Delivered on His Campaign Promises, But Only to Himself | Alexandria Stapleton

23 Jan 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 23.895 Unknown

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23.875 - 54.355 Unknown

You can save money without missing out on features you need. Check out Odoo at odoo.com. That's odoo.com. You're listening to Comedy Central. from the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This is The Daily Show with your host, Josh Johnson.

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67.767 - 87.607 Josh Johnson

Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Josh Johnson. We've got so much to talk about tonight. We grade Trump's first year on a scale from one to what the hell. Louis Black is sick of your retro bullshit. And later on, the director of the Diddy Doc will be here. And let's just say I have a few questions, comments, and concerns. So let's get into the headlines.

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92.312 - 113.493 Josh Johnson

This week was a major milestone because Donald Trump made it a whole year. And I gotta give him a hand. Literally, I think he needs a new hand. Because that hand's got one unopened pickle jar before it slides right off. So tonight I thought we'd do a progress report. You know, what Donald Trump promised during the campaign versus what we got so far. We'll see how he grades out.

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113.553 - 127.93 Josh Johnson

I'm guessing maybe like an A minus. Does that sound good to y'all? Okay, damn, fine, A plus then. I didn't realize y'all were such fans. Let's start with maybe the biggest promise Trump made during the campaign.

128.112 - 133.561 Donald Trump

I'm telling you, you're going to become very rich. You're going to become rich as hell. You're not going to know what to do with the money.

134.763 - 159.393 Josh Johnson

Yes, we will. It'll be 10,000 years before I run out of ideas for what to do with the money. You give me unlimited money and I run out of ideas for how to spend it, I'll just start eating it. Americans will always figure out what to do with extra money. Have you ever seen how many Cybertrucks we've sold? That shit can't even drive over loose gravel, and I still see one every day.

159.453 - 180.972 Josh Johnson

Now the question is, one year later, did Trump make us all rich? Considering your nana asked the whole family to subscribe to her OnlyFans so she could pay the light bill, I would say no. If I'm being honest, I don't know anybody who's feeling richer. Going to the New York Times, Trump has used the office of the presidency to pocket more than $1.4 billion for himself.

182.013 - 214.373 Josh Johnson

Wait, $1.4 billion off of being the president? That's so rich, it makes every other president look stupid. Like, what was up with George Washington's wooden teeth? You broke bitch. You should have had them molars iced out. So I'm going to say that promise was not kept, but you can't win them all. Let's look at another one.

Chapter 2: What promises did Trump make during his campaign?

278.452 - 301.249 Josh Johnson

But this is crazy. Trump promised us riches, then he got rich. He promised us jobs, but then he got all the jobs. Wait, what if, what if when we heard all of Trump's promises, we thought he was talking to us, but maybe he was just talking to himself? Because if you look at it that way, he might be keeping his promises. Like, look at health care.

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301.53 - 318.614 Josh Johnson

He's been promising to improve health care for like a decade now. And things are so bad, the only health care most people can afford is watching The Pit and hoping Noah Wiley tells a patient how to treat eczema. But Donald Trump has more health care than he knows what to do with.

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318.914 - 325.443 Alexandria Stapleton

President Trump says he has no idea which part of him doctors were looking at when he had an MRI in October.

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325.663 - 327.887 Unknown

What part of your body was the MRI looking at?

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327.907 - 350.179 Josh Johnson

I have no idea. You have no idea? Are you getting so many MRIs they just blend together? Like, do you just get in tubes that people tell you to? I'm starting to think that if you got close enough to Trump, you could probably just give him a colonoscopy. This guy's presidency is going great for himself. Just look at free speech.

350.56 - 355.827 Donald Trump

We will restore free speech, and we need free speech in this country.

356.38 - 370.076 Josh Johnson

Yes, Trump promised a golden era of free speech. Not for you. They'll put you in jail just for posting memes. But Donald Trump, his speech, whew, it's so free, it seems like it's lost in the woods. She's a documentary-ist.

370.477 - 372.019 Donald Trump

Only if you buy a Tesla.

373.761 - 402.115 Unknown

Uh, Abra-bai-john? Go-nal-eff. So it's go-nal-eff. Is that a proper pronunciation? I would say Abraham. but it's so much nicer when you say Abraham. I said, well, let's see how we say that. Acetaminophen. Pergoverous. Pergoverous. As a linguist, translator, and cryptologic technician.

Chapter 3: Did Trump deliver on his promise to make Americans rich?

618.078 - 624.606 Unknown

Sigfluencers, I guess in the simplest terms, is a mood board celebrating hot people smoking cigarettes.

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625.608 - 655.78 Lewis Black

Wow. Are you shitting me? Sigfluencers, or as I used to call them, my parents... And since when does smoking need a mood board? The great thing about addiction is you're always in the mood. Point is, you don't smoke cigarettes because some sigfluencer tells you to. You smoke cigarettes because you're going through a custody battle. And unfortunately, you won.

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657.127 - 663.214 Lewis Black

But cigarettes aren't the only trend these young organ banks are resurrecting from the dead.

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663.855 - 665.677 Alexandria Stapleton

Flip phones making a comeback.

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665.898 - 682.878 Unknown

Many Americans want to ditch their smartphones for so-called dumb phones. So this is my way of taking back my attention span and deciding what role technology plays in my life. The idea is to have a phone in your pocket that isn't constantly... You know, I've been listening to nature a lot.

683.159 - 685.041 Alexandria Stapleton

I've been connecting, I've been thinking my thoughts.

687.822 - 723.773 Lewis Black

Of course you've been thinking your thoughts. Who else thoughts would you be thinking? I mean, if you were thinking my thoughts, you'd be thinking, this woman sounds like a idiot. But have it your way, Gen Zers. Use a flip phone. Hope you like 8-bit dick pics. Of course, once you reach my age, the penis just becomes low res naturally. When I unzip my pants, my body plays the sound of Ms.

723.833 - 732.719 Lewis Black

Pac-Man dying. So cigarettes, flip phones, at least those trends are preserving your dignity.

733.32 - 738.768 Donald Trump

Allure magazine says that tramp stamps are making a big comeback with the kids.

Chapter 4: How did Trump's presidency impact job creation?

979.658 - 1006.728 Josh Johnson

Because the whole thing just... The way that you told the story, because I feel like so much of what's happening in the doc is things I knew, some things I didn't know, but a lot of things that I knew and I guess I forgot. And I feel like... that says something about how we view celebrity or how we view power that, like, oh, you can kind of just take a couple on the chin to the public.

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1006.788 - 1026.877 Alexandria Stapleton

Right, right. Well, he's a genius at marketing himself and marketing, you know, his artists, Bad Boy. He's an American mogul. And I think that, you know, the underbelly of Sean Combs' world is a dark and mysterious and disturbing... place, you know, for a lot of people.

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1027.058 - 1043.517 Alexandria Stapleton

And so we had four hours to kind of take you on that ride and to kind of trigger memories and, you know, experiences that we all, you know, I was a teenager in the 90s and grew up loving Bad Boy and his artists. And to actually see what was going on behind closed doors was frightening at times.

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1043.834 - 1066.517 Josh Johnson

And so you compiled all of this. Did you make specific choices on who to interview? Because, you know, you could talk to Shine, you could talk to Mace, you could talk to people that are mentioned in the doc but aren't on screen as much as, you know, the people that did sit down. Was there specific choices that went into who you interviewed and why?

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1066.784 - 1080.486 Alexandria Stapleton

Well, you always kind of cast the net wide. And so that was what we set out to do. I obviously really wanted an interview with Sean Combs and went out to him on multiple occasions and thought in my head that I was going to have the opportunity to do that.

1080.826 - 1086.015 Josh Johnson

Wait, I'm so sorry to interrupt you. You went to Sean Combs?

1086.055 - 1086.716 Alexandria Stapleton

Not physically.

1086.896 - 1093.146 Josh Johnson

No, not physically, but still, just you were like, hey, I'm making a documentary about you that you won't like.

1094.189 - 1105.071 Alexandria Stapleton

I was like, my job is to present all sides, right? So, you know, even though 50's name is attached to this, you should still, like, it'll be authentic. You know, if you participate, like, we'll print it.

Chapter 5: What is the current state of healthcare under Trump's administration?

1306.797 - 1330.712 Alexandria Stapleton

so much footage. I mean, these interviews would go like 12 hours sometimes. The amount of archival footage that we have is, I could honestly say it's like endless. So this was just the tip of the iceberg. I think to come out and to do more, you know, I'm kind of waiting to see how things are going to play out and curious to see if some other people might come out on their own. And so we'll see.

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1330.753 - 1339.62 Alexandria Stapleton

You know, the story is not over. I think, you know, there's over 100 civil suits that he's still facing right now. So there's a lot more to play out.

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1340.121 - 1340.942 Josh Johnson

Got you, got you.

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1340.962 - 1342.303 Alexandria Stapleton

So it's not a yes, but it's not a no.

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1342.583 - 1378.536 Josh Johnson

No, no, I can tell. Now, 50 Cent's also attached to the project and everything. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does he hate Diddy? Like, is it... Like, is it 50? Don't get me... Because I just imagine y'all in the... I don't know how involved he was, but I imagine y'all in the room editing together and him just smiling.

1379.765 - 1387.519 Alexandria Stapleton

He smiles a lot, right? Yeah. Yeah, I do, like, he... No, he doesn't hate Diddy.

1387.759 - 1388.22 Josh Johnson

Oh, okay.

1388.24 - 1406.273 Alexandria Stapleton

No, and to be honest, I would do cuts, screen them, you know, for him, and he was smiling. But, you know, he was actually... He would give me feedback about... uncovering things that were actually, and talking to people that were, that loved Diddy, you know? And he loved the complexity of the story.

1406.313 - 1423.204 Alexandria Stapleton

That's, you know, what made this partnership, I think, really good when we sat and talked for the first time before I started. He's a very complex, you know, he thinks about things in a very complex way. He understands the power of nuance. And so we never had conversations where he was like, put more of the bad stuff in, you know? He was like,

Chapter 6: What does Trump promise about free speech?

1544.988 - 1565.98 Josh Johnson

When you talk about Diddy and his marketing of himself or as this ambassador for hip-hop and everything, that sort of thing doesn't just turn off. When Diddy gets out, because I'm sure you think about when Diddy gets out. I think about when Diddy gets out all the time. I think a lot of people do. Yes, I do. I have also been talking a lot.

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1566.26 - 1588.731 Josh Johnson

And so I wonder, though, when he gets out, do you think that he's already planned a strategy the same way that he had a camera crew following him leading up to his indictment to basically think 10 years ahead for a comeback story that he was probably going to shoot of himself? Do you think that right now he's also figuring out how he's going to pivot?

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1589.217 - 1618.67 Alexandria Stapleton

Absolutely. Absolutely. I think that he is the father of reinvention. He has reinvented himself, you know, and through horrible circumstances, you know, for decades, he's able to kind of come out of the ashes and do a mea culpa press tour and on to the next. I don't know if it's going to work this time. But I think that Diddy is definitely, I never call him Diddy, I always call him Sean.

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1618.69 - 1622.596 Alexandria Stapleton

I think Sean Combs is someone who views chaos as a ladder.

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1624.579 - 1632.893 Josh Johnson

That makes a lot of sense, especially when you watch the documentary and everything. I mean, do you have any guesses at what that shift's gonna be? What that...

1633.413 - 1647.956 Alexandria Stapleton

I've heard, I mean, I've heard so many different theories. There's some people that were like, I think that he's going to manufacture baby oil. Like, and I was like, that is wild. That was one that I heard. And she was like, no, I'm serious. I'm very serious. Like she, and I was like, you know what?

1648.416 - 1654.746 Alexandria Stapleton

I could see, I mean, I don't know what he, I don't know what is going on through that man's head right now, but I wouldn't be surprised.

1654.726 - 1678.805 Josh Johnson

If I'm throwing it out there, because I've been talking about this with friends, I think he would come out of jail, he would lay low, and then he would sort of resurface as like a pastor. Ooh. Yeah. Oh, that's deep. I think he would be like, hey, I was bad. I was the worst of the worst. And then God found me in that cell. And now, look at who I am. Look at where I am.

1679.025 - 1683.249 Josh Johnson

And then, you know, you see him next to... Well, we see him doing the work in... Mega church pastors.

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