Trump Delivered on His Campaign Promises, But Only to Himself | Alexandria Stapleton

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition 29 min 5 speakers 6 chapters transcribed
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

Unknown 0:00
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Josh Johnson 1:07
Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Josh Johnson. We've got so much to talk about tonight. We grade Trump's first year on a scale from one to what the hell. Louis Black is sick of your retro bullshit. And later on, the director of the Diddy Doc will be here. And let's just say I have a few questions, comments, and concerns. So let's get into the headlines. This week was a major milestone because Donald Trump made it a whole year. And I gotta give him a hand. Literally, I think he needs a new hand. Because that hand's got one unopened pickle jar before it slides right off. So tonight I thought we'd do a progress report. You know, what Donald Trump promised during the campaign versus what we got so far. We'll see how he grades out.
Josh Johnson 1:53
I'm guessing maybe like an A minus. Does that sound good to y'all? Okay, damn, fine, A plus then. I didn't realize y'all were such fans. Let's start with maybe the biggest promise Trump made during the campaign.
Donald Trump 2:08
I'm telling you, you're going to become very rich. You're going to become rich as hell. You're not going to know what to do with the money.
Josh Johnson 2:14
Yes, we will. It'll be 10,000 years before I run out of ideas for what to do with the money. You give me unlimited money and I run out of ideas for how to spend it, I'll just start eating it. Americans will always figure out what to do with extra money. Have you ever seen how many Cybertrucks we've sold? That shit can't even drive over loose gravel, and I still see one every day. Now the question is, one year later, did Trump make us all rich? Considering your nana asked the whole family to subscribe to her OnlyFans so she could pay the light bill, I would say no. If I'm being honest, I don't know anybody who's feeling richer. Going to the New York Times, Trump has used the office of the presidency to pocket more than $1.4 billion for himself.
Josh Johnson 3:02
Wait, $1.4 billion off of being the president? That's so rich, it makes every other president look stupid. Like, what was up with George Washington's wooden teeth? You broke bitch. You should have had them molars iced out.
Josh Johnson 3:29
So I'm going to say that promise was not kept, but you can't win them all. Let's look at another one.
Donald Trump 3:34
So we're going to have more jobs than we've ever had. You will have more jobs. We're going to create a lot of jobs. We will take in so many jobs. Millions and millions of new jobs. We're going to do it like nobody else.
Josh Johnson 3:47
Now, did we get millions of jobs? Well, if by jobs you mean the foot jobs your nana is given to pay the electricity bill, then yes. Look, job growth across the country has actually been down, but there's one specific block of Washington, D.C. where job growth is through the roof. President Trump, of course, serves as the chairman of the Board of Peace.
Unknown 4:06
Donald Trump naming himself chair of the LA Olympics Task Force. Trump is also the chairman of the Kennedy Center. For the first time ever, the president served as the onstage host of the annual honors event.
Donald Trump 4:18
He touted himself as the acting president of Venezuela.
Josh Johnson 4:23
Whoa, Trump, Trump, leave some work for Steve Harvey, all right? Trump is taking everybody's jobs. He's basically AI with even more up hands. Hey, hey, don't look away. This man needs hands.

What promises did Trump make during his campaign?

Josh Johnson 4:38
But this is crazy. Trump promised us riches, then he got rich. He promised us jobs, but then he got all the jobs. Wait, what if, what if when we heard all of Trump's promises, we thought he was talking to us, but maybe he was just talking to himself?

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