Hour 1: Jeremy Teaches 3rd Grade Math

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The Dan Le Batard Show 45 min 7 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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What fantasy football stress can lead to?

Mike Ryan 0:00
Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment. If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers.
Chris Cody 0:38
All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff!

How does Dentek raise the stakes in fantasy football?

Chris Cody 0:45
Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion.

What is the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal?

Chris Cody 1:00
Smirnoff! Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.
Smirnoff!
Chris Cody 1:12
Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?
Smirnoff!
Chris Cody 1:26
That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age.

Who is Chris Cody and what does he bring to the table?

Chris Cody 1:44
Smirnoff. No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your Jägermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else?

What is the significance of game day attire?

Chris Cody 2:10
Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule.
Unknown 2:18
Never pee-pee on an electric fence.
Stugatz 2:20
Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister, must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all.
Chris Cody 2:28
Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York.
Dan Le Batard 2:41
This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
Pablo Torre 2:48
And you thought that I wasn't going to come. And I wasn't going to come. And the reason that I came is because I heard that someone said yesterday that I was an embarrassment to our people. Someone insinuated that I disappeared because I was an embarrassment to our people. This cara chivo over there with that great shit on his face. And if you go back and you look, Mike, if you happen to know, and Pablo Torre can maybe find out, we look at the old videos from the Clevelander, that beard that he had before. That was blacker than a meme's beard. So someone needs to look into that situation. Me, an embarrassment to our people. You know what's an embarrassment to our people? This guy can't even say reggaeton.
Pablo Torre 3:39
That's an embarrassment to our people.

What are the details about the media skate event?

Pablo Torre 3:40
People's right about that. I, sir, am no embarrassment to our people. I am our people. Yeah, you are. Yeah, people.
Stugatz 3:52
Ah, the nuttiest fan. It was brought to you by Hampton Farms. Get nutty with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season. And congratulations there to people.
Chris Cody 4:02
He is the 2025 nuttiest fan of the college football season. With six catches for 117 yards and three touchdowns on October 22nd, 2006, Hampton

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