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The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz

Hour 1: Jeremy Teaches 3rd Grade Math

12 Dec 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What fantasy football stress can lead to?

0.672 - 27.343 Mike Ryan

Coming off a losing fantasy week, that means you're one week closer to losing your league. That's stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding. Dentek wants to prevent teeth grinding and has raised the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment. Keep an eye out for the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal at the NFL Pro Bowl. or on Dentek.com slash ultimate punishment.

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27.624 - 36.67 Mike Ryan

If you're still feeling fantasy stress, try a Dentek nighttime dental guard to protect your teeth. Available at all major retailers.

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38.472 - 45.342 Chris Cody

All right, kicking things off with Smirnoff, the official vodka sponsor of the NFL and the number one vodka in the world. Chris Cody, you're here. Smirnoff!

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Chapter 2: How does Dentek raise the stakes in fantasy football?

45.502 - 60.142 Chris Cody

Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Smirnoff! Chris, you know what goes great with Smirnoff? Smirnoff! Yes, but I'm really talking about the game day fit. The style's got to match the vibe. Smirnoff! All right, here's the deal. Game day is everything. And that's exactly why your fit has to match the occasion.

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Chapter 3: What is the ultimate fantasy football punishment reveal?

60.162 - 72.296 Chris Cody

Smirnoff! Starting this December, Smirnoff is giving fans 21 and over the chance to score limited edition Smirnoff commission merchandise from some of today's top creators, including Kayla Jones, Gavin Matthew, and Alaylee May.

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72.737 - 85.352 Chris Cody

Here's the kicker. One lucky fan will take home the grand prize, a trip to the biggest game of the offseason. Plus, one fan will win Alaylee May's one-of-one game day jacket. Wow. The merch will be dropped on select dates from December to January 21, and it's all courtesy of what brand?

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86.228 - 104.313 Chris Cody

That's right, Chris. Fans 21 and over can head to Smirnoff Socials to learn how to sign up. And don't forget to grab a bottle of Smirnoff vodka, number 21, at your local retail. Smirnoff. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff. Number 21 vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York. Please do not share with anybody under legal drinking age.

Chapter 4: Who is Chris Cody and what does he bring to the table?

104.333 - 126.665 Chris Cody

Smirnoff. No purchase necessary. Must be legal. U.S. resident, 21 or older. Sweepstake starts 12-15-2025 at 12 a.m. Eastern and ends 1-23-2026 at 11-59-59 p.m. Eastern. See official rules at program website. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your JƤgermeister ice cold.

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126.865 - 130.131 Chris Cody

That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else?

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Chapter 5: What is the significance of game day attire?

130.611 - 138.645 Chris Cody

Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day? Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule.

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138.625 - 140.788 Unknown

Never pee-pee on an electric fence.

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140.808 - 148.7 Stugatz

Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister, must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all.

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148.98 - 159.856 Chris Cody

Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York.

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161.018 - 165.004 Dan Le Batard

This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

168.967 - 191.021 Pablo Torre

And you thought that I wasn't going to come. And I wasn't going to come. And the reason that I came is because I heard that someone said yesterday that I was an embarrassment to our people. Someone insinuated that I disappeared because I was an embarrassment to our people. This cara chivo over there with that great shit on his face.

191.823 - 218.915 Pablo Torre

And if you go back and you look, Mike, if you happen to know, and Pablo Torre can maybe find out, we look at the old videos from the Clevelander, that beard that he had before. That was blacker than a meme's beard. So someone needs to look into that situation. Me, an embarrassment to our people. You know what's an embarrassment to our people? This guy can't even say reggaeton.

219.376 - 220.778 Pablo Torre

That's an embarrassment to our people.

Chapter 6: What are the details about the media skate event?

220.798 - 231.051 Pablo Torre

People's right about that. I, sir, am no embarrassment to our people. I am our people. Yeah, you are. Yeah, people.

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232.073 - 241.606 Stugatz

Ah, the nuttiest fan. It was brought to you by Hampton Farms. Get nutty with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season. And congratulations there to people.

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242.247 - 262.835 Chris Cody

He is the 2025 nuttiest fan of the college football season. With six catches for 117 yards and three touchdowns on October 22nd, 2006, Hampton The 37th most points in a half PPR game by a tight end. Tickle me. Algie Crumpler.

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262.856 - 264.903 Mike Ryan

Whoa. Half PPR?

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265.325 - 285.381 Chris Cody

Half PPR. It's important. The rankings wouldn't change, right? Half PPR, full PPR? It does change. Why would it change? Because more catches equals more points. That's right. Yeah, but the stats stay the same. I see what you're asking. I'm trying to think if you're right. Points per reception would be more if the point is worth a point instead of a half point.

Chapter 7: What happens when personal plans conflict with team events?

285.481 - 288.265 Mike Ryan

I don't think the rankings would change. Relative to each other.

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288.366 - 293.897 Chris Cody

Algie Crumpler, Algie Crumpler. In full PPR. Look up full PPR. 46. Wow.

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293.977 - 305.547 Mike Ryan

Wait a minute. The same game? It only means that the position group is worth more in your league if it's a whole point. Guys, but.

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305.567 - 307.492 Chris Cody

I see something out of the corner of my eye.

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307.512 - 312.647 Mike Ryan

I'll be right back. I understand what you're saying. Right?

312.767 - 315.632 Chris Cody

As you're with me, I can be an idiot with these types of things.

315.652 - 318.598 Mike Ryan

No, no. I know what you're saying. I'm trying to think if you're right.

318.939 - 324.228 Chris Cody

Kyle Pitts would have more points because he had 11 catches than somebody else who had five catches.

324.248 - 326.552 Unknown

No, but that's one relative. Because the yards, right?

Chapter 8: How does the conversation shift to John Cena's final match?

326.613 - 345.232 Unknown

So if the yards, if every 10 yards is a point, right? The guys with more yards but fewer catches, it's going to be higher up. But if every catch gets an extra bump, then it would have before.

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346.233 - 349.858 Mike Ryan

Mike, clue everyone into who you brought into the studio here.

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349.878 - 369.256 Chris Cody

I brought in David Dwork. Why? Longtime colleague, friend, host of the hockey show with Roy Bellamy. I have a couple questions. Okay. A couple questions because today, as you know, it's Battlecore Championship Day. You and the fam. Oh, no, Roy. I feel like this is not good for Roy. David, are you taking part in this? I thought Roy was participating in a media game.

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369.356 - 383.918 Chris Cody

I have since found out that it's a media skate. Are you taking part in this media skate? Yes. How many training sessions have you had for this leisurely jaunt around the ice rink? You could argue I've been training for this my whole life.

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383.938 - 388.685 Stugatz

I was going to say, these are two different levels. This guy used to play hockey, so he probably doesn't need the skating lessons.

388.825 - 391.449 Mike Ryan

When is the winter skate taking place? We don't know yet.

393.172 - 420.753 Chris Cody

Roy is telling me... Is it possible it doesn't happen? It's possible. Roy is telling me he can't make the Battlecore Championship for a team that he co-owns. We'd do this together. This is like a family. When you're a clone, you're a clone for life. Oh, awesome. He is not coming to the Battlecourt Championship today, Devils versus Cyclones, because he is training for this casual skate around.

420.773 - 422.095 Chris Cody

Is this a bad excuse?

422.412 - 423.714 David Dwork

First off, can I just say go Cyclones?

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