Chapter 1: What fantasy football advice does Jessica Smetana offer?
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Chapter 2: What is the latest on Lane Kiffin and Ole Miss?
Eastern. See official rules at program website. Mike, you know I have one rule to live by, right? Don't place parlays on multiple long shots. Don't say a game is won when it hasn't hit triple zero. Always drink your JƤgermeister ice cold. That's the rule. Everything else is merely a suggestion. Everything else? Everything else. Wearing clean underwear every day?
Well, that's just a personal decision. Brushing your teeth? Obviously smart, but not a rule. Never pee-pee on an electric fence.
Okay, maybe there are two rules, but the one that is 100% that I insist on completely, Jagermeister, must be drank ice cold. Or don't drink it at all.
Damn, that's cold. Exactly. You're finally starting to get it. Drink responsibly. Jagermeister liqueur, 35% alcohol by volume, imported by Mass Jagermeister U.S., White Plains, New York.
This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.
The Arkansas athletic director is still hovering over the shoulder of Mike Ryan. Jessica Smetana must be loving everything that's happening. Exactly how she said it would go with Notre Dame and Miami.
Should we make them promise to play nice here? Or how should we do this on the front?
No, well, first what we're going to do is play the useless sound montage, and then we're going to get to Jessica. But they don't have to promise to play nice. This is going to be Mike Ryan really pissed off, as he has been for the last few days.
And I think that Jessica can dance and gloat with a victory lap because everything that's happened with Notre Dame is exactly what she said was going to happen with Notre Dame. So let's play the useless sound montage.
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Chapter 3: How do Notre Dame and Miami compare in the playoff race?
When you score 32 points, you're supposed to win. We were hunting up front, that's for sure. This is not a one-way street where everything is on the players. No coaches are involved in that, too. At the end of the day, it's about making plays. What a great opportunity for us to be able to learn some things offensively. We needed to do better. We got beaten every possible way.
From the beginning, executed, executed. But that's life. It's good to learn. I'm excited we're 9-2. I'm excited that I don't have to see them until Monday. But we're never going to apologize for finding ways to be able to win. I mean, it really was kind of one of those days. I hate saying that, but it was just a little bit of one of those days.
We were playing seven-on-seven football, starting from the midfield and beyond the entire game. That's tough to do in the NFL. It's really disappointing that we didn't stop them
Why would you ask me a question? Are you trying to bait me? Are you going to get me fined right there?
Details and discipline. That was a box that we didn't check off today. The most important thing is, you know, just secure the W. We're going to fly back to L.A. You want to talk about some good bread. Anywhere I go, there's awesome bread.
percentages, you're going to take a few and lose a few of those. And that's why I say stats are for losers.
We got challenged in a lot of ways, but you're going to get challenged in the National Football League on weekends. When defense gave us a stop, you know, we turned it into points and then vice versa.
If we got stopped, defense would go back and forth with that.
I don't think we have any more plays left on the call sheet. We play better pissed off. They were going to beat every which way you could get beat. At that point, we got to find a way just to win football games and got to keep moving forward. That's what this league's all about. You know, I didn't help those guys, and I hate that. Doesn't matter what I think. I'm not the ones making the call, so.
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Chapter 4: What are the implications of giving an ultimatum in relationships?
The guys just executed and played their tails off.
We got stability at the safety position. Other than, you know, Jalen not finishing the game.
Hawaii. So the United States again, but just go play in Hawaii. I think that'd be pretty cool. But in Europe, shoot, it'd be pretty cool to go play in Jerusalem. I don't know. That'd be sick.
Roy, were you laughing because of Mike Tomlin speaking in poems? You got to be able to throw short and run long sometimes.
Yeah. Yes.
That doesn't make any sense. Splash.
He's great at little poems that say nothing. McVay's hard charging when it comes to saying little coach gibberish that doesn't mean anything. And then I'm pretty sure I heard Mike Ryan in there. Did I?
That was Pete Carroll. Most important thing is, you know, just secure the W. That was not Pete Carroll. I hear the chewing of gum. The most important thing is, you know, just secure the W. Pete Carroll. That was pregame Monday night, I think.
If last week's game for the Chiefs was a must-win against the Broncos and they lost it, what's this week's game against the Colts? Must-must-win.
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Chapter 5: What humorous courtroom ruling does Zaslow deliver?
Did you hear Kim Mulkey weigh in on the situation?
She took all the air out of it.
She was like on the Zoom leaning in like, he's meeting in Gainesville. Stop asking him. I know everybody here is so interested in Lane Kiffin. She was joking about the lack of reporters there. You guys are all on the Lane beat right now. I'll do this for you. He's in Gainesville.
You mentioned, though, Jessica, who do you believe? I like her. Lane Kiffin or the reporting? You believe the reporting, right?
No.
Um, I mean, maybe there wasn't necessarily a direct ultimatum given, but maybe, you know, maybe they're both right. Like maybe they've told him, hey, you need to make a choice about this. Maybe they didn't give him a deadline of the egg bowl or whatever it is. But I think both can kind of be true, right? I mean, maybe we're just splitting hairs.
He didn't necessarily say, I'm not looking into other jobs. He said there's no ultimatum.
Put it on the poll, please. If you have to give a person an ultimatum, should you just break up? I was asking earlier. Would there be any other coach in the nation, any other coach, that you wouldn't laugh at the possibility if that person doesn't coach in the playoffs, then maybe his team shouldn't be in the playoffs, even if his team deserves to be in the playoff?
What Mike Ryan was suggesting there is not something I would apply to any other coach in that sport.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts react to the latest college football rankings?
Same goes for Miami. Same goes for BYU and Utah and Vanderbilt and Alabama. So I'm not going to, I'm not counting my chickens, Dan. I'm not booking my ticket to Oklahoma for the first round playoff game against Notre Dame. But also when I came on this show two weeks ago after the first ranking, I thought Mike was going to be really mad and yell at me.
And he was totally defeated and was like, yeah, we played like crap and like blah, blah, blah. Miami needs to look at themselves in the mirror. And now it's like, okay, I feel like it's kind of late for all this. Like this has been the case now for over two weeks.
You can count your chickens. You can count them.
I'm not counting my chickens.
You can count them, though. Notre Dame can count its chickens. What do you mean? You're playing like Syracuse. You don't have anything left.
Yeah, but I think that what the committee head said last night was that if Miami and Notre Dame get closer, maybe they will factor in a head-to-head. But right now, they're not in the same pod, and they've ranked the teams. I know you guys have already discussed this by now, but three at a time, they'll do ā or Oklahoma, Notre Dame, and Alabama were the three that they were ā
debating the order of in this ranking it wasn't Alabama Miami and Notre Dame or Vanderbilt Alabama Notre Dame so I think it's possible that there is some sort of upset in the middle there and it brings the two teams closer together I also think like if if there is if that is the case then both teams should make it I think Miami is a good football team
Jessica, another big question today regarding Notre Dame is, does Notre Dame have to kick back to the Vatican? Like, do they got to taste the action?
No, I don't think. Again with this? I think Notre Dame's endowments probably.
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Chapter 7: What insights does Jessica provide on coaching and player performance?
They have a crazy amount. If the Vatican has their own city in the world.
That's what I said, Tony. Did you listen to the first part of what I said?
Morton also has his own city. I've been there. My point is, okay.
Okay, but if you do say it like that, it does make me believe you more when you do it with clenched teeth and sort of let some of the words sneak out between your teeth.
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Chapter 8: What final thoughts does the panel share about the episode's discussions?
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Don Levitard.
Mr. Shirt, if I may say for a second. Miami, they were simulating the snap count the entire game, and they were clapping at the line of scrimmage. And the only thing I want to see clapping are them cheeks on Mrs. Met in my face, Mike Shirt. All right? So that's one thing.
Stoogatz.
They're a bunch of cheaters, Dan. And you know who should be cheating? Mrs. Met on Mr. Met.
And he can watch if he wants. This is the Don Levitard Show with the Stoogatz.
If I may jump in, I understand what they said. Somehow Notre Dame is in a different tier because of its loss to Miami than the tier that Miami gets for beating them. We're not going to agree on Miami-Notre Dame, but they're separated by three teams. This was my issue with yesterday's television show. The chair said a bunch of things that made no sense.
Three teams is not close enough to start counting head to head.
Mike, if I may say, I agree with you. Letting humans decide on these... Very complicated orderings of teams with a million variables. There's always going to be bad choices made. We should just let the computers do it again. And by the way, the computers have Notre Dame ahead of Miami, as do the BCS rankings.
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